It's hard to believe that it's been 14 years since I was sitting in the family room with my backpack on and my shoes untied, more captivated by a radio than any 10-year-old child in this generation has ever been.
I'm saddened today -- not so much for the loss of 14 years ago, nor by the actions of the terrorists. Those feelings, though still tender upon memory, have been eased to a reverence through forgiveness, stories of courage, and hope in the goodness of humanity as thousands reached out to a suffering nation.
But I am saddened by how in such a short time -- 14 short years -- America has remembered the tragedy, but not the need to stand together as a nation, to fight for the ideals and values which birthed this country, to put others before self. As a whole, America appears to have forgotten the lessons we learned about pride, about ignoring threats, about selflessness before personal gain.
Wake up, America. Remember not just the days of dust, debris, destruction, and death. Remember that events like these serve as a wake up call, an easily forgotten reminder that evil is out there. That evil, given any chance, will rear its head and strike the innocent. Remember your part in this, as you sat rooted to the spot watching the Towers fall, the Pentagon burn, the fields of Pennsylvania fill with smoke.
Remember that America needs YOU, the very best you that can be given. Not our ignorance, our pride, our selfishness, our all-about-me needs. It needs our love, our committment to becoming better every day, our fight for freedom and justice for all humanity.
"God bless America, land that I love. Stand beside her and guide her through the night with a light from above."
"Perhaps the greatest test of our faith and the most difficult part of prayer may be to recognize the answer that comes to us in a thought or a feeling, and then to accept or to act on the answer God chooses to give." -Rex D. Pinegar
I have learned a lot about the Lord in the last couple of days.
I've learned that even though I make mistakes and feel afraid to pray, I can go to the Lord and he will listen.
I've learned that the Lord will answer my prayers and alleviate heartache.
I've learned that a spirit of peace can fill my heart and mind, even when there are tears pouring down my face.
I've learned that the family I was placed in loves me very much, and that I am blessed to have them.
I've learned that the Lord answers the prayers of my parents on my behalf, and that they really are interested in me.
I've learned that the Lord lets me and others use their agency, and that he comforts those who are affected by the choices of others.
I've learned that forgiveness is more than a possibility for me, but a reality.
I've learned that following promptings and holding on to peace is very, very difficult. Because life is not easy, and the fears and doubts creep in easily. Because loneliness sets in, and uncertainty clouds the mind.
Because what you want and what God says is best for you may not be the same thing.
Yesterday I finished my first folklore collection project. Three days of sorting through computer files full of dates, names, and beliefs about different diseases, injuries, and ailments...voila. Complete.
I learned a lot of interesting things. Mostly what not to do. For example, one belief advised treating a burn by covering the affected area with turpentine and then holding the limb over a hot stove. Mmm...false. Turpentine is flammable. Pretty sure that's not going to help.
Or this one: to cure frostbite, stand barefoot in the snow. While snow can help warm up a frozen limb (because the snow is actually warmer than the icy skin and helps draw out the cold [thank you, Boy Scouts]), standing barefoot in the snow is a bit ridiculous.
Or how about eating a mouse to cure a toothache? I'm sure that's fool proof.
The really fun thing has been all of the Google searches that have led me to new, weird, and interesting bits of information regarding many of the "cures" and "treatments" I've been sifting through. Some actually work. Like ginger tea for menstrual cramps. Or raspberry tea for a stomachache. Who knew? Others don't work (see above). Such as vinegar on a sunburn (ow). The acid makes it worse.
Google is awesome.
Anyway, it was a long, rather boring process, but it's finished now. Yay.
However...that assignment was a bit preferable to the one I'm currently working on. Get this: my new project is all of the files containing folklore relating to love, courtship, marriage, and other such topics. Currently, I'm going through all of the beliefs about dating: what to do, what not to do, what to eat, what charms and incantations to use to get someone to fall in love with you. Not that I'd ever do that. Silly. And wouldn't work. I mean, after all...remember what happened with Tom Riddle and Merope Gaunt? Not happy.
My mind has been full of big, frightening, unwanted thoughts. Questions have arisen that I've never allowed myself to dwell on before, and for a few days I've wrestled with answers that alternately make me laugh or terrify me (because I have nothing else to think about right now).
