Saturday, February 28, 2009

*sighness much*...

Saw Twilight again today. I was hesitant to see it a second time, because I really didn't think it was a good enough movie to watch twice in the theaters.

Well, I was wrong. I still find it shallow and some parts are slow, but I enjoyed it a lot. I miss the conversations and the self-doubt that Bella has about herself (how she points out her obvious flaws to Edward when she wonders why he likes her, and he counters them with the strengths that he loves), and I wish it had been more about the real love that they have instead of lust. Ah well. Real love doesn't sell; it all has to be superficial and "exciting."

Popcorn and drinks are SO EXPENSIVE!!! When the total came up for a water bottle and a small popcorn ($9.50!!! Eeek!) my jaw dropped. I have obviously not been to a movie in a very long time. There goes the rest of my play money for the month. At least I ordered my 13th Reality books before today.

And just for the record, Barrack Obama is a liar. (And don't tell me to shut my yaptrap, because as far as I know I still have freedom of speech and press, which is given to me under the Constitution and the first ammendment of the Bill of Rights. The bomb getting rid of that has not been dropped. Yet.) Reducing abortion has turned into getting rid of the law which protects doctors who refuse to do abortions due to their religious/personal beliefs. If the law passes (more like when), the doctors can then be sued by patients if they refuse to perform an abortion. Know what that means? I'll tell ya, then.

Over 600 Catholic run hospitals will close because they will not perform abortions (I looked it up). Which means that all of those people will have to find somewhere else to get their medical help, which means that they will turn to the government for health care. And with the government telling businesses (yes, hospitals are business) what to do, you no longer have capitalism. If you follow this train of thought further, by logical reasoning you can only come up with something like this: communism.

Unless of course I'm a completely stupid out-of-the-loop ignoramus, which I highly doubt, this is NOT a good thing. See what you voted for? *sigh* I wish things had turned out differently. Pray that things will work out. I know that D&C 122 says that "all things shall be for your good" or something like that, but still. How much bad do we have to face until the good comes out?

I'm done now. I don't know how I went from Twilight to abortion, but it happened. And my hands are freezing cold, so I think I'll stop typing now. Which I said up there. Dang it. I'm redundant.

Friday, February 27, 2009

draper temple...

Tonight was one of the many nights in which the new temple in Draper is open to the public to visit. The Open House has been going on for, I dunno, a couple of months and ends sometime in March (the 11?). My family and I arrived at the chapel where we were to park our car and board a bus to tour the Draper Temple, which will be dedicated in March of this year. We got there at about 7:30 and didn't end up leaving until after 8:30, due to the number of people who cut us in line. The volunteers and missionaries who were in charge weren't very organized. We watched a movie about temples (which is pretty boring for a Seminary student, ah, well) and finally got on a bus. Then we walked through a mile long, white tent tunnel (not a mile, but when you can't see where you're going it feels longer) and reached the temple.

I will be perfectly honest. I was bored. I'm the type of person who spends, like, ten minutes in an art exhibit when my mother spends ten at each painting. Walking from room to room to room for me is boring. I suppose I'm ADD or something, because there were a couple of rooms that fascinated me and I didn't want to leave. The Celestial Room chandelier made me start to go through possible ways that it could fall, such as earthquake, wind, faulty installation, et cetera. My paranoia showing again. It was beautiful though, and fascinating to look at.

The Bride's Dressing Room was gorgeous, and I've decided to decorate my room in a similar style. Another cool thing was the bathroom. It was amazingly pretty. I'm glad I won't have to clean them, though. They're completely carpeted. Even in the stalls. The Baptismal Font was neat to see, too. And the stained glass and wood working. All of the wood is African Cherry. That stuff costs a LOAD of money. Gorgeous stuff, and super nice to work with. Mr. Haight had a block of that and a block of zebra wood, each worth $50 for less than five pounds. Oy.

