all wrapped up...

Adam (yes -- he does have a name) and I had quite the adventure on Saturday. We visited the Mummies of the World exhibit at the Leonardo Museum in Salt Lake City. While it was educational and interesting, I felt that the exhibit designers had leaned a bit on the theatrical side of presentation, rather than focusing on the informational and historical elements of the collection.

I'm very grateful that I've found someone who will allow me to muse about the moral and ethical dilemmas that I find when I visit museums and explore the exhibitions (seeing as it is what I intend to study when I go to graduate school). There is a large debate on the proper handling and displaying of human remains. As I walked through and observed the Mummies of the World exhibition, I was concerned at the way the exhibit designers emphasized the dramatics and mystery of studying mummies. The dim lighting is understandable, as certain light frequencies can damage the delicate remains. What I noticed was the combination of the lighting, the music, and the use of shroud-like fabric to separate the segments of the collection.

It was quite tomb-like. There was a certain creepiness to the atmosphere -- starting with the narration of the introductory video all the way through the end. Yes, there is mystery to mummies, and a certain morbid curiosity which I admittedly possess. But the emphasis on it was too much for me. 

Some of the mummies they showed were also quite iffy to me -- particularly the mummies of the human fetuses. I felt that some of the mummies were displayed less for educational purposes and more for spectacle or shock factor. A couple of times I found myself wondering how the person who inhabited the body on display feels about the handling and exhibition. I believe in post-mortal existence, as I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It concerned me that the manner of display was not respectful enough, that it was all for show and dramatics, rather than in the interest of preserving the life and peoples of the past.

I was also frustrated with some of the language of the exhibit, which stated absolutes and information that we supposedly "know" and can derive completely, questions we can answer with certainty. Sometimes the language was not prescriptive; there were instances when the language was ambiguous, phrases like "this may have" and "it is possible." Those are perfect -- it is what museums in general strive for. What is not perfect is stating a fact about something that we cannot possibly know. We cannot presume to interpret meanings from things we really have no idea about. Interpretation is not the focus of current academia. 

There are multiple debates going on regarding these issues, including the Native American tribes and the display of those remains and interpretation of artifacts. The same debates are occurring with mummies and other things.

Poor, dear boy -- I think he's getting a better taste of what he's headed in to. But after Saturday, he still seems to love me quite a bit. A bit more than I realized, I think. 

I love that man. So very much. How could I not, when he takes me to museums on his free days, treats me to the Cheesecake Factory for lunch, lets me wax philosophical about the moral concerns in my field of study, harmonizes at the table while holding my hands and looking into my eyes, lets me wear his awesome leather jacket, puts up with my outbursts of silliness and OCD-ness at Pixel PlayLand, holds me close to him during church, sits with me when the pain becomes too much, and invites my family to dinner with us so he can get to know them better?

He was very involved in the circuitry boards -- he likes the kind of stuff. 

How can I not love him? I submit that it is quite impossible.

things get better...

...stressful days still hold smile-worthy things...
...random calls from dad because he said he had a feeling I needed someone -- twice in one day
...texting Brianna and having a fun conversation with her for a few minutes
...talking to my sister Amanda for a little while and sharing dreams and schemes
...my dogs Misty and Molly "sharing" my dinner (they stole a potsticker) and cuddling with me on the couch
...chatting with Parker for about 15 minutes after I accidently pocket dialed him, and he called me back -- so good to hear his voice
...a sympathetic comment from a friend regarding the upcoming exam
...my paycheck is bigger than I expected it to be
...Amanda made chocolate milkshakes -- BIG chocolate milkshakes
...this picture that Linnea shared on my Facebook page:

...little tender mercies...so grateful for them...

frustrated but still smiling...

I'm frustrated tonight. Very frustrated. For some reason, being frustrated isn't bothering me as much as it usually would. Normally I'd be storming around the house, trying to find something to do while randomly bursting into tears or shouting at someone for no good reason (yes, I do that sometimes). I don't know how it works, to be frustrated but able to just kind of shrug it off. That never happens to me.

