comic KAAAAAAHN...

No, I'm not actually a Trekkie, though I have been initiated into the fandom by several very persistent friends. It's going to be a long undertaking. They're quite dedicated.

Despite my lack of Trekkie-ness, you can count on my nerdy affiliations to other fandoms, like Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, the TV series Chuck, Harry Potter, among a myriad of fun things. Which is why I once again attended the Salt Lake Comic Con this April with one of my best friends.

 

Here we are, me and Linnea. We're two of the cutest little nerds you're ever gonna meet, if you're lucky. ;) This is the second time we've gone together, and we're all ready making plans for September.

Meeting Karen Gillan from the popular TV series Dr. Who, which I've never actually seen. Linnea was kind enough to let me be in her the photo. Can you tell that I'm super tired? We'd been in line for over two hours!

Meet the handsome, charming, devil-may-care and self-proclaimed "I'm a nerd just like you guys!" Karl Urban of The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers and The Return of the King. When I walked up to him, I exclaimed, "Wow! You're super tall!" He laughed and in his adorable Kiwi (New Zealand) accent, he said, "No worries!" He then put his arms around us and bent his knees a little bit. 

He is so TALL. 

But my favorite -- the man who I was so excited to meet that I almost cried -- Adam Baldwin, who plays John Casey in my favorite TV show, Chuck. Yes, I know that it's kind of silly that I about cried from happiness and excitement. It was really special for me, though. I even got a giant hug when I said hello to him. It was a literal dream come true.

We had such a good time together. I was lucky enough to go on Saturday with a few other friends. I got to see Adam Baldwin again and attend the panel where he answered questions. One of the guys I was with went up to ask a question and got Mr. Baldwin to do his John Casey growl just for me! Afterwards, we got to meet Patrick Stewart -- another step to making me a real Trekkie. They just don't give up!

Such a fun experience. I can't wait for September.

so sad...

Today has been kind of a sad day. I woke up feeling like little pieces of glass had been wedged into my heart and were moving slowly through my veins -- kid you not, it's a real feeling. Your whole body hurts and shakes, and it's worst in your chest, like something has shattered -- and the little shattered bits are radiating out through your arms and legs and toes and fingers. Even your ears hurt.

Because it was such a sad morning, I was grateful for my friend Thomas. He took me to brunch at Denny's, because there was Hobbit food on the menu (and because he said he misses me, and that it's stupid that we're so busy with school). What better than Hobbit food to make you smile? It was such a laugh, the whole time -- I've know him for over a year, but there are so many things I've learned about him since we started spending time together this semester. He's probably one of the most talented, sincere people I've met in my life. I don't think he's afraid of anything. Visiting and laughing with him made some of the blues go away for a little while, for which I was happy. He took me to a dance concert at the college afterwards, and we had a good time watching all of the talented people perform.

Coming home, the sad aches began again. I tried doing homework, and couldn't focus. I tried writing for work, but no words made sense. I tried cleaning, organizing, even sleeping -- nothing.

Finally, I gave up. I went to Target and bought my favorite frozen pizza and some peanut butter cup ice cream. I bought season 7 of Psych through Amazon.com, threw on some sweats, let down my hair, got a plate of pizza, and pulled out my new shimmery, light pink nail polish. And I've been sitting at my computer since 7:45 this evening, watching ridiculous episodes and making my nails look pretty.

I feel a little better. The sad aches are still there, but they're a bit numbed now. I've got good memories of breakfast with Thomas, new funny lines to quote from Shawn and Gus, and pretty fingers.

Part of my brain is yelling at me for wasting the weekend, doing no homework and getting no work assignments completed. Another part of my brain is smiling.

Hopefully my heart will start smiling more, too.

now leaving Mordor...

And when I leave the testing center and turn in all of my papers, I feel like this:

Yes. I do use Lord of the Rings to explain and understand my life.

Spring term 2013 -- good riddance. And now to take a week long nap.

bunnies need a home, too...

Adam and I go grocery shopping together now. It was his idea -- he decided that because he eats so often at my house that he should share the costs. That was a huge relief for me, seeing as things are quite tight for me financially. Our last trip was the weekend before Easter. We went to the grand old land of Winco, and my sweet boy's sweet tooth got the better of him -- and so did my sense of fun and nostalgia. After all, we did officially meet at a gingerbread house making party a few weeks before Christmas. So it only made sense...