There was one room that I remember particularly well: the Sealing Room. I sat in the chair where the bride sits, and for some reason I felt odd. Well, I know what it was, but it was strong. The peace made my heart pound and my chest burn. Peace + pounding heart = oxymoron, but it works. It was totally worth the long walk, the long wait, and the heat.

The stake center next to the temple had an art display on, live music, and refreshments. I will say it again, BYU cookies are the best ever. My dad saw some friends of his who used to live in our ward, and I was able to speak a little bit of Spanish to them. I understand better than I speak; I forget everything and just kind of smile and stumble through Spanish 1 equivalent sentences. Ah, well. The treats were good.

It was cold outside. As we waited for the bus ride back to the church where our car was parked, my sisters and I began jumping up and down and singing songs like "Kookabura", "When the Saints Go Marching In", "The Pioneer Song", and "Horsey, Horsey". Not only did we warm up but we entertained the other people in line. They thought we were crazy, but they were freezing and we weren't. Ha.

While driving back, my sisters and I started to get silly. Here's one of the things we came up with:

"In the beginning, Adam married Eve. In the end, Eve killed Adam." (copyright, please don't use without asking me first)

Dad: "I wonder if Adam outlived Eve."
Meghan: "How could he? Eve killed him!" (also, please don't use without asking me first. gracias!)
Sarah: "Yeah, dad, pay attention!"
Amanda: "Sheesh."

I'm glad I went though. There was that special moment that made it totally worth it. And of course, the cookies and water bottles. The way to my heart is through my stomach. Nah, just kidding. But it's true for my beagle.

anxiously engaqed...

In mostly nothing. You could say that I skipped school today, but since it's because I'm ill again there is a legit excuse. I do have to go take the last half of a science test at 1:15, though. I'll probably fail-I can't do the math parts.

The mostly nothing, however, has to do with.......... reading books! Which is a good nothing, seeing as I'd rather be doing that than a powerpoint on Basco, Spain for Spanish. So I've been reading a couple of books. I started the first book in The 13th Reality series during Study Hall yesterday.It's called The Journal of Curious Letters. I have to thank James Dashner for coming up with that brain child because I absolutely LOVE it. Can't wait to read the next one. I wanted to just read the book straight through, because I kept getting stopped in class while reading a clue and losing my train of thought. Grrr. I had to wait until after mutual to start reading it again, and I finished it around three in the morning (hey, I couldn't sleep whatsoever, so I did my laundry and read).

The one I started a couple of days ago is called Cybele's Secret. It's the sequel/companion novel to Wildwood Dancing, and I love both of them. They're super good, and I love the main characters. I didn't like Paula very much in Wildwood Dancing, but as the main character in the sequel you get to know her better. She kind of reminds me of myself, sometimes. Only bolder.

SNM last night was amazing. I helped teach the lesson, which was on learning to be a missionary. We got to taste all sorts of different foods. I was the only one who liked goat cheese, which tastes like a stronger type of cream cheese, and no one liked the coconut water. Weird stuff, that drink. Karob (karob? carob? dunno) was bitter, and the danishes were sweet. All in all, it was good. We also painted wind chimes for the craft activity. Mine's purple, white, and green, all mixed together (nicely) to look sort of like a storm. Well, to me it does. If I ever get a camera for my mom (remember I broke hers), I'll post a picture to show you.

I love SNM. It's seriously the best thing that's ever happened to me. And I love The 13th Reality. And Cybele's Secret. And Wildwood Dancing. I guess I'm anxiously engaged in loving things. :)

Thursday, February 26, 2009

whose town is it now?

That's right. Mountain View has totally WIPED OUT Orem's basketball teams the past two nights in a row. So when they say "O Town, Our Town" can they really claim that? I personally think that it's a total lie.

Two of my own creations:

1. Wanna know why they called it Orem High? 'Cause they couldn't spell Mountain View!!!

2. Bruin: Well, you know how tigers got their stripes, right?
Tiger: No.
Bruin: No? I'll tell you then. Come here, it's a secret......


We win, baby! :D You canNOT take that Bruin Pride! It's OUR territory now!!

