oh, hello...

What is it with good-byes that only last a day or two? I will give the guy some credit. He graduated from 24 hours of forever to 48 hours of forever. I should have known he'd be back. I spent too much time being relieved and not enough time preparing an answer. So now? No answers. Gah, that is so hard to say! It hurts, more than it should!

Thankfully I have some very protective and smart friends in Brianna and Shelby. I'll put my promise in writing:

I, Georgie, do solemnly swear on my life and my secret stash of emergency chocolate that I will not read any texts or answer any texts/phone calls from Aries. If I break this promise, persons being promised will not be prosecuted for causing injury or for the removal of my personal belongings (such as my phone) until I can maintain my declaration of distance from Aries.

So there you have it, girls. I promise. Haha, OH the drama!!

Speaking of hello, HELLO math review. Man, those hours were painful! After trying to wrap my head around difference quotients, matrices, hyperbolas and other graphs, determinants, sequences and series, logarithms...ugh. What with all of the other stuff going on during the week, I was glad to go to sleep for a little while (after an explosion of tears due to frustration, lack of self-confidence, fear, problems with friends, etc).

LDC's performance tonight was helpful, too. The music was beautiful!! I love singing with these people (we're done in two weeks...I'm not going to think about it). There's something incredible about 70 people bearing testimony together through song. The logistics and mechanics of how a choir actually works in producing sound has fascinated me for several months. It's totally mind blowing. When you get everyone to work together to be one, you can do so many beautiful things with music.

Bad news about choir: After almost 9 months of care, my dress finally ripped. Only two weeks to go and the dang thing finally broke. How lame is that? Oh, and word to the wise: don't grab the wrong end of the iron, especially when it's on. It kinda hurts.

first time for everything...

This is the first time all year that I have put off doing my math homework. I cannot emphasize how badly I do not want to do at. I've looked at it, even written my name on the paper. I just really, really, really, really, really, really don't want to do it. It would take up a whole page of really, really, reallys to even get close to the point. However I won't waste your time.

Another new thing: first time I've really dressed up for school this year. A lot of people asked me why I looked so nice (blue dress, pea coat, white tights, black heels, etc.). My reply? "My jeans were still in the dryer." or "I didn't have any jeans to wear today." People laughed or just nodded like, "Oh, good reason." I found it funny.

The rehearsal for "Grease" went all right today, but there seems to be a bit of a power struggle between myself, one of the boys (another student who does stuff with classes, but more music), and a new girl who will be playing the role of Sandy in the concert as a pre-show character. Jasmine (the girl who's been helping me out with all of this by scheduling and helping when I'm about to cry from frustration) and I thought it would be cool to put her in the number as a singer, because we need more sopranos who aren't dancing.

Well, the student conductor kept counting the music SO slowly it was almost painful to try and dance to. When I'd try to speed up the counts he'd get bugged and sing louder. The Sandy girl kept talking to people and being a distraction. It was really hard. Despite all of that we got a lot finished and did some polishing. It's not as far as I'd like to be, but it's far enough that we don't have to practice through F.E.A.S.T. tomorrow (Friends Eating And Sharing Testimony-it's a Seminary thing-which is a class period during the day over at a building kind of like a church. Basically it's a religion class. Love it. :) ). I'm worried about the auditions Friday, but I'm hoping and praying that all of this work pays off.

Being a real leader is a new thing for me. I've never done this sort of thing before, outside of doing stuff with my sisters and neighborhood kids when we were little. Still I was never "in charge". Parents were always there behind the scenes to settle disputes and such, and to keep us in control if it got loud. Now it's my job. I don't know if I like it all that much.

