Tomorrow will start the 30 Days of Music challenge that somebody "invited" me to do. I thought it sounded fun, and besides, I like music. So get set for poor quality youTube videos. :)
day 01 - your favorite song
day 02 - your least favorite song
day 03 - a song that makes you happy
day 04 - a song that makes you sad
day 05 - a song that reminds you of someone
day 06 - a song that reminds you of somewhere
day 07 - a song that reminds you of a certain event
day 08 - a song that you know all the words to
day 09 - a song that you can dance to
day 10 - a song that makes you fall asleep
day 11 - a song from your favorite band/artist
day 12 - a song from a band/artist you hate
day 13 - a song that is a guilty pleasure
day 14 - a song that no one would expect you to love
day 15 - a song that describes you
day 16 - a song that you used to love but now hate
day 17 - a song that you hear often on the radio
day 18 - a song that you wish you heard on the radio
day 19 - a song from your favorite album
day 20 - a song that you listen to when you’re angry
day 21 - a song that you listen to when you’re happy
day 22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad
day 23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding
day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral
day 25 - a song that makes you laugh
day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument
day 27 - a song that you wish you could play
day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 - a song from your childhood
day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year
Sunday, April 10, 2011
mistakes we make...
When I was little, I always heard the saying "Everybody makes mistakes." I used to wonder who Everybody was, and what kind of mistakes he or she made. Now I know who Everybody is. Me, you, the person down the street, my friends, my family. People just make mistakes.
I make rather large mistakes, mostly when it comes to the area of frienships. I've made a couple in the past few months. A friendship...I thought I was keeping myself from letting it become more. This time, I decided to stay a friend. Well...oops. I cared more than I realized. I spent so much time trying to keep myself from getting entangled in feelings, I didn't even notice that they'd been growing.
I didn't even know how much I cared until it was too late. For awhile I was able to keep the pain at bay by feeling angry. Then the anger turned into a resolution to remain above everything and to stay aloof, with no feelings or recollection of how much I cared. I hadn't cared, at all! Ha. Take that. Then I spent so much time trying to stay angry that it's like the pain has had time to grow and spread and suddenly, without warning, burst through to the surface.
Too much time spent hiding and ignoring what I really felt. I haven't missed him at all, and today, I miss him more than ever.
Time to move on. :)
I make rather large mistakes, mostly when it comes to the area of frienships. I've made a couple in the past few months. A friendship...I thought I was keeping myself from letting it become more. This time, I decided to stay a friend. Well...oops. I cared more than I realized. I spent so much time trying to keep myself from getting entangled in feelings, I didn't even notice that they'd been growing.
I didn't even know how much I cared until it was too late. For awhile I was able to keep the pain at bay by feeling angry. Then the anger turned into a resolution to remain above everything and to stay aloof, with no feelings or recollection of how much I cared. I hadn't cared, at all! Ha. Take that. Then I spent so much time trying to stay angry that it's like the pain has had time to grow and spread and suddenly, without warning, burst through to the surface.
Too much time spent hiding and ignoring what I really felt. I haven't missed him at all, and today, I miss him more than ever.
Time to move on. :)
Saturday, April 2, 2011
marriage...
You may find it odd, but where I come from this is the time of life where people start talking, thinking, and dreaming of marriage. Yeah, 19-25 is generally considered young by the world's standards, but here? It's just the way it is. That's what life is about, getting married and starting a family of your own. I don't mind that at all. For some people, marriage at age 19 or 20 is a great thing. For me? Not so much.
As I've been talking to friends who are in serious relationships that probably will progress into marriages, I've been thinking about what I want in my own life. I've been thinking about dreams and fears and how everything is supposed to work out. I don't know how it's all going to work out. It's not really my job to know the future, and at this point in my life knowing the future would probably throw me into hysterics that would only be ended under the influence of a very strong sedative.
I'm very afraid. Not of getting married. A lot of the young people I know, who are quickly becoming my dear friends, are afraid of getting married. They worry about the wedding and the reception and finding a house and a car and such. For me, I worry more about the years after the wedding. I wonder if the man I loved on that special day of the white dress will become someone I don't know anymore. Will he still love me? Or will I just be the housekeeper who doesn't go home when five o'clock rolls around?
My mom once said this: "Marriage is a partnership; it is not a hospital." Yes, I want to be cared for. I want to be loved. I want to care for someone, and to love someone too. What I don't want, and what I fear will happen, is that I will become something like a single woman sharing the last name and living space of a man she is legally married to but who no longer is interested in the marriage relationship. I worry that love will die, that I'll end up taking care of him and he won't be interested in helping me with anything. I don't want to sound selfish in saying I want to be taken care of and loved. I don't mean that I want him to do all of the work and put all of the effort into the relationship or the family. What I do mean is that I want us to work together, to share things. Partners. Lovers. Best friends.
Perhaps it's too much to ask. Maybe I just need to stop being afraid. In fact, I should probably be focusing on choosing a major right now. That's a more pressing issue, seeing as I'm graduating with my AS degree at the end of the month and registration for next year is on, what...Thursday? Yep.
As I've been talking to friends who are in serious relationships that probably will progress into marriages, I've been thinking about what I want in my own life. I've been thinking about dreams and fears and how everything is supposed to work out. I don't know how it's all going to work out. It's not really my job to know the future, and at this point in my life knowing the future would probably throw me into hysterics that would only be ended under the influence of a very strong sedative.
I'm very afraid. Not of getting married. A lot of the young people I know, who are quickly becoming my dear friends, are afraid of getting married. They worry about the wedding and the reception and finding a house and a car and such. For me, I worry more about the years after the wedding. I wonder if the man I loved on that special day of the white dress will become someone I don't know anymore. Will he still love me? Or will I just be the housekeeper who doesn't go home when five o'clock rolls around?
My mom once said this: "Marriage is a partnership; it is not a hospital." Yes, I want to be cared for. I want to be loved. I want to care for someone, and to love someone too. What I don't want, and what I fear will happen, is that I will become something like a single woman sharing the last name and living space of a man she is legally married to but who no longer is interested in the marriage relationship. I worry that love will die, that I'll end up taking care of him and he won't be interested in helping me with anything. I don't want to sound selfish in saying I want to be taken care of and loved. I don't mean that I want him to do all of the work and put all of the effort into the relationship or the family. What I do mean is that I want us to work together, to share things. Partners. Lovers. Best friends.
Perhaps it's too much to ask. Maybe I just need to stop being afraid. In fact, I should probably be focusing on choosing a major right now. That's a more pressing issue, seeing as I'm graduating with my AS degree at the end of the month and registration for next year is on, what...Thursday? Yep.
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