(And would you believe it if I told you I don't care about sports? No, you probably wouldn't. But it's the truth. I am like, zero school spirit of the century. Ask Q, she'll tell you so. Or TC, or Chels, or Tsuki Bear. They'll all concur.)

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

let me die now...


Phew. Okay, now that that's done, I will explain:

Tonight at the library, James Christensen, internationally known artist, gave a free lecture. I went with my family instead of going to mutual, and listened as he spoke about some of his paintings and his new book, "Men and Angels". I have always loved his art and was so excited for this opportunity to meet the man.

Well, I didn't realize that he is older, so I walked right past him when I got there. Stupid of me, really. But, it was fine in the end. After standing in line for an hour and ten minutes (my sisters and I were butted repeatedly, but I was too afraid to say anything and wouldn't let them either for fear of being yelled at), we made a new friend. Coleman is his name, and he lives in our area/Stake. He's a few years younger than me, but he's SUPER smart, totally artistic, and a budding writer. So, all of us hit it off immediately. It was so nice to talk to this boy. Coleman is my new brother. He doesn't know it yet, but he is.

After standing in line for a long time, we finally made it to the table where Mr. Christensen was signing people's books and papers. I had my sketchbook with me, and some little scraps of paper that I'd found. When I got to the table with Coleman and my sisters, we all started freaking out. "Oh my gosh, he's right there! Right there! He's going to sign our stuff, can you see him? Ah!" et cetera. One of the ladies told me it was fine that I was excited, but please don't faint. I replied, "I won't. He's not cute enough to faint over." I only meant my sisters and Coleman and his mom to hear it, but the ladies and even Mr. Christensen heard me. *gulp* Oops.

He signed my book anyway, after teasing me a bit and looking over my sketches. He told me that they looked good and not to worry about reality styles; each person draws differently and who cares what other people say? When he signed his name, he wrote "Work Hard!" underneath it, winked, and handed it back to me.

*sigh* I'm so happy.

And Q, I learned how to hyperlink. YAY!!!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009


As of today, I now know what the term "trippin'" means. Here's what happened:

In my Spanish 4 class today, several of my classmates were making jokes when my teacher told Leon that he would put some information in Leon's file. Leon freaked out, crying "Wait, I have a FILE?" Everyone started to laugh and joke about the file. They were all laughing and saying how the files in our teacher's room would incriminate Leon and make it impossible for him to get a job, blah, blah, blah.

I had no idea what they were talking about or why it was funny. Senor Mijares asked a student to translate for me why it was funny, but he never got around to it because he was laughing so hard. Calmly I told them that, duh, every single one of us has a file down in the office which has kept track of our schooling since we were enrolled in Kindergarten. They all stared at me and one of them proceeded to say that I was trippin'.

When I asked what that meant, they all started to laugh again. The boy who said I was whatever that was said it was like high or on one or something like that. The light clicked. "Oh!" I said, "So it's like a colloquialism!"

Dead silent, except for the raucous laughter of Senor Mijares and Mr. Cooper. Someone asked what a colloquialism is, and I took it upon myself to explain. "A colloquialism is a word or set of words which are native to a region, country, or culture. These words are also known as slang," I told them. Still dead silence, broken by the second burst of laughter from my teachers.

After this outburst in class, we set to work. We're learning the Future tense and Conditional Tense. One of the boys was called on to create a sentence for the class. He decided to make fun of his friend, Buck. Let me remind you they're both straight, just fyi. He (Breton) cleared his throat and said, "Esta noche, sacaria Buck en un dato, pero estoy feo." What he tried to say was "Tonight I would take Buck on a date, but he's ugly." What he really said (or in a sense said, I don't know if he used the right words) "Tonight I would take Buck on a date, but I'm ugly."

I laughed so hard! But no one else caught the wrong form of estar. He used "estoy," which is the first person singular of the verb. Baha!!! So while I was laughing, no one else got it. Senor Mijares called on me to explain the error. It was pretty much awesome.

