Yup. The big double two -- and let me tell you, it was a good birthday MONTH in January, not just day. I finally got my dream party:
Birthday bowling...
in semi-formal attire!
My lovely ginger girls, Ann and Tatijanna
Friends! Kayla, Ben, Adam, Ben, and Chelsie
More friends! Jason, Tatijanna, Tony, A.J., and Ryan
Even MORE friends! Tyler, Bryan, Laura, Ben, and Jerry
This photo sums up our entire friendship
My Kayla girl -- here's to five years of friendship!
Our manly men -- Adam, Kevin (check out his tux!), Tanner, and Bryan
And because I wanted mashed potatoes, they took me to Chili's -- Ryan, Tony, Tatijanna, Ann, Adam, A.J., Bryan, and Tanner --
not pictured are Laura, Princess, and Jason
In short, it was an excellent birthday. I was so surprised to see that many people come and be all dressed up. It was so much fun.
Oh, and I almost forgot. Here's the best part:
Birthday flash mob in a bowling alley -- what could be better? I'm super lucky.
That awkward moment when one second you're singing "Come Thou Fount" and the next you're staring up at dozens of concerned faces over your head.
Yeah. I passed out in choir today. I'm not really sure what happened. No, I didn't lock my knees -- I've been singing since I was four-years-old, so I'm well aware of that no-no. As a matter of fact, I actually sat down for a whole five minutes due to a sudden headache before I hit the floor. I made it through maybe the first line and a half of the first verse after standing up...not entirely sure when I lost consciousness.
Thankfully, Amber caught me on my way down (according to reports from bystanders). Between her, Jason the EMT, and Jamie the Lifeguard, I was in pretty capable hands (har-har). Dad did drag me to the doctor, which I resent a little bit, and as usual, it was determined that nothing is wrong with me.
I'm probably just super stressed. Not to mention the stress has been amplified because I lost a whole afternoon and evening of homework time, and my first 12-page paper is due on Thursday at 1:30. It's the history paper that my professor said will be graded according to a higher standard than my classmates because I'm brilliant.
Well. I hope she likes disappointment, because the best I can do is much less than I had anticipated. Which is frustrating. I hate, hate, hate doing mediocre work.
That awkward moment when you and your ex-fiance plan a couple's costume entirely by accident.
Peter Pan and Peter Pan's Shadow
Upon discovery two days before the LDC Halloween party to which you are both going, you just deal with it and get matching fairy dust, because at that point it's too much of a hassle to make other plans.
And in case you're wondering, I did let my friends talk me into experiencing the haunted house. Honestly, it was less of a haunted house and more an amalgamation of every creepy building and landscape you could hope to walk through. Luckily for me, Adam was attentive to the fact that I was so scared that I was about to pass out from lack of oxygen -- I now know why young men are so keen to take young ladies to these places. Add that to my List of Things I'm Never Doing Again.
That might have been the best LDC Halloween extravaganza to date. Just saying.
Technically, I'm no longer a member of the Orem Institute of Religion. I'm a BYU student and all that lovely jazz. HOWEVER...once a member of Institute, ALWAYS a member of Institute. Which is why I wanted to walk in the parade with my friends. And it was AWESOME (despite being one of the windiest experiences of my life -- 45 degrees in June with a wind chill of about 15 degrees -- yup, it was cold)!!
HURRAH for Institute!!
FLOAT!
I love these people (Amanda, Matt, Sean, Charmaigne)
Laura, Brittany, and Shelby -- LOVE these girls
Geraldine, Sean, Preston, Lane, Chris, Carolyn
We're just waiting for him. No big deal.
Kevin -- one of the funniest people you will ever meet.
Joseph Smith = One of my heroes
Laura's long hair + WIND STORM + no hair tie + duct tape + ingenuity = duct tape hair tie for Laura's long hair during a WIND STORM
(one of my more genius ideas)
So looking back at my posts and journal entries from the past 8 days, it was a hard week. Everything has been so stressful and scary, with the Move and the Beast and the internship. Then there's been all of the weirdness that happens in my own mind...I worry a lot (no way!). All of those things put together with being alone a lot of the time made for a rough few days.
HOWEVER. This weekend was absolutely the most wonderful weekend I've had in a long time.