One thing I'm really looking forward to: costumes for the concert!! Since I'm playing Anita in the pre-show and in the dance section of "Amereeca", I need to have a super flashy costume. I talked to the costume mistress for the concert, and I'm so excited! She loved the ideas I had, and said if I need any help to let her know. It's going to be amazing. :D

I'm surprised how many things have been working out lately. Even the math (though I put it off, I still understand it) is making sense. Sure, there's been tons of opposition, whether high school dramatics, noisy students, chemical ups and downs, and brick walls of frustration and feeling completely clueless. Things just seem to unravel themselves though, and I rarely am the one who unties the knots. I feel like I tug and jerk and cry and curse (not really), but it's not me who fixes the problems. Sometimes it's almost like I just keep trying and doing my best, and somehow someone realizes I need help and comes to the rescue.

Okay. Time for systems of equations and graphing. Joy. Have a good evening/morning/whatever!!

first day at school of the year...

This morning started out pleasant. I woke up happy again (???) and decided I was going to try and stay happy. Ariosa was grand, though I've been given the task of choreographing the number we're doing for the February concert (two selections from "Grease") and I found out that the song I auditioned with is scheduled for a mini concert at lunch in the commons sometime in late February. *sigh* That's so scary, because you can actually see the audience and how they have no interest whatsoever. I don't think that would be so bad if you were in a group performing, but soloing...we'll see.

Health Science was a review, in which I thoroughly embarrassed myself by saying "True" when the question was asked "If a male consumes enough alcohol to be classified as abuse, is there a potential for risk of breast cancer?" Um...duh, no. I need to get more sleep...not to mention cool off my lobster face. Ugh.

I'm actually starting to realize that I'm not as bad at math as I think I am. I mean, getting over 100% on the past three tests is pretty much unheard of in the math department for Algebra 2, but apparently it can be done. It's kind of fun (horrors...I should be shot for saying it) and I don't really mind it much. Granted there are the sticky spots, but they loosen their hold after awhile and become easy. Though my teacher is the only one I've ever had who has discouraged my idea to get a Master's Degree and a PhD (Ph. D.? phD? PH.D? I should probably learn how to spell it...:P).

Went to the gym...which I forgot how much I hate in January. Usually there is no one there during the day, except for a few safety department cops and fire fighters, a few moms, and me. Now it appears that my quiet sanctuary has been flooded with New Year Resolutioners determined to fulfill the 2nd most common resolution in the country (ask Mix 107.9-they said so on the radio last week): EXERCISE. Seriously, there were almost 20 people down on the track. 20!! Seriously-unheard of. Hopefully the drive will die off in a few weeks, or they'll take up a new sport. Like...Wii Fit or something. Lol. Just kidding.

Hair trimmed today! Just to clean up the ends, so about an inch and a half. I was told I over tipped my stylist (no, I did not knock her over), but oh well. She was nice, talked to me, and put up with my endless chattering. Not to mention my hair isn't crooked, so I think she deserved it. I always over tip. I feel bad that people are running to get my drinks or wash my hair or park my car when they could be doing something that they actually enjoy. Of course if I decided to serve myself at a restaurant it might be disastrous-I'd just bother them all by asking where they keep the spoons.

Mom took my sisters and me shopping, where we randomly found penguin pajama pants for me for $1.50. They were marked down because they'd fallen on the floor and gotten dirt on them. Um...less then $5 for a pair of flannel pajama pants because they have a little dirt on them? I've got a washing machine; they're mine!! Haha. :)

And now I'm bugged by things in life (mostly my own stupidity and random mood swings) so I'm going to go to bed. EMR in 8 hours, plus "West Side Story" rehearsal after school, a meeting with the counselor at the college to discuss my future (woot), and anything else that happens to pop up.

Good night/day!

happy dance...

My best friend got his temple recommend back!!!

He's been going to church more often and now he can go to the temple again!!!



:D :D :D :D

Teehee. I'm so happy.

