No, I'm not actually a Trekkie, though I have been initiated into the fandom by several very persistent friends. It's going to be a long undertaking. They're quite dedicated.
Despite my lack of Trekkie-ness, you can count on my nerdy affiliations to other fandoms, like Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, the TV series Chuck, Harry Potter, among a myriad of fun things. Which is why I once again attended the Salt Lake Comic Con this April with one of my best friends.
Here we are, me and Linnea. We're two of the cutest little nerds you're ever gonna meet, if you're lucky. ;) This is the second time we've gone together, and we're all ready making plans for September.
Meeting Karen Gillan from the popular TV series Dr. Who, which I've never actually seen. Linnea was kind enough to let me be in her the photo. Can you tell that I'm super tired? We'd been in line for over two hours!
Meet the handsome, charming, devil-may-care and self-proclaimed "I'm a nerd just like you guys!" Karl Urban of The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers and The Return of the King. When I walked up to him, I exclaimed, "Wow! You're super tall!" He laughed and in his adorable Kiwi (New Zealand) accent, he said, "No worries!" He then put his arms around us and bent his knees a little bit.
He is so TALL.
But my favorite -- the man who I was so excited to meet that I almost cried -- Adam Baldwin, who plays John Casey in my favorite TV show, Chuck. Yes, I know that it's kind of silly that I about cried from happiness and excitement. It was really special for me, though. I even got a giant hug when I said hello to him. It was a literal dream come true.
We had such a good time together. I was lucky enough to go on Saturday with a few other friends. I got to see Adam Baldwin again and attend the panel where he answered questions. One of the guys I was with went up to ask a question and got Mr. Baldwin to do his John Casey growl just for me! Afterwards, we got to meet Patrick Stewart -- another step to making me a real Trekkie. They just don't give up!
Such a fun experience. I can't wait for September.
My best friend Ann and I have lots of adventures, so many that I was shocked when I realized...we've never been to Color Me Mine together.
Granted, I haven't been there with anyone since I was a junior in high school, which was a little while ago. So, I dragged out my Ann Girl and her artsy-ness, and away we went.
Two giant mugs, two bird designs, two hours of fun, and two best friends -- it was just what I needed.
There is an incredible amount of hyper energy coursing through me, and none of that energy is applicable for writing papers. Nor is it any good for cleaning. Running through my house chasing my dog keeps happening, and Kala thinks I'm crazy.
I just want to scream at the top of my lungs.
BAAHHHHHHHHH.
Virtual scream. Won't scare my dog and won't alarm the neighbors (even though they have no trouble screaming at each other late at night -- makes me glad that Chelsea and I solve conflicts in a calm, rational manner -- then again, we've never really had a conflict).
The Big Bang Theory is ruining me, by the way. Or, more like my new knowledge and mastery of the remote control has ruined me. I'm no longer intimidated by all of the buttons. I wish I had a time machine because I could go back and stop myself from learning how to use the remote. But...if I didn't know how to use the remote, I wouldn't have watched the Big Bang episode about the time machine, and then I wouldn't have had the idea, so I wouldn't have been able to think of getting a time machine to go back in time and stop myself from learning how to use the remote, meaning I'd be in the same quandary I'm currently in, therefore no paradigm alteration would occur anyway.
...I'm beginning to learn what it means to study the scriptures, and let me tell you, it's quite fascinating what you can learn -- so many thoughts and ideas bouncing around
...why do I so often want to go back to the person who caused me so much grief -- or do I even want to go back
...funny how often others pressure me to take care of things that are no longer my problem, and the people doing the pressuring aren't even interested in helping out
...people are hypocritical -- it bugs me how often I, too, fall into that
...snow would be so much more fun if I had a guy friend to chuck snowballs at and then run for my life -- missing Jordan a lot this weekend
...I hate money because I don't have any
...doing...
...migraines, anybody? whatever you do, don't get them
...dishes by hand -- the dishwasher is broken and I don't know how to fix it, but I actually like doing the dishes now
...started watching Big Bang Theoryand I'll admit that I really like it, even though I shouldn't
...consistently behind in my homework, no matter how hard I try to keep up
...wishing. lots of wishing
...sleeping -- are you shocked, because I have been
...spent time with my best girl Kayla, whom I haven't played with in months -- Cafe Rio, gas station hot chocolate (which never ceases to be grand), quoting YouTube videos, fixing car wind shield wipers, watching Once Upon a Time, talking about boys and college and dreams, you name it
...oh, my wind shield wiper broke while I was on the freeway yesterday afternoon during the blizzard -- that was fun
...trying not to fret about the future, because I can't control a lot of what happens
...feeling...