Friday:
...went to Brianna's apartment for the first time and it was a bit of an adventure finding it...I was close though! Three doors down from the right one close.
...Brianna and I played with Misty and Molly for half an hour or so when we got to my house. The puppies love her lots! She's super cute with dogs -- I think she needs one.
...after playing with the dogs, we went through a bunch of stuff in my room. I don't know why it's easier for me to make decisions when there's someone else in the same room, even if we're not talking much. I guess it comes back down to being alone vs. being with a friend. We got rid of so much stuff! A whole box full of books, clothes, shoes, old toys, and other things went to DI, and a big garbage bag was tossed into the bin outside.
...shout out to Brianna -- she's the best friend a girl could ask for. Seriously. I don't think I've ever met a kinder, more generous, helpful, loving person in my life. Love you, pretty lady! Choir-chica-sistas for life!
...Ann came over too! And since it was National Doughnut Day (see? there are so many awesome, random holidays -- remember June 2), we braved the crazy Krispy Kreme parking lot and the even crazier line to get a dozen doughnuts. In honor of the day, the store gave every customer one free doughnut. I saw one with red, white, and blue sprinkles and, well...I had to have it. And by the way, if you ever get a chance to try a key lime pie doughnut, DO IT.
...doughnut purchase was followed by Del Taco purchase. Um...way better than Taco Bell. It actually tastes good in your mouth and not just in your imagination.
...Ann received a new nickname. She's Churro Snob, because she'll only willingly eat a churro from Disneyland (where she's going next week for her birthday -- lucky duck).
...Muppet Treasure Island watching began. Ann and I sang along -- we both know almost all of the words to every song. And all of the lines. Is that sad or epic?
...shout out to Ann -- she is such a fun, adventurous thing, and I'm so lucky to have her in my life! Carrots forever!
...found out that Parker would be in town for the weekend! And it was HIS idea to do something before he left. Not mine. SO. EXCITED. It was dumb how excited I was, but who cares. When one of your closest friends is 5 and a half hours away and you haven't seen him in over a month, it's okay to be silly and giddy.
Saturday:
...though I didn't get to bed until 2am, I fell asleep!! Until TEN. So great.
...$22 in tips at the snow shack. One guy came with his girlfriend and his girlfriend's 4 little siblings, and he tipped me 25% of his bill and thanked me for being so patient. They were probably the least problematic customers I've ever had! They were all so super nice. Then another lady recognized me because I look so much like my mom, and she tipped me nicely too. And another guy who only said what size he wanted and the flavor tipped me well also. It was a pretty good day.
...almost literally ran into Taylor Otteson outside the snow shack. It's been forever since I've seen him! Wow...home from his mission and running his own landscaping business and going to the Y. We're all growing up.
...the new clothes that I got fit perfectly! Two skirts, a dress, two lacy blouses, a sweater (I told myself I wouldn't buy anymore sweaters, but it always ends up happening -- I should never shop when I'm cold...like that's going to ever happen), a flower print top, and a white peasant blouse with blue embroidery. Happy girl!
...my outfit yesterday night? It was pretty cute, if I do say so myself.
...the play that I went to with my family was kind of boring, but the costumes were really cool. I got to talk to one of the actors after the show, who I've met before through a mutual friend, and we talked about LDC and stuff. I dunno if I should go back next year...
...HE CALLED ME!!!
...met up with Parker, Roland, and their friend Emily at Yogurtland, and then Parker told me that I'd have to see The Avengers 8 times instead of 7 because that's what we were going to do. And so we did.
...watching The Avengers with someone who hasn't seen it is so much fun. Parker was laughing his head off! He's great to watch movies with, because his reactions are hilarious. It was really great to hear him laugh and to see him smile so much. He looks a lot happier than he was before he left.
...may I just say that I hate saying good-bye? But this good-bye wasn't so bad. Being wrapped up in a giant hug, hearing somebody else say that he misses you, and you can tell he means it. Then being reassured that you'll get to talk soon, and that he'll be back in a month. And then, as you walk away, he looks back at the same time you do (that's never happened before -- it was really cool). That's not a bad good-bye. That's a happy good-bye. More of a see ya later.