Spanish class was the funniest part of my day. I went from not knowing anything about what they were talking about to completely turning the tables on them. I love being informed. ;)

*sigh* No homework tonight, or any homework that is absolutely necessary to my passing the classes. Ceramics is frustrating again because I keep dropping my clay on the floor. Slippery hands. AP Environmental Science was deadly boring, so I left with the hall pass when I started to fall asleep. Just went into the girls' bathroom and talked to some of the girls in Drama class who were in there. It's what girls do. Seminary was super fun. Most of the people were gone to go to the basketball game in Salt Lake (tournament game for the Lady Bruins-I heard we won), so we played a Scripture Mastery game the whole time. I scored like, 20 points for my team. Yes!

And now, ladies and gentlemen, a huge and heartfelt shout out to:


Monday, February 23, 2009

zonked out...



Hi! Sorry about that. That's pretty much been me all day today. NyQuil is one of the culprits. And then there's the fact that it was a Monday. Mondays seem so much longer than other school days, even though we get out an hour earlier. I think that's why-I spend so much time thinking about when the bell is going to ring to let me out earlier that the time passes soo..oo..oo..oo..oo.. s..l..o..w..l..y.. Not to mention I had a History test which I probably bombed again. And when I got home, I totally fell asleep for over four hours. 1:30 p.m. until 6:00 p.m. is a long time to fall asleep on a school day. Missing regular work schedule is murdering my sleeping schedule. Not that I had a sleep schedule in the first place.

Tests tomorrow. And homework tonight. This is going to be interesting.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

dark and dreary...

No longer is so! Yes, I decided to change my background. Call it perky or artsy or whatever, but I like it. I was getting tired of camouflage. You can't stay hidden forever, right?

Speaking of not so dark and dreary, the temperature was about 45 degrees (F) today. YES!!! I hope that spring comes soon. But when it does, I'll no longer complain about the cold but about allergies. Oy. We humans are never satisfied, are we?

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Queen of Hearts...

I wasn't asked to the Sweethearts dance this year, but to be perfectly honest, it doesn't matter. Instead, my sisters, my mom, and I went to the Queen of Hearts event at Gardner Village. I absolutely love the atmosphere there. The shops are all so quaint and pure-each one is housed in an old house or building from years ago. My favorite store is called Anastasia's Attic. It truly is a place for princesses and queens. No girl can enter that shop without longing for some glittering, beautiful object. And when she places one upon her neck or around her shoulders, that superficial beauty is transferred into glowing happiness upon her face. There is something special about beautiful things. It's almost as though we can hide our fears behind the glamor and transfer it to feel real.

Don't think that all I care about is the fake and unreal beauty of objects. There is nothing more beautiful than a young woman. Still, we have a hard time remembering our beauty. It's nice to have some object of beauty to help us realize our own.

Women and girls were wearing crowns and some in gowns and dresses. I dressed up in a gold and black costume that Amanda wore for Halloween last year. She wore my white and gold dress that I got for Halloween a few years ago. I love dress-up. I don't think I'll ever grow out of that.

At Anastasia's Attic, I purchased a tiara and two new hair clips to wear in my hair. Because of my purchases, they gave me a mini tiara (which I can place into my hair when I pin it up) and a small pocket knight to carry around for "love luck." At Sweet Afton's, the candy store, I purchased a bag of lemon drops and a black licorice pipe. The pipe is for my dad (I hate black licorice, but he loves it) and the lemon drops are in memory of a man who meant a lot to me. Those were his favorite candies. I love Sweet Afton's. It reminds me of Honeydukes in Harry Potter. It's bright, bustling, and full of wonderful things to look at and smell. I love moseying through the shop and just looking at everything there is to see.