...headaches -- a lot
...unable to talk to anyone about anything that's going on in my life because 1) people don't want to listen, 2) people are too busy to listen, 3) people scold me for how I feel/think/act, 4) people use what I tell them to get back at me later on, 5) I'm afraid to ask the people who would listen because they're busy and I often end up having nothing to say
...excited for Christmas time -- the one time of year things feel right, even if they're not
...lonely and isolated, which may have been an unintentional choice on my part
...mad at people who are careless with physical affection -- if I hadn't ever been cuddled, I wouldn't miss it (and I wouldn't miss you as much, either)
...tired and scared -- maybe paranoid
...overwhelmed and short on time -- what I wouldn't give for college professors to realize that every class has homework, and a lot of it, not just theirs
...fat. yes, fat
I've been to Idaho before. But I don't remember it being the way it is today.
Granted, I don't even remember that trip to Idaho because I was, liiiiiike...two? Maybe younger? All I remember of that adventure comes from the stories people tell me, and the abundance of photographs in the basement showing me talking to a bronze statue of a little boy.
Funny how stories and photographs can become memories in our heads of events that we participated in, but don't actually recall.
But that's beside the point.
Idaho is, in my opinion, a weird place. The main reason?
There are no mountains.
Seriously. Compared to the real mountains at home, these lumps of rocks are tiny. There's so much open space here, so much so that I actually feel uncomfortable. As I sat in the passenger seat of Ann's car, she laughed at me because I scrunched myself up in a ball and said, "It's just so open." Really, though. I'm digging my little bedroom because it feels safe. Not only is it about five times warmer in here this morning than it is outside (yesterday was surprisingly warm -- Provo was colder), it also has walls and a ceiling and a door.
Safe. Loving this room.
Just for the heck of it, I did a Google search, which led me to agoraphobia: "a condition where the sufferer becomes anxious in environments that are unfamiliar or where he or she perceives that they have little control. Triggers for this anxiety may include wide open spaces, crowds (social anxiety), or traveling (even short distances)" (Wikipedia).
What the heck -- that definition describes me so well it's a wee bit scary. As in, three for three.
Anyway. Idaho is grand. But I'm very glad that I'm not here by myself, and that Ann likes my company. It'll be a good weekend.
I had to share this because it is too cute to keep to myself.
My friend and coworker Dana drew this picture for me -- I for one don't find this giraffe ugly at all, and he is now hanging on the wall next to my calendar. He makes me happy every time I look at him. Dana totally made my day!
(And by the way, Dana is the one who named him Steve, not me. She knows me well.)
When I first heard of The Awful Waffle, I admit that I was quite skeptical. I mean...a food joint that has the word "awful" in the title? I questioned the rhetoric of that one big time (the writing tutor in me never goes away -- I still haven't told you about the time I woke myself up doing a tutorial in my sleep -- but that's a story for another post). Who puts "awful" in the same sentence as a food and then tries to sell a product?
Well. This girl was first curious about this place (which is probably what they're going for), and so decided that she would at least give it a shot. Not to mention that it was the venue where the hip, adorbs (yes, I just said adorbs) Sierra's party of happiness and blogging joy was going to be held! Two birds with one stone: check out the waffle-awfulness and see Sisi at the same time? I think yes.
Brianna and I headed over together, and she assured me that The Awful Waffle was the opposite of its name (leading me again to wonder if the name is meant to bring in curious people like myself).
I was quite impressed with the building, the interior layout, and the design. It was a vintage-modern hodge podge collection of chalkboard topped tables, ceramic deer heads on the walls, pink and blue and mint and white and red aluminum chairs, and bird cage covered lamps. It was old and new all thrown together -- quite trendy and appealing to the current "in" crowd of young single and married adults. Which categories Brianna and I may or may not fall into (yes, we being young, me single and her married). Either way, we both liked the way everything looked! And another thing that we liked...