...shout out to Parker -- I am SO grateful to have him as a friend. My coworkers often comment on what an odd pairing we are, but you know, we really aren't that odd. We just love each other. It happens sometimes.
Sunday:
...I slept again! Yes!
...helped teach the music in Singing Time today -- it was kind of fun to stand up in front of all the kids and help them learn the song.
...my class was AWESOME today. They were so reverent, and so helpful. I had two classes, mine and another teacher's, so I had ten children in all. It was absolutely wonderful. I haven't loved teaching Primary as much as I did today. They were just so GOOD. They're always good, but today was amazing. I love those kidlets.
...Regan, one of the little girls, came up to explain her picture that she drew. Here is what she said:
"I have a friend named Nick, and we love each other, but it won't work
out yet because he's 15 so we made chocolate pudding and he loves me."
Regan, my love -- you are five years old. Don't try to grow up too fast, okay?
...3 hour nap, blueberry bagels, lack of useless stuff in my room, yay!
...played with Molly and Misty for a little while. Here is Misty's status update (yeah, my dog has a Facebook -- it's a long story):
"So this one time I was just laying on the floor in Georgie's room,
minding my own business, and out of NOWHERE this other dog flew off the bed
behind me and landed right on top of me. I swear she did it on purpose. #ughSOMETIMES..."
It was hilarious. I almost think that Molly aimed...
...Kelly Clarkson's song "Dark Side" = OH. EM. GEE. It's almost like she took my life and wrote a song about it. Guys...Kelly must read my blog! Haha, just kidding.
I'll admit it. This song brought me to tears. And all I can say is...
WOW.
This was a bit of a long recap...and no pictures. If you made it this far, you are awesome. If you didn't, you're still awesome -- you just don't know about it because you're not reading this. Heehee!
One time last week Emily organized a surprise party for her hubby's birthday. Theme: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Instructions: Arrive 30 minutes early in full ninja turtle attire. I was happy to oblige.
NINJA TURTLE POWAH
Brianna and I are awesome.
Hottest turtles on the planet.
FELIZ CUMPLEANOS ROBERTO!!! PS Your wife is gorgeous.
"What happens to me when I'm provoked is that I get tongue-tied and my mind goes blank. Then, then I spend all night tossing and turning trying to figure out what I should have said."
"...I must warn you that when you finally have the pleasure of saying the thing you mean to say at the moment you mean to say it, remorse inevitably follows."
-Kathleen Kelly and Joe Fox, You've Got Mail
Have you ever been so sick and tired of hearing the same sort of comment regarding the same things in your life that you accidentally let slip a rather unkind, judgemental blurt of your own? Well. I did tonight. Now I feel absolutely terrible for it.
I went to a Sunday dinner for previous and present LDC members at Preston's apartment tonight. It was to celebrate Cinco de Mayo in February...not sure how that works but I was totally up for it. How could I miss a chance to see my buddies? After spending an hour (I kid you not, an hour) trying to find the place and getting horribly lost I got there half an hour late. I walked in the door and was engulfed in hugs. Then the questions started, "How do you like school?" "Why did you leave the choir?!" "What's going on your life now?" and the like. Feeling frazzled after being lost for an hour and then arriving so late (I hate being late) I answered them as quickly as I could, gradually getting back into the swing of the loud, happy LDC crowd.
One of the girls asked me why I went to BYU. I told her about the program I'm going into, American Studies. She asked me what I was going to do with the degree, and I told her I was going to use it as a background for a Master's Degree in Library Science or Museum Curatorship. Out of nowhere, the guy sitting next to her threw his hands up in the air and said, "I can't believe how many girls are getting Master's Degrees! What a waste, it makes me sick!"
What I should have done was ignore him, but no. No, I couldn't do that. Immediately my frustrations rose to the surface. It was the same sort of ignorant, belittling, small-minded, sexist comment I had been faced with for months and months. 8 out of 10 times (not exaggerating -- It happens ALL the time) my goals and dreams come up in a conversation, some man thinks it necessary to pop off, always basing value on gender. I can do just as much as a man can! I'm just as capable and intelligent! Up until this point I have always, always ignored them or changed the subject, then vented to a friend or a family member, or written it down and slammed the book shut. But tonight I was done with it.
