Lately it feels as though nothing is working out.
I was made student lead at my job. You'd think that would be a good thing, but no. I hate being in charge, particularly when it's a position for which I was never trained because (surprise) it never existed before. It's so frustrating having curators and metadata specialists coming to me for answers to questions I've never known needed to be asked. To every day send people to ask someone else because I don't know what to do.
The paper I'm writing is too smart for me. I don't even understand the eight pages I wrote -- and I don't know if my professor will like it. I'm writing way out of my league because it's fascinating, but honestly? I'm terrified I'll get called out for writing a paper on personal racial identity when -- hello -- white girl right here. I mean, the fact that I'm white doesn't mean that I can't discuss racial issues. It sure is terrifying, though.
The air conditioner broke this morning. And it's the hottest week of the summer so far.
At the same time that nothing seems to be going right, things are going okay. I mean, having a position created for me because the curators recognized that I at least have potential is pretty great. They picked me, out of the seven students -- and me being here the least amount of time.
The paper I'm writing is too smart for me. Yeah -- that's kind of a good thing, right? Because if it's too smart for me, yet I wrote it and the thoughts came from me, then I must be headed in a good direction.
Today is the coolest day of the hottest week of the summer. It's cloudy and overcast, with a nice wind blowing -- kicks up a lot of dust, but the house might not turn into an oven by the end of the day.
Plus, I made a new friend. She's a custodian for the library, and she is one of the sweetest people I've ever known. She told me all about how she used to work at Disneyland, and her vacation to New Orleans this summer with her family. She had the strangest earrings I've ever seen, and was totally focused on getting things cleaned up in the stacks where the construction crew had made a mess. She also noticed things that have been broken or sitting around by my desk for months that I didn't know what to do with, and just took care of them for me.
How nice is that?
And so, things aren't all that bad. It just feels that way.
Showing posts with label tender mercies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tender mercies. Show all posts
Thursday, June 13, 2013
Thursday, May 17, 2012
blah...
I've noticed that I blog a lot more when I'm feeling anxious. Kind of like right now.
This exam is stressing me out so much. I've studied for four hours today, and two yesterday, with some regular prepping for class sessions every day this term, but I don't feel like it's enough.
I don't know what I'm supposed to know! I don't know the format, I don't have any clue about the types of questions that will be on the exam, I don't know how to give good answers.
...thank goodness for good things...
...for my dog Misty, who has spent the whole day with me
...for Alyssa, who made the shift enjoyable
...for Brianna, who visited me at work and brought me beautiful pink flowers in a mason jar with an orange ribbon (love the ribbon so much)
...for Taco Bell, which has cheap food (even though I had to force myself not to think about what I was eating -- it's a lot better in my imagination than it is in my mouth. You can feel the calories -- sick)
...for my dad, who called me again tonight
...for silly temporary tattoos, Iron Man flying across my right collar bone (I'm such a rebel)
...for hot showers, because no one has been home to run any water all day
...for clean sheets, which smell so good and are so soft
...for parties to look forward to this weekend
Because even though I'm an emotional wreck, good things still happen.
Still...emotional wreck. I hate feeling so unprepared for an exam, especially after I've spent so much time with the material. Ugh. Whatever. Sleeping pill time. After 12pm tomorrow, the exam will be over and that will be that. Joy.
This exam is stressing me out so much. I've studied for four hours today, and two yesterday, with some regular prepping for class sessions every day this term, but I don't feel like it's enough.
I don't know what I'm supposed to know! I don't know the format, I don't have any clue about the types of questions that will be on the exam, I don't know how to give good answers.
