Love your story, Georgie. Such a contrast between the two older women. And you fill in their characters nicely with the dialogue. It's true; lasting beauty lies within us.
Good luck! I'm chairing Reflections in my kids school right now. I think the theme is gonna produce some awesome entries like yours.
I loved the personalities of the people--I was shocked by how wonderfully it was writen.
You did say you wanted a little bit of feed back so I'll say I L-O-V-E-D it. there is just one little thing I'd do. After the whole array of objects in the chest, there was a "were there." I would subtract that but I aint' a editor:)
Love your story, Georgie. Such a contrast between the two older women. And you fill in their characters nicely with the dialogue. It's true; lasting beauty lies within us.
ReplyDeleteGood luck! I'm chairing Reflections in my kids school right now. I think the theme is gonna produce some awesome entries like yours.
If you need to cut something, I'd say you don't really need to talk about Vera.
ReplyDeleteI thought that was great! You really made me want to keep reading it. Good job.
ReplyDelete-FringeGirl
Loved it!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteIT WAS GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!
I loved the personalities of the people--I was shocked by how wonderfully it was writen.
You did say you wanted a little bit of feed back so I'll say I
L-O-V-E-D it. there is just one little thing I'd do. After the whole array of objects in the chest, there was a "were there." I would subtract that but I aint' a editor:)
I noticed that, Coleman. Thanks for pointing it out. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, everyone!