We wandered around a few other shops and met the cat who "owns" The Village Christmas Shoppe. He is a black cat with a single white spot on his chest. His name is Snowball. Three years ago, Snowball wandered into the shop one snowy night. The workers kicked him out, and he came back. It happened three more times and still he came back. Soon, the real owner decided that the little cat had adopted them and made him the owner of her store. Snowball is an interesting cat with an extremely business-like attitude. If you were just browsing, he would sort of try to herd you out the door. If you were seriously interested in an item, he watched you to see if you'd pocket it. I think he's quite the good "watchdog" and salesperson. "Interested? Stay as long as you'd like. Not purchasing? Good-bye."

I had a lovely chicken pot pie for dinner, followed by a delicious, rich Oreo Dream Bar. Those are absolutely divine. Or as Amy from "Little Women" says, aren't these desserts "divinity?"

Really, Gardner Village is like a Muggle Hogsmeade or Diagon Alley. It has it's own sort of magic. I love it there.

Friday, February 20, 2009


I find that I am most confident in my abilities when I wear red sweatpants, a maroon Cabela's coat, a lightweight backpack on my back, and my hair in a half ponytail secured with a diamond barrete (spelling?). The outfit doesn't fit together well, but I fit well in it. On days like that I can walk slowly with a sort of comfortable slumping yet erect gait, my hands hooked in my pockets, sauntering down the hallways without worrying what others think.

Days like that are good days. I feel completely comfortable with who I am. I like these days.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

in and out...

Of love. It's an interesting position to be in. Some days, I feel completely and utterly furious with the fool who's caught my eye. Then the next day, I feel completely and utterly enamored with that same fool. I start to wonder who the real fool is, myself or the boy. I suppose it's me and I only think him foolish because I like him so much.

The power of this arrangement goes from awful and agonizing to eager and exhilarating. Even during the times when I know he's going to say something stupid or act in a way that hurts, I count the hours until I see him again. My whole being feels bouncy and excited when I think of being in the same room with this boy. I don't even realize it sometimes. Random thoughts appear, at night or during a particularly uninteresting lecture. Or maybe it's only boring because I'm thinking of something else.

The outfits in my closet are planned in my dreams to see how I can possibly impress him and look my best. Conversations are played out in my head, scripting my words and trying to predict his. I hold his words and compliments in my head like a child gazes at a jewel bright butterfly. His smile and his laugh ring again and again in my head. It's worse than having a song stuck there because it's just a replay of the original, and the whole time I wish that I could just be close to him, actually see his smile and hear him laugh.

ARG! I'm so STUPID! It must be nearing spring time. "Bambi Syndrome." Twitterpated. You never think it's going to happen, and then...WOMP. Smacks you right in the chest and sticks itself there. Like a bad cold that won't go away (speaking of which...). Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

courage comes in small packages...

I want to be like this girl. Twelve-year-old "Lia" from Toronto, Canada, speaks on abortion. Read the article, then watch the clip. Copy and paste the link into your web browser! Just do it! (please ;)

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

10 honest to goodness facts about moi...

Write ten honest things about yourself, then tag a few other bloggers whose blogs you really like.

1. I'm sitting in Study Hall.

2. I hate Study Hall.

3. I like to write with orange pens. But not blue. I really detest blue ink.

4. My current love: heart flair on Facebook.

5. I have to give a presentation today and I really, really don't want to because I just KNOW that someone in my class is going to make fun of me the entire time without stopping. My friend (sitting next to me) suggested that I give him the Glare of Death during the presentation. I think I will. 'Cause he deserves it, fool.

6. I randomly get chills.

7. I don't believe in ghosts, but I like to write about them.

8. I need extra credit in AP US History (APUSH), and Parent Teacher Conferences are tomorrow and I'm failing five of my seven classes. Oy.

9. I probably should have put foundation on today, because I have large black circles under my eyes. It looks like somebody punched me, but really I was up late staring at the ceiling. My one consolation: my apple tree is notorious for cat fights underneath it. I got tired of listening to the yowling, spitting, screeching noise, so I sneaked out of my bedroom window really quietly (no screen), crept up behind them, and yowled. Both cats screamed and took off like bullets. Very funny.

10. I have an idea for a short story, but actually sitting down to write it is hard.

'Tis moi.