And today wasn't bad. I crossed all but ONE thing off of my "To Do" list, and that wasn't even my fault. Yay!!! Choir went well, and so did the EMR. Communications was spent talking to David and Tyler, so that was awesome. I understood what was taught in Algebra, I got to go home for lunch and chill out for awhile, work wasn't too bad (i pretty much suck at my job but i won't be there for much longer so it's all good), Meteorology was spent actually flirting with Tyler (i shocked myself when i realized that's what we were doing), and this evening has been spent preparing fund raising packets, on Facebook, and talking to my amazing friends.

Life is good. :)

i think something happened...

I think someone was praying for me today. Several things happened to make me think that.

1. Seminary was even more amazing than usual. And I realized that I have a lot of friends in that class. Last term I really didn't; I think that's why I never really wanted to go. This term I feel wanted and welcome.
   
2. I left my Meteorology exam in tears after leaving the last four questions blank. I had no idea what it was talking about. I was seriously on my way home to...well...cry some more. Then I noticed the lyrics of the song playing on the radio. It was my name in the lyrics, and basically saying not to worry and to smile and to remember that people love you. I stopped crying and realized that not only would breaking down cause me to drive off the road but there was no need to. A lot of other people have failed tests before, and they're still happy. It's not the end of the world.
3. Proud owner of an A Cappella choir t-shirt, complete with ACDA on the bottom to show off our convention performance status. So excited!
4. Mrs. Mathews has asked me to "solo" with a couple of other 1st sopranos on the highest notes in one of the numbers. I never thought she'd ask me to do that. It shows great confidence in my abilities. Wow.
   
5. No one was rude or impatient at work today. Everyone treated me really nicely. Even my co-workers gave me some slack. Of course, Paul teased and so did Scott, but it was all in fun. I was glad to kind of relax and just be able to laugh at nothing.
6. My sisters and I didn't fight while doing the dishes. That never, ever, EVER happens. Maybe I should check to see if the moon is blue tonight.
   
7. I understood my math homework. That doesn't make sense. But it did.
8. The secretaries in the Guidance and Administration Offices totally helped me get my Reflections submission ready. They were really helpful, and were so kind. One of them gave me a candy bar because I looked "a little lonely". Aw.
   
9. The car started with no problems, there was hardly any frost on the windows, the day was warm and sunny, and the temperature in the car/at school was perfect.
10. Mom hasn't been mad at me all day.

I really do think there was some extra help today. I always thought it was totally cliche to say "I feel your prayers", but I think it might be true. I think the help came not just from my own prayers and hopes but from outside sources. I'm really grateful for it. It helped me to stay strong when I wanted to collapse.

Oh. And did I mention? He told me that he loves me.

oh, that was a step...and i kinda missed it...

Today has been an off day, like when you're walking down the sidewalk and kind of hit the curb funny. You don't fall down or trip, you just sort of stumble. *step, step, step, stumble! oh!* Yeah. Nothing has gone wrong at all, and everything's been pretty right, but it's just been off.

My BYU application deleted itself, which isn't too horrible because the deadline isn't until December 1st. I've got a couple of weeks.

I'm going to fail my Meteorology exam tomorrow. Seriously. I looked over the study guide tonight and almost said bad words. Then I almost cried. I took notes in class, read the chapters, paid attention, and I'm clueless. School sucks.

On a high note, my Reflections entry is all ready to go. Well, almost. There are a couple things I need to fill out on the media release form thingy, but I have to ask the office what they want me to put because I don't know what region I'm in, what "local" means in the context of a blank line following it, and what I should put for "track" and "teacher". So yeah. Oh, and another good thing. I was SO frustrated with this stupid "Regina's Log" thing that we had for a quiz today in Algebra. Then I looked at my t-chart table thing and suddenly SHA-zam! I totally figured it out. It was majorly epic (only because it will probably never happen again, so it was epic in a major way).

Now I'm going to be completely honest. I am not a trusting person. Pretty much at all. I am here on this blog-heck, you know almost everything about me. Almost. But it's different online. You can choose who you want to be here. You can block a commenter, delete a link from your blog roll, stop reading someone's posts. I'm not a stupid girl. I may be an open book, but not stupid.