Yes. We bought a bunny house kit. You know, like a gingerbread house kit, but for bunnies. And we had a little help from Legolas, Aragorn, and Gimli, too.

bunnies!

Adam's roof work

bunny lovin' 

Finished! Except for Adam's bunny -- which got eaten by Kala. 

Hoppy Easter!

death looks good on me...

Actually, that's false. Death does not look good on me, and so I cannot wait for the day (hopefully tomorrow) that my skin is not pasty white, my eyes are not glazed and dilated, my lips are not a greyish blue color, and the circles of black beneath my lashes disappear.

Seriously. I don't think I've been this violently sick since I was a kid. Whatever this particular strain of stomach bug is, it's a doozy. Last night was the worst -- in the past when I've had a norovirus, I'll only empty my stomach three or four times over 24 hours. Not so with this bout -- 9 times in 8 hours. OUCH.

I am so done with this. Beyond looking like death, I've felt like dying, rather than going through this anymore. It's much, MUCH better at this point, but last night...wow. WOW. SO. FREAKING. SICK.

Poor Adam has it, too. And his sisters. And two of his brothers. And six of his cousins (so far). And his dad. And my roommate.

It's like the plague!

But really. I'm about ready to be done. Because, death does not look good on me (nor does it feel good) -- yet, I'm too exhausted to put on make-up to cover it up. Probably wouldn't make much of a difference, anyway.

Adam, however, disagrees with the "look like death" thing. Honestly, I never thought I'd find a man who would tell me I was beautiful when I, in my opinion, clearly look awful; who'd cuddle me up close to help me feel better; who'd kiss me despite my dry, dehydrated lips; who'd spend an entire afternoon watching Lord of the Rings on a cushion bed in the living room with me; who'd be so sweet and kind no matter how I look or feel.

I am the luckiest sick girl in the world.

Best sick day ever.

sometimes I'm dumb...

I've often imagined what it would be like if confronted with my worst nightmare. Usually I end up heroic, speaking eloquently and powerfully, standing up for myself and leaving with a firm, final statement that ends everything and turning on my heel, leaving the room with a metaphorical bang.

In reality, I ran as though chased by a horde of Mordor orcs and hid in a bathroom stall, sobbing. And then sobbing at home on my couch with my room mate and friend. And then crying in my room. And then staying up all night because I couldn't sleep.

My nightmares came alive last night -- and it was awful. More awful than I imagined. I was pathetic. I panicked and ran like a child. I cried and cried, so hard that strangers stopped me and tried to help.

I was so stupid. So stupid, stubborn -- Miss Independent, thinking she'd be fine on her own, that no way would anything happen, that I'd be left alone. So many people, odds in my favor. Psh. I'm an idiot. 

I wish I was braver. I wish I'd been able to stand up for myself and tell it like it really is. To end it, once and for all.

But I couldn't do it. Chelsea and Kenna told me that running was good, and that it was even brave, because I got out of the situation. They were so nice to me last night, letting me cry and sitting with me. They even let me say what I was really thinking, and they didn't judge me for it (I used a couple of words that I save only for certain occasions -- funnily enough, I don't feel guilty). 

I want to sleep. I'm so tired -- this day has been so, so hard. Thank goodness it's almost over. But, I'm glad to be at school. 

Nobody can find me here.

Okonomiyaki and the Return of the King...

For the last three weeks, Brianna and I have gotten together and watched one extended version of The Lord of the Rings on our afternoon off from work. This evening was the final installment of our adventure through Middle Earth, and we celebrated with kettle corn (we both may be little, but we sure can pack away a lot of popcorn) and dinner. Which was amazing. And easy. And from Pinterest (love). And foreign, too. To borrow words from Samwise Gamgee, "I don't usually hold with foreign food, but this Elvish stuff -- it's not bad!"

Or, you know. Japanese stuff.