One word: cupcakes. That's how the party started -- cuppies courtesy of Cupcake Chic -- very excited about that one
(especially because mine was red velvet with a little heart on top)!
Fact. Nothing awful about The Awful Waffle. Especially because the menu included the specialty topping option of Creamy Smooth Peanut Butter. Um...can you say excited? An on-the-house Liege waffle topped with peanut butter and bananas, made fresh right there made me one happy little girl. AND Caroline was there, whom I have not seen since Brianna's wedding (5 months ago -- that's nigh unto forever). I love Caroline. She's beautiful. Disney princess beautiful. Really.
We were pretty happy girls. Different than most of the bloggers who were there -- I definitely gained a new perspective on the "blog world." But it was fun, and I know that I was happy. And, I must say, you would probably benefit from a visit to The Awful Waffle. Yum. Yum, yum, yum. That waffle was awfully good (I'm so funny)! You should go get one.
One of the most important rules in my life has always been this: never watch a "girl movie" alone. Up until two weeks ago, that was an easy rule to keep. Sure, I watch movies alone all the time. They're more along the lines of Mulan and Captain America and Megamind. Last week I had a sudden desire to watch Leap Year. I'm guessing that part of the reason was because it had been a bit of a revealing weekend (revealing as in I learned a lot about the way I feel about certain things) and I just wanted to watch someone's love story fall into place. Not to mention Leap Year makes me laugh. I wanted to laugh.
Pretty soon other movies crept their way off the library shelves and into my book bag. Juno, Sydney White, When in Rome, The Prince & Me -- those were last week's films that I watched during my evenings at home alone on the couch. I had only seen When in Rome, so the others were an adventure. Adventures that didn't go as I had planned.
I'll admit it. I teared up a little bit and felt alternately giddy and depressed. I decided that watching those movies had been a horrible idea and that it was back to the rules again: no chick flicks by myself.
Then...well. After a spontaneous girl date with Hannah to The Chocolate and indulging in decadent, delicious, delightful sweeties (hers a large slab [yes, slab, not piece] of dark chocolate cake with inch thick frosting and mine a luscious lemon bar with powdered sugar), I had a hankering for one of my favorite movies of all time: You've Got Mail. Kathleen Kelly is one of my favorite characters in film (not to mention I adore her wardrobe) and I love to hate and then fall in love with Joe Fox (every time).
Now, I often hear girls use the phrase, "Oh my goodness, I bawled during that movie!" I have never been able to apply that to me in regards to a chick flick. I've teared up (as I mentioned before), but the only times I've ever bawled during a movie were when I saw The Fellowship of the Ring for the first time and realized Boromir was going to die, and probably when Pinocchio got swallowed by the whale -- but that was out of fear, which is an entirely different emotion (I got very scared by many movies when I was younger). Tonight, though, I was crying throughout the ENTIRE. MOVIE.
I cried when Kathleen wrote about wanting her mom back. I cried about writing to the void and saying good-night to no one. I cried when Kathleen said, "There's no one else. There's only a dream of someone else." I cried when Joe apologized to Kathleen in the email as himself, and I cried even harder when he said, "Talk to me. I'm here." I cried when the store closed and when Joe visited Kathleen when she was sick. I cried when Joe confessed his wish to Kathleen and she left. And then I sobbed at the end -- and it's not even a sad ending! I literally took a pillow off of the couch and smacked myself in the face with it while screaming in frustration, and then sobbed during all of the credits.
Stupid. Right? So incredibly stupid. I don't cry during movies, especially not during chick flicks. Heck, I don't even cry very much during anything, not even when I really want to.
What is WRONG with me?! First, I confessed all of these dark worries and fears and issues to a friend yesterday. Then I poured my heart out to Hannah at the dessert cafe and told her things I've never told anyone but the air and my journal -- more things that I have wished that I could say to someone but have never dared to. Now I spent two hours bawling my eyes out during one of my favorite happy movies, curled up on the couch holding onto a pillow for dear life.
I'm thinking that a second feature of While You Were Sleeping is a very bad idea. Confessions of a Shopaholic can't be much better. Maybe I'll borrow dad's copy of Silverado or something -- guns, horses, fist fights, saloons, cowboys -- sounds like a better idea to me.