...for my dog Misty, who has spent the whole day with me
...for Alyssa, who made the shift enjoyable
...for Brianna, who visited me at work and brought me beautiful pink flowers in a mason jar with an orange ribbon (love the ribbon so much)
...for Taco Bell, which has cheap food (even though I had to force myself not to think about what I was eating -- it's a lot better in my imagination than it is in my mouth. You can feel the calories -- sick)
...for my dad, who called me again tonight
...for silly temporary tattoos, Iron Man flying across my right collar bone (I'm such a rebel)
...for hot showers, because no one has been home to run any water all day
...for clean sheets, which smell so good and are so soft
...for parties to look forward to this weekend
Still...emotional wreck. I hate feeling so unprepared for an exam, especially after I've spent so much time with the material. Ugh. Whatever. Sleeping pill time. After 12pm tomorrow, the exam will be over and that will be that. Joy.
things get better...
...random calls from dad because he said he had a feeling I needed someone -- twice in one day
...texting Brianna and having a fun conversation with her for a few minutes
...talking to my sister Amanda for a little while and sharing dreams and schemes
...my dogs Misty and Molly "sharing" my dinner (they stole a potsticker) and cuddling with me on the couch
...chatting with Parker for about 15 minutes after I accidently pocket dialed him, and he called me back -- so good to hear his voice
...a sympathetic comment from a friend regarding the upcoming exam
...my paycheck is bigger than I expected it to be
...Amanda made chocolate milkshakes -- BIG chocolate milkshakes
...this picture that Linnea shared on my Facebook page:
Friday, December 30, 2011
playin' with the Eggletts...
Last night I didn't sleep well. It's been the running trend for the past month or so. It's become rather hard to deal with, and I'm hoping that I'll be able to do alright once school starts. Somewhat worrying, because I won't have time to catch up on lost sleep until Sundays, so I'm just crossing my fingers that it will be okay. Sleep. Something you hardly think about until you can't get enough!
When I finally got out of bed today, I had no energy and no desire to do anything other than get my laundry done and avoid contact with people at all costs. Then I got on Facebook and saw a post from one of the choir members, asking for any girls who were available this afternoon to help out the Eggetts. Sister Eggett had surgery earlier this week, and when mom is sick, nothing fun happens.
Allie and Heather were the ring leaders for the small gang of choir members who went over to the Eggett home. The four youngest children, Brother Eggett, and we "grown-ups" (Heather, Sam, Mike, Brad, and myself) had a lovely time playing Just Dance 3 on the Wii. Rachel, the oldest Eggett girl, dances circles around everyone at that game! And my one claim to fame for the night: I beat Brother Eggett at his best song, "California Girls" by Katy Perry. It's a proud moment in my life.
Later in the afternoon we took the 4 youngest kids to the park and played there.
A short soccer game took place until Joseph, the youngest, got too tired to run. Then freeze tag for awhile until Joe again was too tired to run anymore. So we played an on-the-grass version of Dead Man, Dead Man. Since there was no trampoline available we made a ring out of coats and made it work.
Pretty soon the kids got tired of Dead Man, Dead Man. Once the playground was pointed out, there was no stopping any of us from having a go at the slides, swings, and ramps. A new game began, Lava Monster. If you've never played it, you should! It's a total blast. The wood chips are the lava, and one person starts as "it", or the lava monster. Rules: The lava monster can only touch one color of the playground equipment. In our case, it was white. The monster can only touch the color for five seconds at a time (that rule eventually got overlooked). The people have to stay on the playground equipment. They can only touch the lava for 5 seconds in the case of the kids, 3 in the case of the grown-ups. Once you're tagged, you become a lava monster. The last person still "alive" becomes the lava monster for the next round.
After a good three rounds or so of Lava Monster, everyone was getting cold and hungry. Back to the Eggetts we went to finish up the dinner prep. Sam and I took the two youngest girls, Sarah and Hannah, to Harmon's to get some extra food for the LDC "grown-ups". He bought each of us a bottle of Jones Soda, which I thought was very nice of him. Mine was Green Apple...it was weird, like a carbonated green apple snow cone. Good, just weird.
Dinner was followed by Wii Resort, emphasizing in the game Swordplay. Wow...that was so intense! We were all screaming and jumping up and down. Brigham, just older than Joe, was jumping in circles he was so into the game. The best part was when Hannah was taking her turn, and her dad started cheering her on. "Be aggressive, Hannah!" he shouted, to which she calmly replied (while swinging her remote at the screen) "I'm not that kind of person." Priceless!