I tag nobody, because I still can't figure it out. :)

Monday, February 16, 2009


Here are some pictures that I found on the Internet that I want to practice drawing. I find it a lot easier for me to copy elements of a drawing (hand shape, trees, figures, etc.) than to visualize it in my own head. I'm not very good at seeing a picture in my head. If it's a movie that I'd like to shoot, a story to write, or a song to sing, it comes easily. But if it's a drawing, a sculpture, or something of the like, it helps if I have references.

The website where I found most of these is

There are a ton more that I want to play with, but I have to get up the confidence to actually start sketching. I'm horrid at drawing and such, but I want to be good at it.

first song...

I awoke today to a strange, happy sound outside my window. I laid still with my eyes closed for several minutes, trying to place the sound from my memory. It was sweet and familiar, but what could it possibly be?

And then I remembered. I was hearing the first notes of birdsong. How sweet it was to hear that joyful sound for the first time in months. I went outside in my pajamas, hair undone, puppies dancing around my feet. There is still snow on the ground, but I went barefooted, anyway. I watched and listened, waiting.

Soon the air was full of cheeping, whistling, and darting shadows, swooping and looping through around my yard. I laughed and spread my arms out wide, breathing in the damp earth and feeling the crisp, wintry air on my cheeks. It was so good to be alive.

Then I started to cough, and my dogs started to bark. The magic of the moment broke, and the birds fled to the grapevines.

Forgetting the sound tells me how long and dark this winter has been.

Sunday, February 15, 2009


I couldn't think of a title for this post, so I'll just leave that there.

My mom rented the movie "Deep Blue" from the library. At the part about the sea lions and the killer whales, I cried and cried so hard that my mom shut off the DVD player. I cried for almost half an hour. Misty crawled onto my lap and cried while she kissed my cheeks, and Buddy kept nosing my knee. Meghan, my younger sister, was crying too.

Just thinking about it is making me start to cry again, so I'll write about something else. We put in an episode of "The Waltons". Just the theme music is enough to cheer me up. The show is so happy and full of love. I really like it, and it always helps me to feel better.

Went to church for Sacrament Meeting, but I kept coughing so much that I was distracting everyone else and I went home. I slept for about four hours (yay!!!). And then I got online and made a new friend! He's in Amanda's English and History GT (gifted and talented, aka the Advanced Placement English and History Academic Seventh and Eighth Grade Program [what a mouthful!] at Lakeridge) class, and his name is Alex. He is such a funny kid, and he's really smart. I'm glad he's my new friend.

No school tomorrow. Yes. That makes me happy. I can catch up on my homework. Not so happy, but it will make me happy later on, I suppose. :D Boy, I'm in a random mood. I guess that's what happens to me when I have a crying fit. I'm not embarrassed, just very sad. I'm dumb, but that's the way I am.


Saturday, February 14, 2009

humbled but sad...

As everyone knows, the economy sucks and people are losing their jobs right and left. I will join that group at the end of May. Yes, the school districts have been hit hard, and Centennial is one of them. My boss, Joe, and my supervisor, Wade, talked to me yesterday and told me that there won't be a position for me starting in June. They told me that it isn't because of me or my work; it's because the budget for the coming year has been cut dramatically. I wouldn't even have a job through May if Joe's boss (the principal) had had his way, but Joe and Wade told him that I'm using this job to pay for school. Even then, I'll only be working five hours a week instead of ten. But here's the reason why I get to keep hours at all:

So I can keep my job for the next three months, Joe, Wade, Michelle, and Dustin each cut their hours so I can stay on. Dustin and Michelle are both going to school, like me. Joe has a family, and Wade has nephews that he does things with. I feel really humbled and appreciated that they would do something like that. I also feel sort of sad about it, because I don't want them to lose work because of me.

It's probably the best Valentine's present I've ever received. The best thing about this job hasn't been the money or the flexible schedule. It's been the people that I work with. They're some of my best friends. It feels really good to have such good friends. I hope I can make it up to each of them someday.

secret, secret...