Okonomiyaki, a savory Japanese pancake, literally means "as you like it." It's simple to make, quick to cook, fun to eat (because it's a pancake, but it's got sauce on it), and delicious to taste. Here's what you need:

1 cup flour
1 egg
1 – 2 cups fresh spinach/kale/nappa cabbage/ or your green of choice [minced]
3/4 cup rice milk or water
1/4 tsp salt
Okonomi sauce (or in our case Sweet & Sour sauce and Teriyaki sauce -- I have a major sweet tooth and liked the Sweet & Sour better, but they were both great)

This is your base recipe. Because this is an "as you like it" pancake, you can add whatever you want to the batter! Brianna and I added green onions and ham. Other stuff like garlic, potatoes, shrimp, fish, shallots, ginger, anything you want can be added in. After you've put in your tasties, do this:

1. Preheat pan with oil on medium heat (or do it after the batter is ready like I did)
2. Place all the batter ingredients into a bowl and stir until just combined- do not over mix (I don't know how you'd over mix it, but that's what the directions said to not do so I figured I'd leave it in for you -- in case it's important, you know)
3. Pour a large pancake sized serving out onto your pan -- about half of the batter will make one good sized pancake
4. Add any additional toppings (or stir them into the batter before pouring into the pan -- then it all gets mixed together evenly)
5. Allow to cook thoroughly on both sides (3-5 minutes, depending on toppings), add sauce of choice and serve while hot

Such a great meal. Pinterest wins again. 

And The Return of the King is just a fabulous film. It's so well done, and the feeling that you get from it is rather incredible. I'll admit it, I was moved to tears by the loyalty and love that the characters feel for each other, and that the actors portrayed so marvelously.

Fantastic evening, I must say. The whole day was great -- productive and fun. And now it's raining. Very perfect.

life is still good...

I've noticed lately that the things I've been writing about have been

a) sad
b) depressing
c) negative
d) all of the above

If you circled "d" then you would be most correct.

After debating whether or not I should apologize, I realized that apologizing would be a little silly. Why apologize for being sincere about how you feel?

However, I do recognize that not all of life is as bad as it may seem. That and I'm trying to keep myself from being extremely irritated and frustrated with people. Short plug for being considerate: just do it. Please. Think about what you're doing and how it effects (affects?) others before you do it. Don't cut in line, rinse your dishes, stop at stop signs, say thank you, pull your weight as much as you can before letting someone do for you what you can do for yourself. Thanks.

Mini rant over. On to the next.

Last night I did something fun on a Friday night for the first time in awhile. I had planned to go to the gym after work, then make dinner, scrub the kitchen, clean my bathroom, read my book, and go to bed around 11:30. My plans totally changed when Linnea asked if I wanted to watch the last two episodes of Sherlock, season 2. How could I possibly say no?

We made a delicious dinner of chicken Parmesan wraps (Pinterest wins again) and cold watermelon, followed by kettle corn (yes -- I did eat a bag and a half by myself) and Snickerdoodles. Sherlock was delightful -- I was absolutely terrified during "The Hound of Baskervilles." I screamed at least four times. "The Reichenbach Fall" wasn't frightening, but it was very fun to be able to follow Sherlock's line of evidence. I was right with him every step of the case. Until, you know, Moriarty pulled that one stunt at the end (I may have screamed then, too).

A late night drive with Kala rounded up the festivities at about 2am. I took her with me when I dropped Linnea off at her home. Kala doesn't get out much, and she likes to go for rides in the car (and I was also glad to have her along to help me not imagine giant black hounds with red eyes tearing out of the bushes around the complex when I got back home).

Today was a good day, too. I woke up feeling very sad again, so I got dressed and went to work on the house. Bathroom scrubbed, kitchen counters and cabinets wiped down, floors swept and mopped, dishes done, laundry started, room straightened, meals prepped, stove top washed -- all in an hour and fifteen minutes. By then I realized I was hungry (that happens a lot now). Wash spinach and drain, rinse strawberries and slice, shred chicken, chop nuts, pour poppy seed dressing, toss together -- salad for eating! Let's just say it was delicious and I might make another tomorrow.

Work with Alyssa and Hannah was a blast. We got almost everything on Tracy's list completed (and mind you, there were about 20 items to do), accidentally ripped up the puzzle piece flooring with the weight of our candy laden carts, climbed up and down ladders hanging hats from the ceiling and stowing boxes of candy on shelves (each box weighs nearly 40 pounds -- carrying 20 of those up a ladder is quite the workout), and just worked hard in general. It's always great to have things to do during a shift, rather than standing around waiting for customers to come in and need help.