Ha ha ha ha ha. Not stupid, eh? Oh, no. I've just trusted someone with the biggest secret of my life. And the whole time I talked there was, and is, this nagging suspicion in my brain that says "You moron. He is totally going to betray you. You idiot. Idiot, idiot, idiot. You're crazy. Why are you telling him this? You can't trust him. He'll listen and pretend to care and drop you like a stone into a river. So why are you trusting him? Hmmmmmm?"

Do you ever feel like that? Do you feel like I do, wanting to be able to trust someone? Needing to see that someone out there will let you talk to them without betraying your confidence? Do you ever do what I did? Have you ever given a person the power to hurt you while hoping beyond hope that they won't?

Stupid girl. Off days are dangerous days. I make myself vulnerable.

get outta my chair...

Getting stuck in the director's chair on the first day of class might be something like this:

1. Be told to get to work
   
2. Feel completely confused as to what to do
3. Stand around looking confused
4. Start warm-ups on the outside of the circle, not sure what to do
5. Be invited to stand in the circle by Brad, and then introduced by Mrs. Mathews to the rest of the kids
6. Stand around looking lost as the other 12 students fall into line, wearing costumes and getting ready to rehearse their traveling Halloween program
7. Ask what to do
8. Given a stool, a pencil, a sheet of paper, and a music stand
9. Told to watch, take notes, and be ready to "give direction, comments, and suggestions"
10. Get nervous and then excited as the talent of the choir is displayed
11. Feel very inadequate and slightly nervous about giving direction, comments, and suggestions on the first day of enrollment in class
12. Notice that 11 of the 12 respond to the direction and get excited about it
13. Notice that 1 of the 12 does not like anything you say and gives you dirty looks
14. Decide to ignore 1/12th
15. Worry about overstepping and look to Mrs. Mathews for cues, only to find that she wants you to keep doing what you're doing
16. Take a deep breath, watch more numbers, and give more direction such as:

"More energy! You're performing! You're having fun! You guys sound great, you blend well, you're got awesome costumes, and you know that you're having fun, but you're not showing it. Have fun! Show me the fun!"

"Mark, I can tell from your performance that you are a gentleman. You probably hold doors open for girls and help your mom bring in the groceries, don't you? *yes, i was right* Well, this is not a girl. This is not even a person. To Gaston, Belle is the next trophy he wants to hang up on his wall. You're the predator, and she's the piece of meat! You're hungry to get your hands on this prize! Don't let her get so far away from you-for every one step she takes further away you take two towards her. And Deb! Belle cannot stand Gaston. He's a brute-ignorant, arrogant, completely repellent. I want disgust. Like, 'are you kidding me? ew...ew...EW!' Show me."

Then "Asha, John Smith has completely insulted you. There's got to be some anger there, until you realize that he has absolutely no idea. Show me the transition from disbelief and hurt at his generalizations to the understanding that he says those things in ignorance. Sing this as teaching him about your world. Teach all of us."

Number 17-Have an amazing first day in Ariosa, and feel so good about it because you've got friends. And number 18, not worrying about making Mrs. Mathews upset because of your "directing" because she pulled you aside and said that it was fabulous and so helpful. Teehee.

First EMR (early morning rehearsal) with A Cappella this morning. I thoroughly enjoyed it, especially since I got to sit next to "that girl". Haha, love you, friend!

40/50 on my stupid Communications midterm. I studied and studied and STUDIED and still did terribly. Ugh. I hate it.

Completely lost in math. Again.

Pretty much failed a Meteorology quiz because I didn't understand the chapter at all.

Compliments from Tyler like crazy as he tossed candy at me in class, saying (each bolded word emphasizes when he threw it at me and how he said it) "You're such a SMARTIEs, and such a SWEET HEART instead of TART, and you're such a NERDs which is good because you pass your classes and can help me pass too, but not an Air Head so I get to eat this one." Then he said that he thinks I'd be way fun to go to a dance with because I'm such an awesome person and he likes to make me laugh. I like Tyler. He's a good friend.