Before I even thought I replied, "Wow. I don't like you already and I don't even know you."
Um...jerk much? Yeah. How do you recover from that kind of rudeness? We didn't even know each others' names. The look on his face...he was definitely shocked. I didn't dare look at my friends' faces to see their reactions.
And so, the past few hours have been spent replaying the situation again and again in my head, mentally berating myself for my stupidity. If I'd just kept my mouth shut, for crying out loud. Nope. Jerk. *facepalm*
I've been feeling very lonely lately. It's been so, so hard to leave LDC. I can't tell you how many times I've dreamed that I've been back in the choir. It always starts out just like it used to be, all of my dear friends there yelling across the room to one another, laughing and giving Mike fits trying to get them to calm down. And then they start to sing, and I don't know any of the songs. I don't know the notes or the words. Brother Eggett ends up kicking me out, telling me not to come back.
I can't tell you how many times I've cried myself to sleep this semester, if I've even slept at all. The transition hasn't been terribly difficult, but difficult enough that it isn't easy.
Tonight I was feeling sorry for myself, stressing out about my Statistics exam tomorrow and a paper that's due, and wishing with all my heart that somebody would think of me. I was feeling alone and forgotten, because so many times I've tried to keep in touch with people and have received no reply.
I was frustrated and feeling downright left behind, even though I was aware of the people who I do have in my life. So then I started to feel bad because I'm a selfish brat. Then I started to think of ways I could continue to let people know I care about them...and then I realized that I don't have a lot of time to do that anymore, and the things I have done lately have always ended with silence from the other end.
Then, out of the blue, one of the LDC boys, Jeff, sent me a text inviting me to his birthday party. He said it wouldn't be a big deal, just a few friends hanging out at his place. For me, though, it was a huge deal. He probably will never know how much I appreciated it. I literally dumped my homework on the floor, got re-dressed, and rushed out the door without putting on any make-up whatsoever because I was so excited. It was only an hour, but seeing a few of those dear people was absolutely wonderful. And hugs! So many hugs.
A couple of hours later, I received another text message from an LDC girl, Allie, who I love with all my heart. I read the message and felt two things: heartbreak that I can't be in the choir anymore and complete gratitude that she had thought of me. She probably has no idea how much that means to me right now, for someone to think of me. It's amazing how something as simple as a kind word can help you to find the courage to keep moving forward.
To you two wonderful people: thank you. You were both answers to prayer.
Before I write anything else, let me say this: I know that there is a ton of beauty and goodness in this world. I see it every day. It's there, it's tangible, and it's easy to see if you are willing to look for it.
Lately the good has been tinged with feelings of sadness. There are a couple of reasons for this. First is that because of the time it takes to keep up with all of my classes, and because of the number of hours I need at work, I had to leave LDC.
The decision to leave wasn't made lightly. I'd been thinking about it for a few weeks. I came up with some ways that I could make it all work, but each time I felt tired just thinking about it. Christmas break came around and I realized something: I didn't really miss choir. I love singing the music and testifying through song. I love learning from Brother Eggett. I love being with my group of girls and guys. But even with all of that, I didn't miss it. Still, I didn't want to leave because I wasn't sure it was the right thing to do.
After thinking about it for a long time and talking to the Lord for awhile about it, I came up with a pros and cons list. The cons outweighed the pros by a long shot. Some people can do it all. I am not one of those people. The good thing about LDC is that I can go back to it when I have more time to be a 100% dedicated member. The bad thing is that by the time I can go back, a lot of my dear friends will be gone, the third years (Sierra, Allie, Jon, Mike, Jenny, to name a few). I hope that we'll be able to keep in touch though! I'll admit it, I miss everyone.
BYU is a hard place to be. It's so, so, so big. I see people I know, but I don't know them. Most of the people I see aren't close friends. Erin, Amelia, and Tiana are there, which is awesome (Erin and Amelia used to be in LDC and Tiana is a good friend from the junior high and high school days), but other than that I don't really know anyone. We're more like acquaintances rather than friends. That will probably change (I hope) but for right now it's a lonely place. Boring, too. Very boring. You can only study for so long, you know?