Here's why I'm frustrated:

1. LDC is instigating planned date nights. It's somewhat common knowledge that I don't like dating very much. I'm sure the reasoning behind this idea is good, but I don't like it. I don't want to feel forced into dating, if someone asks me to go. I also want to be a part of the choir activities and socializing, but I would prefer not to do so on a date. So I'm going to get left out in two ways: if I really don't feel comfortable going to an activity on a date, or if I don't even get asked. So...lose-lose situation. I guess just make the best of it. Still, when you have nightmares frequently about dating...we'll see how it goes.
2. BYU won't accept scholarship applications from transfer students until said students have completed one semester or 12 credit hours at the university. Now I'm wondering how I'm going to be able to pay for school. This is tied to frustration number 3.
3. I cannot find a job. I've had interviews, even job offers, but none of them have worked out. They haven't felt right. So I don't have an income at all, my savings are shrinking, and now I've found out that BYU won't accept a scholarship application from me. I suppose I could apply for a grant, but it'd only be half of what I need. Half is better than nothing though. Much better.
4. Everything is changing so very fast. I feel like everyone around me is growing and changing while I stand still, frozen in place, watching the rest of the world speed by in a blur. Lately I feel like my world keeps getting turned upside down. I guess I need to stop standing on rugs, figuratively speaking; every time I find my balance someone jerks the carpet out from under me. No more rugs! I need something stable.
5. I wish people would be honest from the very beginning.
6. This shouldn't be a frustration, but it is: I do not know what to get rid of and what to keep! I have too much stuff! Aaah!

At the same time that I feel frustrated, I'm smiling. There are SO MANY GOOD THINGS IN LIFE. For example:

1. I spent the afternoon with Sean and Ann at Ann's house, where we had pizza and strawberry lemonade. After Sean left, Ann and I got to talk for a couple of hours about all sorts of things. Ann is one of the best friends a person could ask for. It is SO NICE to have a girl to talk to again! All summer it was just me and the boys who were still here. Now, I have lots of choir girls to talk to! And I just adore my Ann girl; she is such a sweetheart! Not to mention she's a red head. I've always wanted a best friend who was a red head. Yay!
2. Brianna invited me to the temple with her yesterday. Her mom and Shelby came as well. Since it was so crowded we were there for nearly 2 and a half hours. It was amazing! Moroni Chapter 7 is now one of my favorite chapters of scripture. Look it up. It's awesome.
3. My dog adores me. She really does. I love having a furry friend to come home to; Misty is always excited to see me! She's learning some new tricks. This week we're working on "give me 5". Misty's kind of getting it. It's more like a punch than a high five, but close enough! I'll take it.
4. Being able to sleep when I am able to sleep is so nice. Whether it's a nap in the afternoon, or sleeping a little later because I couldn't finally relax until around 3am, et cetera, it's great. I'm still tired all of the time, but it's been really helpful to actually get sleep, instead of trying to make it on 3 to 4 hours a night just because I couldn't fall asleep.
5. There is a young man who has the most beautiful smile I have ever seen in my life. He sits kitty-corner from me in choir, so it's easy for me to glance over at him when something amusing happens in class. There's something so wonderful about a guy who isn't afraid to full on smile. Especially when that smile belongs to an incredibly handsome face! Yes, it's enough to make me smile. And blush. And get...dare I say it...butterflies!
6. I wrote a letter to Jordan on a napkin today at Ann's house. It's the most random, confusing letter ever. Front and back, with doodles and stories and poetry and all sorts of things for my missionary friend. Ann wrote him a note on the napkin, too, and she signed it Carrots (because her hair is red). He's going to be so confused! It was way too much fun!
7. You know, I can't figure out how there are so many wonderful, good, virtuous people in my life. I just don't know how that happened. I am so incredibly blessed to know all of these people. Really and truly blessed.
   

SMILE! It looks GOOD on you!