While reading my Democracy in America book by Alexis de Tocqueville (which was supposed to be completed last Friday -- hey, it's a big book), I ran across something that made me feel angry, silly, and relieved, but also more uncertain. Here Tocqueville quotes Pascal, French philosopher:
"To make a mistake by thinking the Christian religion is true is not a very great loss, but how unfortunate to make the mistake of believing it is false!"
Interesting thought, which somehow still doesn't satisfy the questions that have slipped their way into my head.
I spend a lot of time in my kitchen. Yes, I do the obvious things, like cook. This kitchen will forever be in my memory as "the place where I taught myself to make good food." So far even my mistakes have been successful -- like the sweet and tangy meatball sauce I made in the crock pot? Waaaaaay too much chili sauce, but it turned out quite well.
I clean a lot, too. Some friends say I clean so much that it's nigh unto an obsession. You know what, though? I like it clean. After all, since I do spend a lot of time cooking, I want to have a clean place to work. I also am haunted by the memory from when I worked on a custodial team at a middle school, and we were allowed to borrow a bacteria counter thing-a-ma-jig from an inspector. Our toilet seats had less bacteria on them than the school cafeteria tabletops. Oh. My. SICK.
Did I ever tell you that I dance in my kitchen? YouTube and Pandora are my friends. So is Justin Bieber. He hangs out with me a lot. Gives me tips on my moves. Actually, he doesn't, and I'm glad he can't see me dance because he'd probably laugh. I mean, once upon a time I was dancing in my bedroom when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and I stopped because I was embarrassed for myself. No mirrors in the kitchen!
Talking on the phone happens a lot here, too. I'm not generally one to sit in normal places, like on a chair or the couch or in bed, while on the phone. I find myself huddled in corners, perched on the banister, sprawled on the bar over the sink, seated on the closed toilet while fixing my nails, under the table -- my favorite place is the subtle nook-ish spot by the dishwasher. Or leaning against the fridge. Don't ask my why all of those places are appealing. It's weird. I know.
Studying, writing, and stalking keeping up with friends through the Internet are frequent occurrences, too (do you ever have words that you just cannot seem to spell correctly ever? occurrences -- took me three times to get it right. rhythm is the other one I can never seem to get right). Facebook, Pinterest, gMail, Blogger...you name it. Except Twitter. Boring. They don't even have a like button.
There are a lot of good talks in my kitchen. Lots of hilarious jokes, stories about people's lives, insights into personalities, confessions, ideas, advice. Shared experiences, usually between myself and one other person. Sometimes we share food, too, but the sharing of laughter, experiences, and trust are even better.
I talk to myself, too. What? Why are you looking me like that's weird? Because if you know me, you also know that I talk to myself. And you also know that I'm weird. But it's cool! We talked about talking to ourselves in my Anthropology language class. It's healthy. Unless, you know. You're actually crazy. I have a lot of good conversations with myself. Working out problems I can't solve silently, walking myself through recipes, making myself laugh (I'm funny). Singing, too. Singing happens here.
Tears fall here, too. Sometimes there's a reason for them. Other times they just fall.
Mary Wixom said that the "kitchen is the hub of the home." It's the heart of the bustle and commotion of life. It's where people meet after their busy days -- coming in from their spokes on the family wheel and settling in the center, the Hub. It's where we talk and share our experiences. It's where we slow down for a little while, taking a few moments to notice that we're not just getting things done and running around crazy. We're living.
I remembered to check the mail tonight for the first time in almost a week. I was expecting the usual, either an empty box or a bunch of items that would find a resting place in the bottom of the recycle bin.
Not so. Sitting on top of the expected pile of bills, magazines, and coupon books was a small envelope, a bit tattered and worn, with familiar handwriting scrawled across the front. Immediately, I recognized the script and had to restrain myself from ripping the envelope open to display the contents right then and there. I hope the neighbors weren't alarmed by the little victory dance and sudden outburst of tears that was displayed in front of the post boxes. There was nothing amiss. There was just a sudden rush of gratitude that I haven't been forgotten, a rush of gratitude and reassurance that was multiplied exponentially when I read the card tucked into the envelope.
"God definitely has a plan for each one of us, and sometimes things happen that we don't expect. But He loves us and everything He does is for our ultimate benefit."