Enjoyable time at work-it wasn't too bad today and I got some paperwork done for Paul. Plus Andrea and I have too much fun with pretzels, talking about boys, and being dumb in general. It's great fun.

First snow of the year today. I don't know whether to be excited or to be not excited. I just hope Halloween isn't too cold. I remember the last time it snowed this early that on Halloween night I had 4 inches of snow around the brim of my witch hat. It was so cold that year. But we got TONS of candy because everyone else had all ready stopped trick-or-treating. People pretty much just dumped their bowls into our sacks. Great fun.

Cold, cold, cold.

This has been a freaking random post. I've even stopped trying to follow my trainless (say what?) thoughts.

Tomorrow is Wednesday. One day closer to Friday! AND I'm calling my friend tomorrow night! Woot, woot! *hearts*

stealing a word from spider, i dub this post "awardage"...

Yes, I stole your word, spider. Because I find it pretty much amazing. Kinda like you. :)

spider over at Spider spins a web has given me an award! Here it is:

The Rules:

Follow them carefully, peoples! It's important! :)

1. Copy the Kreativ Blogger picture and post it on your page
2. Thank the person who gave it to you and link back to their blog
3. Write seven things about you that we don’t know
4. Choose seven other bloggers that you would like to give the award to
5. Link to the bloggers that you choose
6. Let the winners know that they have the lovely award.

Seven Things About Me That You Don't Know...

1. Are there 7 things about me that you don't know? I'm kind of an open book. I guess that's the first one. But did you all ready know that?
2. I get really attached to people, but I am often terrified to contact them to say hello.
3. You can often find me singing in the car with the windows rolled down and the radio turned up. It's rather embarrassing for my friends, but not my sisters. They join right in.
4. I get way, way, way bored during movies. Even when it's a movie I love or a movie I chose to watch with the family, I usually end up leaving an hour into it. It's not because of the quality or because I don't like it; I just have other things I'd rather be doing.
5. Often times I will imagine myself in situations or doing things with people and won't realize that I'm actually talking out loud to myself and those people. Awkward.
6. I play Farmville. Yes. I confess.
7. I have only ever been asked on one non-dance date in my life. Usually when I go on a date that isn't to a school dance, I'm the one who has asked the boy out. Really, I'm a fun person. I'm just shy. But! If I like him enough or find him funny/nice/smart/interesting/a good friend, I will eventually ask him on a date. I don't want to wait forever to have fun. And dating is so fun!
   

That's my seven. You probably all ready knew all of those, though. *reads list again* Oh, boy. I am soooo lazy that I don't want to do the links. Lol. I will anyway. Let's see....to the ama-za-sing:

1. Coleman at ~Wizard~
2. Margaret at Finnegan Begin Again
3. Fringe Girl at the domestic fringe
4. Nathan at SPACE STATION NATHAN
5. Jewel at Pink Ink
6. The Solitary Writer at The Solitary Writer
7. Tova Darling at Secret Life of Tova Darling

Woot, woot! There ya have it, peoples!

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I actually felt really good about the ACT. Last time I had to guess on the final 10-15 questions on the Math and Science portions, and I was really not comprehending what I was reading. I got a 31 on that section, but I still felt like I could and should have done better.

This time I finished ALL of the sections early, and I felt good about most of them, even the math. I did guess on maybe 1/3 of the math, because some of it I've never seen before (i'm mathematically incompetent and want to throw my algebra ii book out the window most days-i refrain and chuck it at the wall instead. seriously, i've done it probably three times this year). I was really surprised about the Science section; for some reason I was understanding things I'd never even heard of before.

