doubt...

My mind has been full of big, frightening, unwanted thoughts. Questions have arisen that I've never allowed myself to dwell on before, and for a few days I've wrestled with answers that alternately make me laugh or terrify me (because I have nothing else to think about right now).

While reading my Democracy in America book by Alexis de Tocqueville (which was supposed to be completed last Friday -- hey, it's a big book), I ran across something that made me feel angry, silly, and relieved, but also more uncertain. Here Tocqueville quotes Pascal, French philosopher:

"To make a mistake by thinking the Christian religion is true is not a very great loss, but how unfortunate to make the mistake of believing it is false!"

Interesting thought, which somehow still doesn't satisfy the questions that have slipped their way into my head.