All of the words meant so much, because each one was penned specifically for me (by a person who is very busy being a zone leader and teaching and being awesome). They were written in reference to my dad being diagnosed with cancer earlier this summer, but they apply to everything that has been going on lately: to my dad's illness, financial worries, friends' struggles, my sudden difficulty with health, school, work, relationships.
I'm so grateful for this reminder that things will be okay, and for the reminder that time and distance cannot separate true friendship.
For the last three weeks, Brianna and I have gotten together and watched one extended version of The Lord of the Rings on our afternoon off from work. This evening was the final installment of our adventure through Middle Earth, and we celebrated with kettle corn (we both may be little, but we sure can pack away a lot of popcorn) and dinner. Which was amazing. And easy. And from Pinterest (love). And foreign, too. To borrow words from Samwise Gamgee, "I don't usually hold with foreign food, but this Elvish stuff -- it's not bad!" Or, you know. Japanese stuff. Okonomiyaki, a savory Japanese pancake, literally means "as you like it." It's simple to make, quick to cook, fun to eat (because it's a pancake, but it's got sauce on it), and delicious to taste. Here's what you need:
1 cup flour 1 egg 1 – 2 cups fresh spinach/kale/nappa cabbage/ or your
green of choice [minced] 3/4 cup rice milk or water 1/4 tsp salt Okonomi sauce (or in our case Sweet & Sour sauce and Teriyaki sauce -- I have a major sweet tooth and liked the Sweet & Sour better, but they were both great)
This is your base recipe. Because this is an "as you like it" pancake, you can add whatever you want to the batter! Brianna and I added green onions and ham. Other stuff like garlic, potatoes, shrimp, fish, shallots, ginger, anything you want can be added in. After you've put in your tasties, do this:
1. Preheat pan with oil on medium heat (or do it after the batter is ready like I did)
2. Place all the batter ingredients into a bowl and stir until just combined-
do not over mix (I don't know how you'd over mix it, but that's what the directions said to not do so I figured I'd leave it in for you -- in case it's important, you know)
3. Pour a large pancake sized serving out onto your pan -- about half of the batter will make one good sized pancake
4. Add any additional toppings (or stir them into the batter before pouring into the pan -- then it all gets mixed together evenly)
5. Allow to cook thoroughly on both sides (3-5 minutes, depending on toppings),
add sauce of choice and serve while hot
Such a great meal. Pinterest wins again.
And The Return of the King is just a fabulous film. It's so well done, and the feeling that you get from it is rather incredible. I'll admit it, I was moved to tears by the loyalty and love that the characters feel for each other, and that the actors portrayed so marvelously.
Fantastic evening, I must say. The whole day was great -- productive and fun. And now it's raining. Very perfect.
I've noticed lately that the things I've been writing about have been
a) sad
b) depressing
c) negative
d) all of the above
If you circled "d" then you would be most correct.
After debating whether or not I should apologize, I realized that apologizing would be a little silly. Why apologize for being sincere about how you feel?
However, I do recognize that not all of life is as bad as it may seem. That and I'm trying to keep myself from being extremely irritated and frustrated with people. Short plug for being considerate: just do it. Please. Think about what you're doing and how it effects (affects?) others before you do it. Don't cut in line, rinse your dishes, stop at stop signs, say thank you, pull your weight as much as you can before letting someone do for you what you can do for yourself. Thanks.
Mini rant over. On to the next.
Last night I did something fun on a Friday night for the first time in awhile. I had planned to go to the gym after work, then make dinner, scrub the kitchen, clean my bathroom, read my book, and go to bed around 11:30. My plans totally changed when Linnea asked if I wanted to watch the last two episodes of Sherlock, season 2. How could I possibly say no?
We made a delicious dinner of chicken Parmesan wraps (Pinterest wins again) and cold watermelon, followed by kettle corn (yes -- I did eat a bag and a half by myself) and Snickerdoodles. Sherlock was delightful -- I was absolutely terrified during "The Hound of Baskervilles." I screamed at least four times. "The Reichenbach Fall" wasn't frightening, but it was very fun to be able to follow Sherlock's line of evidence. I was right with him every step of the case. Until, you know, Moriarty pulled that one stunt at the end (I may have screamed then, too).
A late night drive with Kala rounded up the festivities at about 2am. I took her with me when I dropped Linnea off at her home. Kala doesn't get out much, and she likes to go for rides in the car (and I was also glad to have her along to help me not imagine giant black hounds with red eyes tearing out of the bushes around the complex when I got back home).