The essay question (i took the writing portion this time) was freaking easy-argue whether or not a financial literacy class of some sort should be required for high school graduation. Well, duh it should be required. It's something that we can actually USE, unlike this imaginary number crap. I will never use it. I mean, heck, I'm not planning on an engineering career and very few people in the US are. I'm never going to build a bridge (unless it's a wooden one to cross a stream, aka a piece of plank that's long enough to go across and thick enough to hold someone's weight, which is easy enough with a test subject who can swim) so what's the use of this freaking Trigonometry and Calculus and Algebra? To pay math geniuses salaries, I guess. Stop handing me useless junk and give me the tools I need to build my future. Anyway, tangent over. Sorry. I hate math. Can you tell? :)

So back to the point. For some reason, I really did understand the questions and the reading. I was able to easily understand the material and answer questions, and it took me half the time. I think it was because I asked my Heavenly Father for help last night. Call me crazy or call me a Mormon, it really helped me. Some of the things I was promised really struck a chord in my heart and mind. It was like I knew I was going to do well because I was told specifically that I would have special help "because of your faith". You don't have to believe it. You can call it mumbo jumbo if you want to, but I know it's true. I'm so glad that I do.

My friend Arielle and I studied for our Communications final on Tuesday today at her house. We both had fried brains-hers because of her English research paper and mine because of the test. At least it was fun. I'm glad I've had a chance to get to know her. I only knew that she drove me crazy in Environmental Science last year because she was always talking and goofing off. She's actually a really cool person; she's changed a lot during the summer. Arielle told me that last year she thought I was too shy and too smart. She said I've changed over the summer. Oh, I know it. I think we could be really good friends. That makes me happy; I need some close friends who I actually have classes with. Thank goodness for these new choir classes. Answer to prayer, for reals.

I think I'm going to go sleep now. Maybe. I don't know. I always say that and then it never happens. Oh! Movie recommendation: "Confessions of a Shopaholic". Oh, gosh, FUNNY!!! It's totally illogical, but hey, it's a movie so they can get away with it. Try it out. It is so great.

Tootles!

hectic...

I've been so busy. Shopping, working, rehearsing, volunteering, and just trying to keep my head above water has taken up most of my time lately. Here's the general idea of what's gone on:

1. Tuesday we had our first full run for Oz. It went...okay.

2. My last summer day volunteering at the library was on Tuesday morning, and it was the day that I finally got my volunteer badge. Funny how that works.

3. Wednesday the girls, mom, and I went shopping for school stuff (mostly for my sisters) and things for costumes. We found gorgeous gold hair clips to use for MOLO. I'm way excited.

4. Rehearsal went surprisingly well. Show run time at this present day is 2 hours 8 minutes. Not bad.

5. The first day of school was today. It sucked, but could have been worse. Sarah Hawkins sits next to me in math, so we are having too much fun. Algebraic equations are not supposed to be fun. At least according to the other students in the class. It will be super weird being one of three seniors in Algebra II. Most of the others are stuck up little sophomores. Seriously, those kids have ISSUES this year.

6. I really, really, REALLY want to take Mr. Jackman's Health Science class. So, I'm dropping Woods tomorrow to take H.S. instead. YAY!!!

7. I don't have rehearsal tonight, which is why I'm snagging a minute to write this.

8. My manager forgot that I don't get out of class until 3:15 on Tuesdays and Thursdays this fall. He has me scheduled to work every Tuesday at 3:00, and I can't even get there until 3:30 or 3:40.

9. The box holding my pasta salad in my Spiderman lunch bag leaked all over. I'm SO glad that we bought lunch box/bags instead of using paper sacks. Phew.

10. I'm exhausted.

11. AND I need to find a 15-30 second monologue to memorize because I'm auditioning for "Guys and Dolls" at my high school on Monday or Tuesday. I won't get a really good part because Mr. Criman, the drama man, always casts his drama students in the leads. Which is kind of sad, because some of them suck and some of them just have crappy attitudes and are way rude to everyone else. :P

Good bye. I'm going to watch "Avatar" now, because my homework is done. :P