For the last three weeks, Brianna and I have gotten together and watched one extended version of The Lord of the Rings on our afternoon off from work. This evening was the final installment of our adventure through Middle Earth, and we celebrated with kettle corn (we both may be little, but we sure can pack away a lot of popcorn) and dinner. Which was amazing. And easy. And from Pinterest (love). And foreign, too. To borrow words from Samwise Gamgee, "I don't usually hold with foreign food, but this Elvish stuff -- it's not bad!" Or, you know. Japanese stuff. Okonomiyaki, a savory Japanese pancake, literally means "as you like it." It's simple to make, quick to cook, fun to eat (because it's a pancake, but it's got sauce on it), and delicious to taste. Here's what you need:
1 cup flour 1 egg 1 – 2 cups fresh spinach/kale/nappa cabbage/ or your
green of choice [minced] 3/4 cup rice milk or water 1/4 tsp salt Okonomi sauce (or in our case Sweet & Sour sauce and Teriyaki sauce -- I have a major sweet tooth and liked the Sweet & Sour better, but they were both great)
This is your base recipe. Because this is an "as you like it" pancake, you can add whatever you want to the batter! Brianna and I added green onions and ham. Other stuff like garlic, potatoes, shrimp, fish, shallots, ginger, anything you want can be added in. After you've put in your tasties, do this:
1. Preheat pan with oil on medium heat (or do it after the batter is ready like I did)
2. Place all the batter ingredients into a bowl and stir until just combined-
do not over mix (I don't know how you'd over mix it, but that's what the directions said to not do so I figured I'd leave it in for you -- in case it's important, you know)
3. Pour a large pancake sized serving out onto your pan -- about half of the batter will make one good sized pancake
4. Add any additional toppings (or stir them into the batter before pouring into the pan -- then it all gets mixed together evenly)
5. Allow to cook thoroughly on both sides (3-5 minutes, depending on toppings),
add sauce of choice and serve while hot
Such a great meal. Pinterest wins again.
And The Return of the King is just a fabulous film. It's so well done, and the feeling that you get from it is rather incredible. I'll admit it, I was moved to tears by the loyalty and love that the characters feel for each other, and that the actors portrayed so marvelously.
Fantastic evening, I must say. The whole day was great -- productive and fun. And now it's raining. Very perfect.
I've noticed lately that the things I've been writing about have been
a) sad
b) depressing
c) negative
d) all of the above
If you circled "d" then you would be most correct.
After debating whether or not I should apologize, I realized that apologizing would be a little silly. Why apologize for being sincere about how you feel?
However, I do recognize that not all of life is as bad as it may seem. That and I'm trying to keep myself from being extremely irritated and frustrated with people. Short plug for being considerate: just do it. Please. Think about what you're doing and how it effects (affects?) others before you do it. Don't cut in line, rinse your dishes, stop at stop signs, say thank you, pull your weight as much as you can before letting someone do for you what you can do for yourself. Thanks.
Mini rant over. On to the next.
Last night I did something fun on a Friday night for the first time in awhile. I had planned to go to the gym after work, then make dinner, scrub the kitchen, clean my bathroom, read my book, and go to bed around 11:30. My plans totally changed when Linnea asked if I wanted to watch the last two episodes of Sherlock, season 2. How could I possibly say no?
We made a delicious dinner of chicken Parmesan wraps (Pinterest wins again) and cold watermelon, followed by kettle corn (yes -- I did eat a bag and a half by myself) and Snickerdoodles. Sherlock was delightful -- I was absolutely terrified during "The Hound of Baskervilles." I screamed at least four times. "The Reichenbach Fall" wasn't frightening, but it was very fun to be able to follow Sherlock's line of evidence. I was right with him every step of the case. Until, you know, Moriarty pulled that one stunt at the end (I may have screamed then, too).
A late night drive with Kala rounded up the festivities at about 2am. I took her with me when I dropped Linnea off at her home. Kala doesn't get out much, and she likes to go for rides in the car (and I was also glad to have her along to help me not imagine giant black hounds with red eyes tearing out of the bushes around the complex when I got back home).