Third, one of my sisters' friends committed suicide this morning. He went to school with them. I don't know him, but from what I've read and heard today it sounds like he is an awesome, awesome kid. I wish I wish I wish this sort of thing didn't happen. I wish it so much. No one even expected it. It was totally out of the blue. It's so horribly sad.
So, so many sad things happen in this world. A lot of good, happy things happen too. Right now, though, I'm feeling the sadness.
Wow. I can't believe the year is over! It went by so incredibly fast, I'm not even sure what happened in 2011 and what didn't! Thankfully I have thousands of pictures in seasonally categorized folders on my computer...if one picture is worth a thousand words, how many words are a thousand pictures worth? Hm...
LDC had Spring Retreat at the beginning of the year. This is my family group, the Dis-Harmonizers! We were the coolest anti-super hero group ever.
Meghan and Amanda performed in their first ever MVHS choir fundraising concert. It was really great to go back to my high school to see all of my still in high school buddies perform, and to see my sisters be spotlighted in each of their numbers.
Institute Date Night! I've made so many good friends through LDC and through Institute. It's been a huge blessing in my life.
Brianna, Shelby, and I got to go to a session of General Conference at the Conference Center. It was a grand adventure, complete with riding the Trax train. "What is that? It's the wrong shape for a bullet hole..." Good times!!
I graduated from UVU! Associate's Degree, baby! It wasn't a super huge deal, but it was a really great accomplishment for me.
LDC performed our spring show, The Family: A Musical Proclamation. This is the show that we were invited to perform in the Conference Center at Temple Square. It was a really amazing experience, to be able to work with professional sound and light crews, a real live stage manager, and to have a fully functioning stage to perform on. I loved every minute of it. Dream come true, to perform on that stage!
Choir tour!
One time Meghan forgot to get a group together for Morp. Adam and I helped her out by going as a second couple, even though we'd graduated a year before.
Jordan and Meghan...Peter Pan and Wendy.
Institute on parade!
Manti Pageant with my sisters and Jenni. It has always been one of my absolute favorite things to do in the summer. I'm so glad we got to go this year! It was the first time in nearly 3 years, and it was a total blast. Thanks to dad for driving us down and hanging out with all of us girls!
New job! Super fun.
Natalie's birthday adventure!
July brought saying good-bye to my best friend Jordan. He is currently serving in the Independence, Missouri mission, Spanish speaking. I honestly don't know where I would be without this kid. I love you, Elder Raddatz!!
The final installment of HARRY freakin' POTTER! Midnight showing, of course.
Summer vacation part one: the ZOO. Where we actually belong.
Summer vacation part two: LAGOON. Where only half of our family belongs...the rest get sick (myself included).
Summer vacation part three: GRANDMA'S HOUSE!! EVERYONE belongs at grandma's house.
A new year of LDC: new friends, new music, new experiences, same Spirit. This is a picture from fall retreat. White Power! I mean...uh...yeah. Try coming up with a cheer when you're the white group! It all comes out sounding racist.
Carrots and Choir Chica Sista, my two best girls. I love them so, so much. From heartbreak to hyperness, they've been there for me every step of the way this semester. BFF's!
LDC presents Mulan! Well...sort of.
On a whim I bought a fish. I named him Leonardo. Leonardo DiFishy.
Insert imaginary photo of new job at PartyLand!
Halloween!!
Fall photoshoot courtesy of Michelle. They're kind of super late senior pictures combined with pictures to use for audition packets. Thank you, Michelle!
Another photoshoot courtesy of Michelle. It was so great to be able to take pictures of all three of us together! Usually I'm the one behind the camera when it's me and my sisters, so this was great. Merry Christmas, mom and dad!
We got a dog and named her Molly. She's a gremlin. Seriously.
LDC performed with Michael McLean in The Forgotten Carols. It was an amazing experience.
Christmas-ing with Carrots at Blickenstaff's!
We're elves. You know...Christmas elves. Santa's little helpers.
It was a Charlie Brown Christmas.
LDC performed our Christmas show, A Silent Night. All of that music and the words came to mean a lot to me by the end of the run. It was a great experience, despite being strangely difficult for me personally. I'm really glad I have those memories.
Chillin' with the Eggletts, Brother and Sister Eggett's children. They are so stinkin' adorable! And all of them are so very kind. I love them!
