one month...

Until my high school best friend comes home.

The guy who made me laugh.
The guy who made me cry -- because I was laughing so hard.
The guy who took me to Homecoming junior year and now associates me with the color brown (dress).
The guy who helped our friend ask me to Prom to make absolutely certain I would get to go.
The guy who held me when my heart got broken.
The guy who took me to a dance when I was having a bad day.
The guy who forgot to pick me up for three hours and then bought us ice cream.
The guy who biked to my house in the rain dressed as a clown when I was sick to cheer me up.
The guy who fought with me about random stuff.
The guy who shot me over and over with Nerf guns.
The guy who locked me in a closet.
The guy who brought eggnog, Kit Kats, and fuzzy socks to my house at 11:30 at night when I was sad.
The guy who stole my car keys, my shoes, my phone, and my car, all in one afternoon.
The guy who quoted movie lines with me for hours.
The guy who taught me that I was beautiful.

I couldn't have made it through high school without him.

One month. Can't wait!

ran across this tonight...

While looking through old photos on Facebook, I ran across my video folder and found this little gem from over a year ago.

Once upon a time, my sister Amanda and my best friend Jordan decided to have an orange juice chugging contest (at my suggestion -- but I didn't think they'd really do it).


I miss that kid.

9 months to go (SO freaky weird)!

because I checked the mail box...

I remembered to check the mail tonight for the first time in almost a week. I was expecting the usual, either an empty box or a bunch of items that would find a resting place in the bottom of the recycle bin.

Not so. Sitting on top of the expected pile of bills, magazines, and coupon books was a small envelope, a bit tattered and worn, with familiar handwriting scrawled across the front. Immediately, I recognized the script and had to restrain myself from ripping the envelope open to display the contents right then and there. I hope the neighbors weren't alarmed by the little victory dance and sudden outburst of tears that was displayed in front of the post boxes. There was nothing amiss. There was just a sudden rush of gratitude that I haven't been forgotten, a rush of gratitude and reassurance that was multiplied exponentially when I read the card tucked into the envelope.

"God definitely has a plan for each one of us, and sometimes things happen that we don't expect. But He loves us and everything He does is for our ultimate benefit."

All of the words meant so much, because each one was penned specifically for me (by a person who is very busy being a zone leader and teaching and being awesome). They were written in reference to my dad being diagnosed with cancer earlier this summer, but they apply to everything that has been going on lately: to my dad's illness, financial worries, friends' struggles, my sudden difficulty with health, school, work, relationships.

I'm so grateful for this reminder that things will be okay, and for the reminder that time and distance cannot separate true friendship.

weekend...

I made callbacks for the show. I did not get cast. I'm trying not to be upset about it anymore. Being honest, though, it's really hard to accept that the directors considered me "head and shoulders" above everyone else in all but one area. My mom is on the production team for one of the shows that I tried out for, so she told me what happened. It got down to me and one other girl for a role, and even though I was proficient in every single area but the one she was good at, they cast her. Why? She's a theater major. I'm an American Studies major. Should have seen that one coming.

I'll get over it. I probably won't be trying out for anything at the Y ever again though. What's the point if they're going to pick a theater major for all of the plays, dance majors for all of the dance teams, and music majors for all of the choirs? It's hard to be told that you're fantastic, and a "first choice," then be shunted aside for someone who is in the department.

Understandable, really. But it doesn't feel very good.

The other most memorable, less disappointing thing of the weekend: guess who got a letter today? This girl did. My dad actually drove over to my work and gave me the letter because he knew how excited it would make me. I have the greatest dad ever. And he was right. I just about threw the box I was holding into the air, I was so out of my mind happy.

Elder Raddatz is doing well. He said that General Conference was awesome (which made me feel slightly guilty because I didn't catch any of it), and that he and his companion have gotten in contact with two new people who are very interested in our church. It's really great!

Jordan is doing so awesome out there! Every time I talk to his mom she has stories about how well things are going in Jordan's area. He's a busy guy! It's nice that he took the time to write to me. And I love that he still addresses all of the letters with the nickname his little sister came up with for me. Makes the letters even more special, you know?

Wow, I miss him. I need to start working on his birthday present. Any ideas for me?

PS "Once Upon a Time" is just annoying. I caught up on the episodes I've missed and the show just bugs me. So why do I watch it? I honestly do not know. Meh.

lookin' back: 2011...

Wow. I can't believe the year is over! It went by so incredibly fast, I'm not even sure what happened in 2011 and what didn't! Thankfully I have thousands of pictures in seasonally categorized folders on my computer...if one picture is worth a thousand words, how many words are a thousand pictures worth? Hm...

LDC had Spring Retreat at the beginning of the year. This is my family group, the Dis-Harmonizers! We were the coolest anti-super hero group ever.


Meghan and Amanda performed in their first ever MVHS choir fundraising concert. It was really great to go back to my high school to see all of my still in high school buddies perform, and to see my sisters be spotlighted in each of their numbers.


Institute Date Night! I've made so many good friends through LDC and through Institute. It's been a huge blessing in my life.


Brianna, Shelby, and I got to go to a session of General Conference at the Conference Center. It was a grand adventure, complete with riding the Trax train. "What is that? It's the wrong shape for a bullet hole..." Good times!!


I graduated from UVU! Associate's Degree, baby! It wasn't a super huge deal, but it was a really great accomplishment for me.


LDC performed our spring show, The Family: A Musical Proclamation. This is the show that we were invited to perform in the Conference Center at Temple Square. It was a really amazing experience, to be able to work with professional sound and light crews, a real live stage manager, and to have a fully functioning stage to perform on. I loved every minute of it. Dream come true, to perform on that stage!