Today was a good day, too. I woke up feeling very sad again, so I got dressed and went to work on the house. Bathroom scrubbed, kitchen counters and cabinets wiped down, floors swept and mopped, dishes done, laundry started, room straightened, meals prepped, stove top washed -- all in an hour and fifteen minutes. By then I realized I was hungry (that happens a lot now). Wash spinach and drain, rinse strawberries and slice, shred chicken, chop nuts, pour poppy seed dressing, toss together -- salad for eating! Let's just say it was delicious and I might make another tomorrow.
Work with Alyssa and Hannah was a blast. We got almost everything on Tracy's list completed (and mind you, there were about 20 items to do), accidentally ripped up the puzzle piece flooring with the weight of our candy laden carts, climbed up and down ladders hanging hats from the ceiling and stowing boxes of candy on shelves (each box weighs nearly 40 pounds -- carrying 20 of those up a ladder is quite the workout), and just worked hard in general. It's always great to have things to do during a shift, rather than standing around waiting for customers to come in and need help.
Hannah asked if she could come to my house after the shift was over. We ate cold watermelon and made chocolate milk with the Hershey's syrup I keep stowed away in the fridge. Kala kept us entertained with her old lady antics (she lacks manners in some cases), until we finally were laughing so hard we couldn't breath. Pretty soon we got to talking about how she's been doing lately, and then she started asking me questions about Garrett. Half an hour later I'd told her a lot of things I've been keeping back, and I felt badly that I'd spent so much time talking about myself. But she said something that made me feel really happy inside. She smiled and said, "I don't mind. I like to listen. It means that you trust me."
I do trust her. I trust her, and Alyssa, and Linnea -- they're coworkers, yes, but more importantly, they're my friends. We have fun, we have hard times, and we're there for each other when we need each other. And even if we don't need each other, we're there when we want company.
Things are okay. Life is still good. It's hard, and I'm still sad a lot and don't know why, but life is good. Walking through the parking lot tonight in the cool evening air, the night breeze sweet and fresh, the flowers curling into sleep, the stars peeking through the clouds, all I could think about was how good it feels to be alive.
"Remember today, little brother. Today, life is good." -Boromir, LOTR
In honor of post number 900 (wow -- where does the time go), I am supplying a list of how to be perfect.
Okay, so these won't make a person perfect, but I do like them. I read these in a post from distracted by shiny objects over at A Tidings of Magpies, and I copied down a few of the items on the list that I liked.
Excerpts from How to be Perfect by Ron Padgett:
Get some sleep.
Be friendly. It will help make you happy.
Hope for everything. Expect nothing.
Take care of things close to home first. Straighten up your room before you save the world. Then save the world.
Be nice to people before they have a chance to behave badly.
Wear comfortable shoes.
Do not spend too much time with large groups of people.
Plan your day so you never have to rush.
Show your appreciation to people who do things for you, even if you have paid them, even if they do favors you don't want.
After dinner, wash the dishes.
Calm down.
Don't expect your children to love you, so they can, if they want to.
Don't be too self-critical or too self-congratulatory.
Imagine what you would like to see happen, and then don't do anything to make it impossible.
Forgive your country every once in a while. If that is not possible, go to another one.
If you feel tired, rest.
Don't be depressed about growing older. It will make you feel even older. Which is depressing.
Do one thing at a time.
If you burn your finger, put ice on it immediately. If you bang your finger with a hammer, hold your hand in the air for 20 minutes. You will be surprised by the curative powers of ice and gravity.
Do not inhale smoke.
Take a deep breath.
Do not smart off to a policeman.
Be good.
Be honest with yourself, diplomatic with others.
Do not go crazy a lot. It's a waste of time.
Drink plenty of water. When asked what you would like to drink, say, "Water, please."
Take out the trash.
Love life.
Use exact change.
When there's shooting in the street, don't go near the window.
There's some good advice in there (particularly that last bullet). If doing some of these don't make you perfect, they'll at least help you feel happy, right?
And a personal "how to be perfect" from me: notice the little things, for the little things can hold more beauty than the grand.
I am officially moved into my new House, complete with awesome roommate Natalie and All-American dog Kala.