Hannah asked if she could come to my house after the shift was over. We ate cold watermelon and made chocolate milk with the Hershey's syrup I keep stowed away in the fridge. Kala kept us entertained with her old lady antics (she lacks manners in some cases), until we finally were laughing so hard we couldn't breath. Pretty soon we got to talking about how she's been doing lately, and then she started asking me questions about Garrett. Half an hour later I'd told her a lot of things I've been keeping back, and I felt badly that I'd spent so much time talking about myself. But she said something that made me feel really happy inside. She smiled and said, "I don't mind. I like to listen. It means that you trust me."

I do trust her. I trust her, and Alyssa, and Linnea -- they're coworkers, yes, but more importantly, they're my friends. We have fun, we have hard times, and we're there for each other when we need each other. And even if we don't need each other, we're there when we want company.

Things are okay. Life is still good. It's hard, and I'm still sad a lot and don't know why, but life is good. Walking through the parking lot tonight in the cool evening air, the night breeze sweet and fresh, the flowers curling into sleep, the stars peeking through the clouds, all I could think about was how good it feels to be alive.

"Remember today, little brother. Today, life is good." -Boromir, LOTR

glue...

Sometimes I feel that all I can do is focus on holding myself together, forcing myself to dwell on the good things rather than the not so good things. And it makes things easier to bear. And it makes it easier to fall asleep at night.

I like to remember

...how fun it is to watch any of the extended editions of the Lord of the Rings with someone who hasn't seen the long versions before -- Brianna and I watched The Fellowship of the Ring this afternoon and it was fantastic
...freshly baked cookies topped with cold ice cream
...long talks and big hugs from daddy
...the sudden frequency of huge fluffy, puffy, cotton candy clouds that float over the valley and every so often share their watery burden with us down below
...promises from heaven that are being kept daily
...that I actually look really cute in skirts
...how wonderful it feels to be clean and fresh after a hot shower
...that I don't have to wash dishes or clothes by hand
...that I've been very lucky when it comes to the times I can't handle the physical pain -- so far it's usually been on weekends or holidays when I don't have work or school
...I'm twenty year old single college student with one room mate and I don't live in an apartment -- wow
...my school schedule keeps working out so well -- so do my money worries
...D&C 6:34 -- "Therefore, fear not, little flock; do good; let earth and hell combine against you, for if ye are built upon my rock, they cannot prevail."
..."Once Upon Another Time"
...the feel of his hand in mine and the sound of his heart beating in my ear

closet nerd...

Some of you know that I am a nerd, but it's not a super well known fact. Brother Eggett described me as a "closet nerd", and I think that is a pretty good way to put it. So...out comes a bit of my inner nerd-joy. I've listened to this three times now and I keep getting chills!

YAY LOTR happiness!!

it's been a good day...

Today has just been good. From start to finish, it's been. So. Good. Seriously. Seriously. Good. And to end it, here is a very funny thing I found on Facebook that made me snicker. I thought I'd share:

"The hobbit you just called fat? He's skipping 2nd breakfast. The dwarf woman you called ugly? She spends hours braiding her beard so you can differentiate her from a dwarf man. The Uruk-Hai you just killed? He's been abused by Saruman. See that Gollum creature? For 500 years the Ring poisoned his mind. That Elf you just made fun of for crying? She's being forced to leave Middle Earth, never to return. Put this as your status if you're against bullying in Middle Earth."

day 55...

a picture of the last movie that I saw in theaters...

Last week my family and I went to see The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King on the special release night. We saw all of them, every Tuesday for the last three weeks. Man, it was incredible! I'd never seen any of the films on the big screen, and wow. Just wow...they really were meant to be watched on the big screen.

This picture is a sequence of shots of Faramir and Eowyn in the last film. This couple makes me giggle and smile because they are so cute. Really. They're just adorable. I love them. I mean, both of them are awesome characters, dedicated to their friends and families, their countries and their freedoms. They fight for what they believe in, and each of them has a very important part in the outcome of the war against Sauron. I'm glad that they cross paths, and that they find so much happiness together! It makes me smile so big that it hurts my face a little.

SNM Youth Counselor Fireside...