Choir tour!


One time Meghan forgot to get a group together for Morp. Adam and I helped her out by going as a second couple, even though we'd graduated a year before.


Jordan and Meghan...Peter Pan and Wendy.


Institute on parade!


Manti Pageant with my sisters and Jenni. It has always been one of my absolute favorite things to do in the summer. I'm so glad we got to go this year! It was the first time in nearly 3 years, and it was a total blast. Thanks to dad for driving us down and hanging out with all of us girls!


New job! Super fun.


Natalie's birthday adventure!


July brought saying good-bye to my best friend Jordan. He is currently serving in the Independence, Missouri mission, Spanish speaking. I honestly don't know where I would be without this kid. I love you, Elder Raddatz!!


The final installment of HARRY freakin' POTTER! Midnight showing, of course.


Summer vacation part one: the ZOO. Where we actually belong.


Summer vacation part two: LAGOON. Where only half of our family belongs...the rest get sick (myself included).


Summer vacation part three: GRANDMA'S HOUSE!! EVERYONE belongs at grandma's house.


A new year of LDC: new friends, new music, new experiences, same Spirit. This is a picture from fall retreat. White Power! I mean...uh...yeah. Try coming up with a cheer when you're the white group! It all comes out sounding racist.


Carrots and Choir Chica Sista, my two best girls. I love them so, so much. From heartbreak to hyperness, they've been there for me every step of the way this semester. BFF's!


LDC presents Mulan! Well...sort of.


On a whim I bought a fish. I named him Leonardo. Leonardo DiFishy.



Insert imaginary photo of new job at PartyLand!



Halloween!!


Fall photoshoot courtesy of Michelle. They're kind of super late senior pictures combined with pictures to use for audition packets. Thank you, Michelle!


Another photoshoot courtesy of Michelle. It was so great to be able to take pictures of all three of us together! Usually I'm the one behind the camera when it's me and my sisters, so this was great. Merry Christmas, mom and dad!


We got a dog and named her Molly. She's a gremlin. Seriously.


LDC performed with Michael McLean in The Forgotten Carols. It was an amazing experience.


Christmas-ing with Carrots at Blickenstaff's!


We're elves. You know...Christmas elves. Santa's little helpers.


It was a Charlie Brown Christmas.


LDC performed our Christmas show, A Silent Night. All of that music and the words came to mean a lot to me by the end of the run. It was a great experience, despite being strangely difficult for me personally. I'm really glad I have those memories.


Chillin' with the Eggletts, Brother and Sister Eggett's children. They are so stinkin' adorable! And all of them are so very kind. I love them!

missionary care package...

I finally got Jordan's Christmas package ready and sent. It won't get there until next Thursday, but at least it will get there, right? Last night my family and I wrote him letters and put them into a big box with some of the things I'd already gathered for him. Today I went to the store and found some more goodies to put inside the box for him and his companion. For Jordan there were two ties (since those are the only things that a missionary can really change), a journal, a CD of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir hymns, and several letters. For him and his companion there were two Christmas goodie bags, a box full of peppermint candies, suckers, and candy canes, and two bags of Hershey's kisses (with a note saying "Use wisely-they're the only ones you're gonna get!"). And the best part? See for yourself:



Peppermint forget-me-stick. How genius is that? It's freakin' huge! I was pretty excited about that. Thought I'd share the joy with you. :)

gratitude...

I am grateful for a friend who, upon finding out that I hadn't been asked to the Institute dance on Friday, offered to take me even though dancing isn't really his thing.

I am grateful for coworkers who never cease to make me laugh, and not just at their jokes. They are teaching me to laugh at myself.

I am grateful for the loyal, kind, sincere women in my life who are and are becoming the best friends I have ever (and probably will ever) have.

I am grateful for the lessons I learn from the children I am privileged to associate with, and for the love that they give without question or hesitation.

I am grateful for a friend who let me call him on the phone just to have his company because I ended up not being able to talk at all through the tears.

I am grateful for missionary friends who take the time out of their busy, busy, busy lives to write me a letter.

I am grateful for a dad who rearranges his entire day's schedule to take me to a movie with him.

I am grateful for a teacher who knows that there are more important things than singing well; the most important thing is to live well.

I am grateful for a mom who has continually given up her schooling to take care of her family, but she never gave up enough to not go back (she'll earn her degree in a year and a half).

I am grateful for a little dog who wakes me up every morning at 8am by scratching on my bedroom door because she doesn't want to be alone after everyone else has left for work and school, then jumps up onto my bed and cuddles up next to me.

I am grateful for sisters who do their best to be their best in every situation or setting they are found in, be it work, school, rehearsal, church, home, or hanging out with their friends.

day 61...

a picture of myself and a description of my day...

Today was my best friend Jordan's mission farewell. He leaves for the Missionary Training Center (MTC) on Wednesday afternoon, where he will stay for about 9 weeks. After that, he heads out to Independence, Missouri, where he will complete his 2-year mission for the LDS church.

As for how the day went, it was emotional. Or more like I was trying very hard not to be emotional, for Jordan's sake and for his family. I spent the afternoon in the kitchen for the most part, making salads and keeping all of the platters and bowls full for his family and friends. It was good to be helping, and to be behind the scenes. I've never sent off a really close friend before. It is much harder than I expected it would be.

2 years. It seems like so much more time now than it did when Jordan and I would talk about his mission when we were in high school. It was almost like it would never happen, that he'd actually leave.

Tonight we said good-bye, and that's that. In three days he'll be gone. Jordan will be an incredible missionary. I'm so glad that he gets to do this. But to be honest...

I miss him already.