All in all it was a 100% enjoyable, perfect afternoon. I didn't really want to go over at first because I was feeling so tired and just downright sad. I'm so glad I did though. It was just what I needed.
And may I just say that if I could look as beautiful as Sister Eggett did today, I would feel absolutely satisfied with my life. I don't know how she always manages to look so wonderful, two days after surgery and all! She is an amazing lady, not just because she's pretty, but because she is so kind. I hope to be half as gracious and kind as she is.
Here are some of my favorite captured moments from this afternoon. The Egg-letts are the cutest kids ever! Seriously though. BEAUTIFUL children.
.
When I finally got out of bed today, I had no energy and no desire to do anything other than get my laundry done and avoid contact with people at all costs. Then I got on Facebook and saw a post from one of the choir members, asking for any girls who were available this afternoon to help out the Eggetts. Sister Eggett had surgery earlier this week, and when mom is sick, nothing fun happens.
Allie and Heather were the ring leaders for the small gang of choir members who went over to the Eggett home. The four youngest children, Brother Eggett, and we "grown-ups" (Heather, Sam, Mike, Brad, and myself) had a lovely time playing Just Dance 3 on the Wii. Rachel, the oldest Eggett girl, dances circles around everyone at that game! And my one claim to fame for the night: I beat Brother Eggett at his best song, "California Girls" by Katy Perry. It's a proud moment in my life.
Later in the afternoon we took the 4 youngest kids to the park and played there.
A short soccer game took place until Joseph, the youngest, got too tired to run. Then freeze tag for awhile until Joe again was too tired to run anymore. So we played an on-the-grass version of Dead Man, Dead Man. Since there was no trampoline available we made a ring out of coats and made it work.
Pretty soon the kids got tired of Dead Man, Dead Man. Once the playground was pointed out, there was no stopping any of us from having a go at the slides, swings, and ramps. A new game began, Lava Monster. If you've never played it, you should! It's a total blast. The wood chips are the lava, and one person starts as "it", or the lava monster. Rules: The lava monster can only touch one color of the playground equipment. In our case, it was white. The monster can only touch the color for five seconds at a time (that rule eventually got overlooked). The people have to stay on the playground equipment. They can only touch the lava for 5 seconds in the case of the kids, 3 in the case of the grown-ups. Once you're tagged, you become a lava monster. The last person still "alive" becomes the lava monster for the next round.
After a good three rounds or so of Lava Monster, everyone was getting cold and hungry. Back to the Eggetts we went to finish up the dinner prep. Sam and I took the two youngest girls, Sarah and Hannah, to Harmon's to get some extra food for the LDC "grown-ups". He bought each of us a bottle of Jones Soda, which I thought was very nice of him. Mine was Green Apple...it was weird, like a carbonated green apple snow cone. Good, just weird.
Dinner was followed by Wii Resort, emphasizing in the game Swordplay. Wow...that was so intense! We were all screaming and jumping up and down. Brigham, just older than Joe, was jumping in circles he was so into the game. The best part was when Hannah was taking her turn, and her dad started cheering her on. "Be aggressive, Hannah!" he shouted, to which she calmly replied (while swinging her remote at the screen) "I'm not that kind of person." Priceless!
All in all it was a 100% enjoyable, perfect afternoon. I didn't really want to go over at first because I was feeling so tired and just downright sad. I'm so glad I did though. It was just what I needed.
And may I just say that if I could look as beautiful as Sister Eggett did today, I would feel absolutely satisfied with my life. I don't know how she always manages to look so wonderful, two days after surgery and all! She is an amazing lady, not just because she's pretty, but because she is so kind. I hope to be half as gracious and kind as she is.
Here are some of my favorite captured moments from this afternoon. The Egg-letts are the cutest kids ever! Seriously though. BEAUTIFUL children.
.
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