Today was a good day, too. I woke up feeling very sad again, so I got dressed and went to work on the house. Bathroom scrubbed, kitchen counters and cabinets wiped down, floors swept and mopped, dishes done, laundry started, room straightened, meals prepped, stove top washed -- all in an hour and fifteen minutes. By then I realized I was hungry (that happens a lot now). Wash spinach and drain, rinse strawberries and slice, shred chicken, chop nuts, pour poppy seed dressing, toss together -- salad for eating! Let's just say it was delicious and I might make another tomorrow.
Work with Alyssa and Hannah was a blast. We got almost everything on Tracy's list completed (and mind you, there were about 20 items to do), accidentally ripped up the puzzle piece flooring with the weight of our candy laden carts, climbed up and down ladders hanging hats from the ceiling and stowing boxes of candy on shelves (each box weighs nearly 40 pounds -- carrying 20 of those up a ladder is quite the workout), and just worked hard in general. It's always great to have things to do during a shift, rather than standing around waiting for customers to come in and need help.
Hannah asked if she could come to my house after the shift was over. We ate cold watermelon and made chocolate milk with the Hershey's syrup I keep stowed away in the fridge. Kala kept us entertained with her old lady antics (she lacks manners in some cases), until we finally were laughing so hard we couldn't breath. Pretty soon we got to talking about how she's been doing lately, and then she started asking me questions about Garrett. Half an hour later I'd told her a lot of things I've been keeping back, and I felt badly that I'd spent so much time talking about myself. But she said something that made me feel really happy inside. She smiled and said, "I don't mind. I like to listen. It means that you trust me."
I do trust her. I trust her, and Alyssa, and Linnea -- they're coworkers, yes, but more importantly, they're my friends. We have fun, we have hard times, and we're there for each other when we need each other. And even if we don't need each other, we're there when we want company.
Things are okay. Life is still good. It's hard, and I'm still sad a lot and don't know why, but life is good. Walking through the parking lot tonight in the cool evening air, the night breeze sweet and fresh, the flowers curling into sleep, the stars peeking through the clouds, all I could think about was how good it feels to be alive.
"Remember today, little brother. Today, life is good." -Boromir, LOTR
Sometimes I feel that all I can do is focus on holding myself together, forcing myself to dwell on the good things rather than the not so good things. And it makes things easier to bear. And it makes it easier to fall asleep at night.
I like to remember
...how fun it is to watch any of the extended editions of the Lord of the Rings with someone who hasn't seen the long versions before -- Brianna and I watched The Fellowship of the Ring this afternoon and it was fantastic
...freshly baked cookies topped with cold ice cream
...long talks and big hugs from daddy
...the sudden frequency of huge fluffy, puffy, cotton candy clouds that float over the valley and every so often share their watery burden with us down below
...promises from heaven that are being kept daily
...that I actually look really cute in skirts
...how wonderful it feels to be clean and fresh after a hot shower
...that I don't have to wash dishes or clothes by hand
...that I've been very lucky when it comes to the times I can't handle the physical pain -- so far it's usually been on weekends or holidays when I don't have work or school
...I'm twenty year old single college student with one room mate and I don't live in an apartment -- wow
...my school schedule keeps working out so well -- so do my money worries
...D&C 6:34 -- "Therefore, fear not, littleflock; do good; let earth and hell combine against you, for if ye are built upon my rock, they cannot prevail."
..."Once Upon Another Time"
...the feel of his hand in mine and the sound of his heart beating in my ear
So looking back at my posts and journal entries from the past 8 days, it was a hard week. Everything has been so stressful and scary, with the Move and the Beast and the internship. Then there's been all of the weirdness that happens in my own mind...I worry a lot (no way!). All of those things put together with being alone a lot of the time made for a rough few days.
HOWEVER. This weekend was absolutely the most wonderful weekend I've had in a long time.
Friday:
...went to Brianna's apartment for the first time and it was a bit of an adventure finding it...I was close though! Three doors down from the right one close.
...Brianna and I played with Misty and Molly for half an hour or so when we got to my house. The puppies love her lots! She's super cute with dogs -- I think she needs one.
...after playing with the dogs, we went through a bunch of stuff in my room. I don't know why it's easier for me to make decisions when there's someone else in the same room, even if we're not talking much. I guess it comes back down to being alone vs. being with a friend. We got rid of so much stuff! A whole box full of books, clothes, shoes, old toys, and other things went to DI, and a big garbage bag was tossed into the bin outside.