All right. Today was a good day. Church was not so bad-dad spoke on integrity and did a good job. Mom taught the Sunday School lesson on why we worship, and Sister Cronin taught the Relief Society lesson on more worshipful prayer. I went to Relief Society with mom today because all of the Laurels (oldest young women in the ward, ages 16-18) went to the Singles' Ward for an introduction thing and I stayed so I could hear my parents talk/lesson.

Here's how all of this works: In the LDS church, 12-18 year old girls are in Young Women's, which is just Sunday School stuff and activities during the week. The 12-13 year old girls are Beehives. The 14-15 year old girls are Mia Maids. The 16-18 year old girls are Laurels (me). It include 18 year old girls because you don't "graduate" from Young Women's until you graduate from high school. This means that when I turn 18 I'll still be in Laurels until I graduate a few months later.

Graduated 18 year old kids (boys and girls) enter the Singles' Ward, which runs the same was as a regular ward in the LDS church (a ward is just all of the people who go to the same block of meetings-it's generally divided up by neighborhoods and such. Our building has three wards in it) but none of them are married.

Savvy?

After church I came home and the home teachers visited with us (home teachers are men in the ward who teach a lesson at their assigned family's home once a month. I don't really know why we do it, but it's kind of fun sometimes. Our home teacher knows all about Harry Potter and LOTR and Pirates. Not to mention math...), after which I took a sort of nap. We had a lovely taco salad dinner, courtesy of mom, and I got ready to go to a fireside for all SNM youth counselors.

I can honestly say that I have not felt so amazingly wonderful in a long time. Every single person in that room cried at least once because the feeling was wonderful. The experiences and testimonies about what we do there were awesome. I got up and spoke about my time with Sheleena and Emily, and how wonderful they are. It was so cool to hear all of the different stories and to realize how much we have all been changed.

Ah, shoot. Mom wants me off. I wanted to write and tell you all about how wonderful SNM has been to me. Perhaps I'll share tomorrow?

last post....

So this will be my last post of the year. I hope to do a better job of keeping updated during 2009 than I have during 2008.

Highlights of 2008(in no particular order):
Turning 16
Passing my Driver's Ed. Test
License!!! Which was then stolen...
January 1-3: Viewing Lord of the Rings for the first time
January 19-First date with Kai
Sweethearts 2008 with Kevin
Spring Break Zoo Trip
Prom 2008
Stephanie Meyer releases
Date Auction-Color Me Mine with Taylor
Homecoming with Jordan
Hanging out with Michelle
Michelle and JB's second anniversary
Sadie Hawkins 2008 with Josh
Fall Break-Tuachan and Zion's Canyon
Christmas Break-books, books, books!
Woodshop-loving the class and making a table
Mom and dad's 18th anniversary
Jingle Mingle-put together by boys!!!
Student of the Month-Science with Tony
Rearranging my bedroom
Mom getting better
Secret Speakers!!!
Completing 13 college credits
Completing Algebra I in 3 months
Completing Geometry in 5 months
Ballet at UVU
Riding the bus with a five dollar pass
Laptop for $300!!!
Snow
Starting 25 College Credit hours
Completing first term without a breakdown
Joining clubs: NHS, HOSA, FBLA
First full year at work-July 27
David Archuleta runner-up for American Idol!
Buddy having four surgeries
Dad getting a new job!

It's been a good year.

Another random thought...

Aragorn is hot!!!

.......................................................................................

So is Legolas!!!!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

and I have decided that to be loved by somebody like Faramir would be an absolute dream come true!!!!!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Not only is he sweet, but he's hot, too!

=======================================

Huh...not a single guy in LOTR is lacking in looks.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well...

maybe.

So, last night my sisters and I were on a sort of crazy-super-hyper-thing, and we decided that we should make a music video starring...Gollum! Only problem is, we haven't found a song to make it to...yet.

RaNdOmrAnDoMRaNdOm!!!

Lord of the Rings

I am now, officially, a fan of Lord of the Rings. It started off with my mom deciding to watch "The Fellowship of the Ring" here at home, and I was highly against it since I was afraid it would scare me. Wrongo. I am totally loving it! The original DVDs are great, but the extended versions are amazing with their 3 hours of extras and all sorts of things. LOVE it!

And this is just hilarious...