And yes, I did say House. Not apartment.House. Meaning there is an upstairs, a downstairs, and a basement. Four bathrooms, one unfinished at the moment. Three bedrooms upstairs (one being used for storage) and two in the basement (also being used for storage). Washer and dryer. Garage. The kitchen has tons of counter space, lots of cupboards, a dishwasher, fridge/freezer, microwave, oven/stove, pantry -- it's actually a kitchen. I mean, it is a House, after all. H-O-U-S-E.
Wait. It gets better. I have my own bedroom, and my own bathroom. The closet in my room is epic. I have my own shelf in the pantry with my own food, a shelf and a drawer in the fridge, and orange juice in the freezer (courtesy of my dad).
I've a ten minute walk to PartyLand. It's about four minutes more to the library. The parks are either five minutes or fifteen, depending on which direction you walk (unless you go to the neighborhood park, then it's two minutes tops). The other park and the gym are about eight minutes away. If I were to get a bicycle, I could reasonably get to the grocery store without needing a car as well (Natalie has one though, so carrying groceries back will be much easier).
But those things aren't the best parts. The best part is this: I am OUT. I'm on my own, answering to myself. I'm living well because I want to, not because I have to. And it feels so. Good. I have a friend who is more eloquent than I am, so I will use his words to describe this feeling:
"There is honestly no more affirming feeling than the one you get when you know your time is invested rather than spent... It's not that you have more freedom, (which you do) but it's that you have more liberty. By this I mean that you're able to do the things your parents would have wanted you to do in the first place, but now it's because it's what you want."
This is a dream come true, in more ways than one. Literally. I'll give you one example. Ever since I can remember, I've always dreamed of having the means to live in a house, rather than an apartment. Everyone (or almost everyone) always said I was crazy and naive and "good luck with that, sweetheart -- you'll get your wake up call soon enough."
Well. I woke up in a House today. Let's just say I skipped the apartment and went with the House instead.
So looking back at my posts and journal entries from the past 8 days, it was a hard week. Everything has been so stressful and scary, with the Move and the Beast and the internship. Then there's been all of the weirdness that happens in my own mind...I worry a lot (no way!). All of those things put together with being alone a lot of the time made for a rough few days.
HOWEVER. This weekend was absolutely the most wonderful weekend I've had in a long time.
Friday:
...went to Brianna's apartment for the first time and it was a bit of an adventure finding it...I was close though! Three doors down from the right one close.
...Brianna and I played with Misty and Molly for half an hour or so when we got to my house. The puppies love her lots! She's super cute with dogs -- I think she needs one.
...after playing with the dogs, we went through a bunch of stuff in my room. I don't know why it's easier for me to make decisions when there's someone else in the same room, even if we're not talking much. I guess it comes back down to being alone vs. being with a friend. We got rid of so much stuff! A whole box full of books, clothes, shoes, old toys, and other things went to DI, and a big garbage bag was tossed into the bin outside.
...shout out to Brianna -- she's the best friend a girl could ask for. Seriously. I don't think I've ever met a kinder, more generous, helpful, loving person in my life. Love you, pretty lady! Choir-chica-sistas for life!
...Ann came over too! And since it was National Doughnut Day (see? there are so many awesome, random holidays -- remember June 2), we braved the crazy Krispy Kreme parking lot and the even crazier line to get a dozen doughnuts. In honor of the day, the store gave every customer one free doughnut. I saw one with red, white, and blue sprinkles and, well...I had to have it. And by the way, if you ever get a chance to try a key lime pie doughnut, DO IT.
...doughnut purchase was followed by Del Taco purchase. Um...way better than Taco Bell. It actually tastes good in your mouth and not just in your imagination.
...Ann received a new nickname. She's Churro Snob, because she'll only willingly eat a churro from Disneyland (where she's going next week for her birthday -- lucky duck).
...Muppet Treasure Island watching began. Ann and I sang along -- we both know almost all of the words to every song. And all of the lines. Is that sad or epic?
...shout out to Ann -- she is such a fun, adventurous thing, and I'm so lucky to have her in my life! Carrots forever!
...found out that Parker would be in town for the weekend! And it was HIS idea to do something before he left. Not mine. SO. EXCITED. It was dumb how excited I was, but who cares. When one of your closest friends is 5 and a half hours away and you haven't seen him in over a month, it's okay to be silly and giddy.
