who's the fool...

On April 1st, I got an exceptionally sincere string of text messages from Adam regarding his spur of the moment decision to sign up for a teaching English excursion in China. Due to the heartfelt tone of the messages (i.e. "this is something I've wanted to do my whole life"), I decided it was best to not treat it as a joke, just in case I happened to crush his hopes and dreams. I hoped it was a joke -- it was April Fool's Day, after all -- but in the event that it wasn't, well. I didn't want to be the kind of girlfriend who says no to her man's dearest wishes.

Over the next couple of hours, however, I felt myself torn in two directions. It's a joke, I'd tell myself, Just a joke.

 But what if it ISN'T?

Joke.

Maybe not.

Joke. Adam wouldn't drop everything to go to CHINA, and in JULY.

But you KNOW the message said that he knows it'll push the wedding back to September (did I just tell you that there's going to be a wedding sometime this summer? Hm...), and...well? Joke?

Joke! He wouldn't do that.

He might.

NO! Because he wouldn't leave me to plan an entire wedding by myself. And he wouldn't leave before his brother and sister go on their missions. And he wouldn't miss being engaged. And...would he?

You don't know.

I DON'T KNOW!

And by then I was too sick to ask him about it, and so spent an evening throwing up and worrying that my future fiance would be running off to China and get back a week before our wedding -- which I don't want to have in September because of school, which he well knows.

Readers, you probably realized it was a joke long before I was completely sure of it. Joke it was -- he got me.

Note to self: NEVER worry about any giant, life-changing plans that people inform you of on April Fool's Day. Chances are, they're joking.

Thank goodness for that.

death looks good on me...

Actually, that's false. Death does not look good on me, and so I cannot wait for the day (hopefully tomorrow) that my skin is not pasty white, my eyes are not glazed and dilated, my lips are not a greyish blue color, and the circles of black beneath my lashes disappear.

Seriously. I don't think I've been this violently sick since I was a kid. Whatever this particular strain of stomach bug is, it's a doozy. Last night was the worst -- in the past when I've had a norovirus, I'll only empty my stomach three or four times over 24 hours. Not so with this bout -- 9 times in 8 hours. OUCH.

I am so done with this. Beyond looking like death, I've felt like dying, rather than going through this anymore. It's much, MUCH better at this point, but last night...wow. WOW. SO. FREAKING. SICK.

Poor Adam has it, too. And his sisters. And two of his brothers. And six of his cousins (so far). And his dad. And my roommate.

It's like the plague!

But really. I'm about ready to be done. Because, death does not look good on me (nor does it feel good) -- yet, I'm too exhausted to put on make-up to cover it up. Probably wouldn't make much of a difference, anyway.

Adam, however, disagrees with the "look like death" thing. Honestly, I never thought I'd find a man who would tell me I was beautiful when I, in my opinion, clearly look awful; who'd cuddle me up close to help me feel better; who'd kiss me despite my dry, dehydrated lips; who'd spend an entire afternoon watching Lord of the Rings on a cushion bed in the living room with me; who'd be so sweet and kind no matter how I look or feel.

I am the luckiest sick girl in the world.

Best sick day ever.

March top 10...

1. Just Give Me a Reason -- P!nk
2. My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark -- Fall Out Boy
3. Radioactive -- Imagine Dragons
4. Sail -- Awolnation
5. Better Dig Two -- The Band Perry
6. Overjoyed -- Matchbox Twenty
7. Daylight -- Maroon 5
8. Catch My Breath -- Kelly Clarkson
9. It's Time -- Imagine Dragons
10. Radioactive -- Lindsey Sterling and Pentatonix cover