I was given a half a dozen roses from an anonymous person yesterday. :) Makes me happy.

I bought six roses of my own for my family. I gave my sisters and my mom the roses that I bought later in the evening. The roses I received from someone else I traded with Mr. Steadman for five medallions that he made. He kind of offered to buy my roses as a joke, but he seemed sort of desperate. I was going to keep them, but when he started getting serious about purchasing the roses and I kept saying no, he offered me jewelry as a trade. I kept one rose (the fullest one, lol) and traded the other five. Mr. Steadman's family has been struggling, I guess. He just had surgery and I think his wife is sick. It made me feel good to sort of help him out. The medallions are really nice. My favorite one is shaped like a sand dollar.

Karly, my friend, thinks that Tony gave me the roses. I disagree. Tony told me once that he could never be romantic, and even if he tried, no one would take him seriously. I sort of agree with that. :) Lol, I'd probably think he was making fun of me or something.

Q got a rose, too. From who, she doesn't know. *squee!!!* Kevin bought one for himself because he wanted a flower, and several of my girl friends got flowers, too. A couple of boys in my classes received Valentunes from secret admirers. My science lab partner, Spencer, was so red you could have fried an egg on his face!

My sister and her friend are recording for History Fair right now. Meghan wants me to go away. All of my tries at helping have been smacked down, and she's being really mean. She keeps calling me names and telling me I'm stupid. Ah, well. They've been doing this for over four hours, so I guess it's understandable. She's frustrated.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

recalled to life...

I know how that feels now. I have always loved the book "A Tale of Two Cities", written by Charles Dickens. By I really know how it feels to be "recalled to life."

As you could probably tell from my last posts (January on) I've been in sort of the bottom of a depression for awhile. My mom finally convinced me to seek help from the Lord, and I have been liberated for awhile of the adversary's influence. It's like I've been given a second chance. It's awesome. I know I'll be battered on again, but now I know how to get out of it.

Tonight was amazing, btw. I went to SNM again, seeing as it's Thursday. It was their annual Valentine's Day Dance. Honestly, it was the best dance I have ever been to. The kids were all so happy and excited to be there. You have absolutely no idea how much endless energy special needs kids have until you invite them to a dance. They "break-danced," lip synced to High School Musical, Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus, and even Garth Brooks. They air guitared, did the Boot Scootin' Boogie and Cotton-eyed Joe, formed trains, and just had a grand old time. There was absolutely no way you could feel out of place or self-conscious. I have never felt so wonderful with a bunch of people before. I just fit in, because everyone did.

Sheleena gets louder and more outgoing every week. It's awesome to see her grow and change. I hope that I'm helping her to take more opportunities; tonight I convinced her to ask a boy to dance. She was so proud of herself after wards. I love that girl. She's amazing.

One sad thing-my sisters and mom are super sick. I'm nearly better; well enough to go to school is good enough for me! So it's sad for them that they're sick. But sad for me is that they've been watching Lord of the Rings. WithOUT me!!! *sob* Ah, well. I have to do homework, anyway.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

global warming...

I went to another lecture at the library tonight. It was given by Dr. William Dinklage, a professor at UVU. The topic was "Caring for the Earth." At least that's what it said on the library program that the school gave to me. Really it was entitled "Lessons from the Mud: Global Warming" or something like that. Somewhat misleading, because I thought it would have to do with implementing recycling programs or something like that. However, when it comes to caring for the Earth, global warming is bound to come up. Silly of me for not realizing it sooner.

The mud reference was to the small forams, which are small sea creatures that create their shells through CaCO2 (there isn't a subscript option here, so just know that that's carbon dioxide). Dr. Dinklage talked about how there are all sorts of different data that points to the anthropogenic cause of global warming. I asked a few questions at the end, and we got into sort of a discussion together about how it could be that there are natural causes of the warming phase, coupled with human causes. I suggested that if those factors were put together, with the natural rise of temperature being accelerated by human energy use, then the culprit might not only be us. He seemed intrigued and asked if I wanted to go into science. He seemed surprised when I told him no, I want to write fiction.