Saturday:
...though I didn't get to bed until 2am, I fell asleep!! Until TEN. So great.
...$22 in tips at the snow shack. One guy came with his girlfriend and his girlfriend's 4 little siblings, and he tipped me 25% of his bill and thanked me for being so patient. They were probably the least problematic customers I've ever had! They were all so super nice. Then another lady recognized me because I look so much like my mom, and she tipped me nicely too. And another guy who only said what size he wanted and the flavor tipped me well also. It was a pretty good day.
...almost literally ran into Taylor Otteson outside the snow shack. It's been forever since I've seen him! Wow...home from his mission and running his own landscaping business and going to the Y. We're all growing up.
...the new clothes that I got fit perfectly! Two skirts, a dress, two lacy blouses, a sweater (I told myself I wouldn't buy anymore sweaters, but it always ends up happening -- I should never shop when I'm cold...like that's going to ever happen), a flower print top, and a white peasant blouse with blue embroidery. Happy girl!
...my outfit yesterday night? It was pretty cute, if I do say so myself.
...the play that I went to with my family was kind of boring, but the costumes were really cool. I got to talk to one of the actors after the show, who I've met before through a mutual friend, and we talked about LDC and stuff. I dunno if I should go back next year...
...HE CALLED ME!!!
...met up with Parker, Roland, and their friend Emily at Yogurtland, and then Parker told me that I'd have to see The Avengers 8 times instead of 7 because that's what we were going to do. And so we did.
...watching The Avengers with someone who hasn't seen it is so much fun. Parker was laughing his head off! He's great to watch movies with, because his reactions are hilarious. It was really great to hear him laugh and to see him smile so much. He looks a lot happier than he was before he left.
...may I just say that I hate saying good-bye? But this good-bye wasn't so bad. Being wrapped up in a giant hug, hearing somebody else say that he misses you, and you can tell he means it. Then being reassured that you'll get to talk soon, and that he'll be back in a month. And then, as you walk away, he looks back at the same time you do (that's never happened before -- it was really cool). That's not a bad good-bye. That's a happy good-bye. More of a see ya later.
...shout out to Parker -- I am SO grateful to have him as a friend. My coworkers often comment on what an odd pairing we are, but you know, we really aren't that odd. We just love each other. It happens sometimes.
Sunday:
...I slept again! Yes!
...helped teach the music in Singing Time today -- it was kind of fun to stand up in front of all the kids and help them learn the song.
...my class was AWESOME today. They were so reverent, and so helpful. I had two classes, mine and another teacher's, so I had ten children in all. It was absolutely wonderful. I haven't loved teaching Primary as much as I did today. They were just so GOOD. They're always good, but today was amazing. I love those kidlets.
...Regan, one of the little girls, came up to explain her picture that she drew. Here is what she said:
"I have a friend named Nick, and we love each other, but it won't work
out yet because he's 15 so we made chocolate pudding and he loves me."
Regan, my love -- you are five years old. Don't try to grow up too fast, okay?
...3 hour nap, blueberry bagels, lack of useless stuff in my room, yay!
...played with Molly and Misty for a little while. Here is Misty's status update (yeah, my dog has a Facebook -- it's a long story):
"So this one time I was just laying on the floor in Georgie's room,
minding my own business, and out of NOWHERE this other dog flew off the bed
behind me and landed right on top of me. I swear she did it on purpose. #ughSOMETIMES..."
It was hilarious. I almost think that Molly aimed...
...Kelly Clarkson's song "Dark Side" = OH. EM. GEE. It's almost like she took my life and wrote a song about it. Guys...Kelly must read my blog! Haha, just kidding.
I'll admit it. This song brought me to tears. And all I can say is...
WOW.
This was a bit of a long recap...and no pictures. If you made it this far, you are awesome. If you didn't, you're still awesome -- you just don't know about it because you're not reading this. Heehee!
This theory project (I call it the Beast) is just one frustration after another. Luckily it isn't officially due until next Friday. A completed draft is expected tomorrow, but as my professor put hypothetical quotation marks around the word completed and then said to at least "bring stuff," I'm inclined to take him very seriously.