...shout out to Brianna -- she's the best friend a girl could ask for. Seriously. I don't think I've ever met a kinder, more generous, helpful, loving person in my life. Love you, pretty lady! Choir-chica-sistas for life!
...Ann came over too! And since it was National Doughnut Day (see? there are so many awesome, random holidays -- remember June 2), we braved the crazy Krispy Kreme parking lot and the even crazier line to get a dozen doughnuts. In honor of the day, the store gave every customer one free doughnut. I saw one with red, white, and blue sprinkles and, well...I had to have it. And by the way, if you ever get a chance to try a key lime pie doughnut, DO IT.
...doughnut purchase was followed by Del Taco purchase. Um...way better than Taco Bell. It actually tastes good in your mouth and not just in your imagination.
...Ann received a new nickname. She's Churro Snob, because she'll only willingly eat a churro from Disneyland (where she's going next week for her birthday -- lucky duck).
...Muppet Treasure Island watching began. Ann and I sang along -- we both know almost all of the words to every song. And all of the lines. Is that sad or epic?
...shout out to Ann -- she is such a fun, adventurous thing, and I'm so lucky to have her in my life! Carrots forever!
...found out that Parker would be in town for the weekend! And it was HIS idea to do something before he left. Not mine. SO. EXCITED. It was dumb how excited I was, but who cares. When one of your closest friends is 5 and a half hours away and you haven't seen him in over a month, it's okay to be silly and giddy.
Saturday:
...though I didn't get to bed until 2am, I fell asleep!! Until TEN. So great.
...$22 in tips at the snow shack. One guy came with his girlfriend and his girlfriend's 4 little siblings, and he tipped me 25% of his bill and thanked me for being so patient. They were probably the least problematic customers I've ever had! They were all so super nice. Then another lady recognized me because I look so much like my mom, and she tipped me nicely too. And another guy who only said what size he wanted and the flavor tipped me well also. It was a pretty good day.
...almost literally ran into Taylor Otteson outside the snow shack. It's been forever since I've seen him! Wow...home from his mission and running his own landscaping business and going to the Y. We're all growing up.
...the new clothes that I got fit perfectly! Two skirts, a dress, two lacy blouses, a sweater (I told myself I wouldn't buy anymore sweaters, but it always ends up happening -- I should never shop when I'm cold...like that's going to ever happen), a flower print top, and a white peasant blouse with blue embroidery. Happy girl!
...my outfit yesterday night? It was pretty cute, if I do say so myself.
...the play that I went to with my family was kind of boring, but the costumes were really cool. I got to talk to one of the actors after the show, who I've met before through a mutual friend, and we talked about LDC and stuff. I dunno if I should go back next year...
...HE CALLED ME!!!
...met up with Parker, Roland, and their friend Emily at Yogurtland, and then Parker told me that I'd have to see The Avengers 8 times instead of 7 because that's what we were going to do. And so we did.
...watching The Avengers with someone who hasn't seen it is so much fun. Parker was laughing his head off! He's great to watch movies with, because his reactions are hilarious. It was really great to hear him laugh and to see him smile so much. He looks a lot happier than he was before he left.
...may I just say that I hate saying good-bye? But this good-bye wasn't so bad. Being wrapped up in a giant hug, hearing somebody else say that he misses you, and you can tell he means it. Then being reassured that you'll get to talk soon, and that he'll be back in a month. And then, as you walk away, he looks back at the same time you do (that's never happened before -- it was really cool). That's not a bad good-bye. That's a happy good-bye. More of a see ya later.
...shout out to Parker -- I am SO grateful to have him as a friend. My coworkers often comment on what an odd pairing we are, but you know, we really aren't that odd. We just love each other. It happens sometimes.
Sunday:
...I slept again! Yes!
...helped teach the music in Singing Time today -- it was kind of fun to stand up in front of all the kids and help them learn the song.
...my class was AWESOME today. They were so reverent, and so helpful. I had two classes, mine and another teacher's, so I had ten children in all. It was absolutely wonderful. I haven't loved teaching Primary as much as I did today. They were just so GOOD. They're always good, but today was amazing. I love those kidlets.