It's all just frustrating. Finding enough time to get things all finished is ridiculously difficult (two jobs, the internship, other homework from the same class, maybe getting some sleep, trying to stay on top of the Move stuff). So is getting things to work out on the blog (that's what my project format is). No matter how I try to get it to work, the formatting gets messed up. I'll probably have to retype everything into each post because copy-paste isn't behaving. I even tried editing the HTML, but no go.
And so here I am, surrounded by books, papers, pens, stacks of notes, cords for technological things, my school bag, and my sketchbook (which I no longer sketch in). I've got 60 pages of reading to do before class tomorrow, plus messing with my project blog. Sleeping isn't a very good option anymore (8 hours over the course of the last two nights -- not because I haven't tried to sleep, but because when I do go to bed I just lay awake -- even the sleeping pill I took last night didn't help much). Despite not sleeping, I don't feel particularly tired. Just stressed out and frustrated and rather sad.
Happily, tomorrow is Friday. I'm going to play with Brianna and Ann for a little while, and get more work done on the Beast.
Brown out...that was scary. Oh, and do you ever get lines from movies stuck in your head? Or scenes of movies that just replay over and over again? When it happens to me, they're usually the most random, unimportant scenes. Like the one that's currently playing through my brain. It's from (three guesses) Captain America, when the stage manager of the USO show is searching through the dressing room and yells, "Has anybody seen Rogers!"
Yes, I punctuated the question with an exclamation mark, because the man doesn't use any inflection that signifies a question.
So obscure. Whatever. It's fine.
PS I say "Whatever. It's fine." so much that the tutors in the writing center said they want to make me a t-shirt with the phrase on it. I'm not sure that's a good thing...
You are all probably aware how easily obsessed I get with things. Take Adele. No I'm not obsessed with her as a person/artist, but some of her songs have become a bit of an obsession. Like "Rumor Has It." O-em-gee seriously much.
I like music that speaks. The rhythm, the beat, the vocals, the instruments -- I like pieces that have a voice. I know that a lot of people don't like Adele's work, and there are some songs that I don't particularly like. Others though...they're the kind of songs that call for near speaker blow out with the car windows rolled down, or for singing your heart out alone in your bedroom.
I like music that makes me feel. Be it happiness or sadness or frustration or giddiness or heartbreak, I like songs that channel emotion and thought, whether through the lyrics or the musicality or both. Sometimes I wish I were as brave as music helps me to be...sometimes I wish I could take the thoughts and feelings aroused by a song and hold onto them for awhile...to carry those feelings over into "20 seconds of courage"...to act.
"Rumor Has It" is one of those songs that does it for me right now. Blasting it in my room, dancing around the piles of organized disaster on the floor, singing as loud as I can, feeling and thinking and being the girl I wish I was brave enough to be when people are watching. It's a song you can feel -- I like that.
Guy in my Humanities class: "You just like the Sherlock series because of his curly dark hair. All the girls love that." Reply: "No. I just like the way he holds his gun."
Stats professor: "I should never ask questions on Monday mornings."
Humanities professor: "You can't disagree with a General Authority. That's starting an argument with God!"
From family:
Amanda: "So we were talking about Afrighanistan in class yesterday..." Interuption: "Afrighanistan? Do you mean Afghanistan?" Amanda: "What, you mean I've been saying it wrong my entire life?!"
Amanda: "Whenever I squish a Skittle it turns into a shape like an FUO...wait...no! I meant UFO!"
And last but not least...
From Primary:
Little girl talking about how excited her little brother is that her mom is going to have another little boy...finally: "Now he won't be the lone man in the garden of estrogen."
6-year-old boy: "I don't want to get married." Another 6-year-old boy: "Yeah. It looks stupid. All that work for dumb kids like us. Adults are crazy."
I had some pretty good laughs in Sharing Time today. I swear, kids say the cutest things. It makes me glad that I get to be a Primary teacher.
Teacher displaying a picture of an apostle on the board: "Who is this a picture of?" Little girl: "Abraham Lincoln."
Actually...it was Boyd K. Packer. Good try, hon!
Teacher: "Who is the president?" Little boy: "Obama is, but we better get Romney this time."
She meant the president of the church, but considering the little guy's parents, it's an easy mistake to make. Chip off the old block, he is, haha!
Music leader: "Do you have a question?" Little girl: "No, I just wanted to point out that I noticed that in the first two lines of this song, the last two words, well...they're homophones. 'Hear' and 'here.' See it?"