...Regan, one of the little girls, came up to explain her picture that she drew. Here is what she said:
"I have a friend named Nick, and we love each other, but it won't work
out yet because he's 15 so we made chocolate pudding and he loves me."
Regan, my love -- you are five years old. Don't try to grow up too fast, okay?
...3 hour nap, blueberry bagels, lack of useless stuff in my room, yay!
...played with Molly and Misty for a little while. Here is Misty's status update (yeah, my dog has a Facebook -- it's a long story):
"So this one time I was just laying on the floor in Georgie's room,
minding my own business, and out of NOWHERE this other dog flew off the bed
behind me and landed right on top of me. I swear she did it on purpose. #ughSOMETIMES..."
It was hilarious. I almost think that Molly aimed...
...Kelly Clarkson's song "Dark Side" = OH. EM. GEE. It's almost like she took my life and wrote a song about it. Guys...Kelly must read my blog! Haha, just kidding.
I'll admit it. This song brought me to tears. And all I can say is...
WOW.
This was a bit of a long recap...and no pictures. If you made it this far, you are awesome. If you didn't, you're still awesome -- you just don't know about it because you're not reading this. Heehee!
It's been another one of those difficult weeks. Lots of pain, little sleep, many things to do, and home alone often. I've been very grateful that it's a three day weekend, because it means that I won't miss any school but I can still rest.
I've also been very grateful for the little things that have reminded me that someone is watching out for me. I'm lucky to be where I am and to have the people that have been put in my life.
I'm lucky because
...Misty is one of the sweetest little dogs in the entire world. She sleeps with me, she spends time with me, she makes me laugh when I'm sad, and she cuddles with me when we're both cold. Love that dog.
...people like Steven and Dominique text me just to say hello. It's always great to have a day start with a text that says you're loved.
...that lovely girl Q sent me a short message to tell me that she loves me.
...Kenna invited me to hang out with her on Saturday morning. We made breakfast and talked about how wonderful life is, even when it's hard (because it truly is wonderful). She and I think so alike it's scary. We decided again that we definitely are sisters; we just had to find each other.
...Dad asked me to watch Captain America with him on Friday night because we both weren't feeling well. He bought pizza and cookies (I know, great food when you're sick, haha) and we watched the movie together. It was great.
...I got to talk to Jaden, Ruthie, Coty, Brianna, and Corby today. I love text messaging -- I can have conversations with multiple friends at once without any of them needing to leave a voicemail (which half the time I don't get anyway. My phone is dying).
...I was really worried that some of my friends were upset at me, but then one of them sent me an email to say hello and I felt better about everything.
The Lord cares enough about me to put me in contact with people who stay in contact with me. Friendships mean a lot to me, and to have others care about a relationship as much as I do helps me keep going. I know I need to learn to be less dependent on others, but you know? I really can take care of myself, and I do, even on the days that I'm sad. It just makes it a little bit easier when there's somebody to talk to -- even if in the talking we never address anything other than the happy things.
Most of these people don't know that this week has been hard. That's one of the reasons why it meant so much to me for them to say hello or spend time with me. They were each answers to prayers in their own way, and for that I am very grateful.
Life is GREAT, guys. Even when it's hard, it's great.
School is so complicated. It's so much more than going to class and doing assignments. There are all of the hoops to jump through to fulfill requirements, all of the things you can't say in order to remain on good terms with professors and peers, all of the extra things needed outside of classes to show potential employers or educators that you're prepared, all of the little things that no one mentions until you get an email telling you that you dropped the ball you didn't know you were holding.
All of this stress and work and anxiety over a piece of paper with your name on it that says you accomplished something. All of the money, time, energy, frustration, all of it, for the sake of some fake gold lettering that you put on your wall.
There is a point to all of this stuff I'm doing, I'm sure of it. For one thing it keeps me from being bored out of my mind. For another, I'm getting a glimpse of how others think and behave in a way I wouldn't if I just had a job.
However, I don't feel like I'm doing this for any other reason than if I don't, there will be consequences that will be detrimental in the future. Be it social disapproval, or inability to provide for myself or future family, or not being able to do the things I want to do with my life -- I feel as if I go to school out of fear, rather than a desire to learn. A lot of the time I don't feel like I'm learning anything, other than that I'll never get used to how often I feel stupid in school.
I know that there are people who would do anything for a shot at an education. I mean, look at what's happening in Afghanistan. 122 girls and 3 teachers were poisoned by the Taliban while the girls were in school because these girls want an education. Not only that, but this isn't the first time this has happened over there. And you know what? The terrorists aren't stopping girls from going to school. Despite this serious threat, girls in Afghanistan don't let it stop them from learning. They're literally risking their lives to learn. They don't let anything stop them.
I'm not anywhere near as dedicated as they are. Some days I don't even know why I'm going to school. I mean...I go to school out of fear. They go to show the world that no one can stop them. They know why they're going. They know why it's important. I wish I could see it as clearly as they do, free from the lense of doubt and frustration.
I need to be more grateful for what I have. Those girls sure are -- they're grateful for their school houses that are falling down, with three students to a desk and not enough books to go around, while security guards stand outside to keep people from causing trouble. They know what they're doing, and they know why the're doing it. I pray that I can be half as brave and determined as they are.
Ann and I went to see The Avengers the day after it came out. I didn't go to the midnight showing because I acted like a grown-up and went to bed because I had school the next day (stupid school). Since it was a special occasion, we splurged on blue raspberry Icees, popcorn, Sangria, chocolate covered pomegranate seeds (Ann hates them), and Avengers temporary tattoos. My Captain America shield on my collar bone was quite awesome, as were our ribbons: Ann's was for Thor and mine was for the Captain.
Super excited fan girls. No big deal.
Since then I have been multiple times, each time with different people. If you guess more than two, you're right. If you guess less than seven, you're also right. However, that is likely to change...so after seeing it several times, here is what I have to say:
First, that the movie is super entertaining. For an action-packed film it was surprisingly hilarious! Second, Captain America is just a good guy. Third, there isn't really a weak performance in the whole film. Fourth, there are some pretty interesting symbols in the film, if you know where to look for them. Linnea in her Loki colors and I in my blue America hoodie shirt saw it tonight (we also splurged because pay day was on Friday...pretzels, popcorn, Coke Zero, the works) in a nearly empty theater and discussed many of those points while we watched.
I liked the movie because it was fun, fast paced, full of clever dialogue, includes interesting allusions to other films and, if you look for it, spiritual things (and my literature/theory professors think I can't analyze), and had characters you could actually root for. Yes, Steve Rogers steals my attention every time, but each character has an interesting story and a key role in the events. There are things I would have liked to see more of in the storytelling (like less Iron Man and more Captain America and Thor), but overall I really liked it and I would recommend it to audiences who like a fast moving story with interesting twists and turns (and a great villain).
In short, if you're looking for a stellar plot with great character development, eh, not so great. BUT if you want to see some bad guys get their butts kicked, heroes banter back and forth with wit so quick you can't help but laugh out loud, and some pretty intense, dizzying in a good way special effects -- in my opinion, it can be classified as a good movie. Assembly complete. Avengers unite. Yay!
Okay, so I actually don't know how to say Saint George in Spanish (I Googled it and got three different ways to say it -- I don't know which one is right) but Santa Jorge is just so much fun to say!
Anyway. Last Thursday through Saturday I went to Saint George with Ann and Brianna. It was sunny and warm (dare I say hot) and beautiful. We found the Walmart, went swimming every night in the waterfall pool, made our own lazy river by running in circles around and around the circular hot tub (hence the circles we ran in), shot the heck out of each other with water guns, drove past the temple a couple of times, went mini golfing, played Deal or No Deal in the arcade, discovered that you can buy ice cream at the Dollar Tree, pretended to be Iron Man (or at least I did) while driving go-carts, made lasagna (frozen...haha) in our hotel room OVEN, took jumping pictures on the hill above the city, made paper cranes at the dinosaur museum, and did whatever we wanted whenever we wanted (except for when we ate breakfast -- you had to do that before 10am).
Here are some photos of the adventure:
Brianna with the lambs at the petting zoo near Scipio (how many prepositions can you use in one sentence, eh). They even had a zebra! It was a little guy.
Brianna's "hole in awesome!" Or in one, if you prefer.
Jumping downhill = a feeling very similar to when you tip your chair back too far and think you're going to die.
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