It was nice to speak with an intelligent, although extremely liberal by my standards, person who was excited by a student's questioning and not offended or put out. He didn't treat me like I was stupid or not smart enough to be at his lecture. He engaged me in conversation and asked questions to see if I could come up with a logical idea. Not that he was trying to trick me, no, I didn't feel like that at all. It felt more like he was trying to see how far I would take the topic and what other arguments I could come up with. Luckily I had my field book with my notes from class so I could show him that I knew what I was talking about and back up my ideas and questions with facts. It was very entertaining and exhilirating.

All in all I had a great time. I wish there were more adults like that, especially those who have PhD's and other certificates. Then perhaps more people would be inclined to try pushing education to its limits, if only they weren't made to feel inferior.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

cabin fever...

I FINALLY got out of the house today. I've been going nuts to see something other than my messy house. It was for school, but heck, one of my favorite places on Earth was the location!!!

My sister and I had the opportunity for extra credit in our science classes, and of course we were going to take it! The public library (I ADORE the library) is having a series of lectures on different sciences. Tonight I drove Meghan and myself over to the library, and we had a lovely time learning about Forensic Sciences and Crime Scene Investigation. I took some notes to show my teacher, and I'll be going to three or four more. Excited!!!

While at the library, I ran into Suzzie. I love that girl so much. She's amazing! We looked at books together and each recommended some. I think I handed her one or two, and she handed me four or five. We both love to read, but she's read a greater variety than I have. I'm excited to try the books she gave me.

Now I need advice: my chest has been hurting a lot. Each time I cough, sharp pain runs through my chest, and it's getting harder and harder to breath. Should I or should I not go to the doctor again?

Monday, February 9, 2009

recording in session, do not knock...

So, History Fair crunch time has reared its ugly head in my home again. I have two sisters who are in the Advanced Placement English/History 7th and 8th grade program (one's a sevie, the other's in eighth). The youngest, Amanda, is doing a research paper on George Washington, so she's all finished. Meghan, however, is doing a group documentary on J.R.R. Tolkien. (Oh, the theme is "Individual in History", btw.) She's put it off and put it off and put it off, which is a History Fair tradition in the GT class (that's the shortened thing for Gifted and Talented, or Geek in Training as we prefer). I've been helping her and her friend, Jenni, work on it today. They're using Windows Movie Maker, and there are some things about that program that drive me nuts.

First of all, you can't record a music track and overlay a voice track. I did a documentary in eighth grade as well, and it wouldn't let me do it then. I worked with a professional movie maker, so I know for sure that it doesn't work. Secondly, the transitions are choppy. Third, I can't adjust the sound very well. So yeah, it's dumb. But it's all we got, so at least I know how to use it, right?

While recording, of course everything went wrong. After the girls finished laughing their heads off about nothing (that always happens when you're doing a project, doesn't it?), we got to the end and the phone rang. Then I had a coughing fit, then the dogs got set off by the doorbell, then it started to rain and we had the window open, THEN Amanda and her friend burst into the room without reading the sign...yeah. It was interesting. All in all, we're not finished. We got about three minutes recorded. Yay, seven more to go.

Sunday, February 8, 2009


I don't know what to write about. I do know that these antibiotics are working really well, which is why I feel horrible and can't do much. I did read a book that was pretty good. It's called "Glint," and I can't remember who it's by. But it's good. Try it.

My family is watching "Emma Smith: My Story." I cried when I saw that movie the first time. Which is why I'm not watching it now, because crying is not something I feel like doing today. I supposed I should probably be doing my homework (I can actually read and write! The words don't move anymore!). Or I could put my laundry away. But why do something that I can put off until seven tonight or so? Lol.

Nothing, nothing, nothing. Hm. This is a total waste of a blog post, because nothing is coming for me to write that's actually interesting. Hm, hm, hm. Oh! I remember something. My dad is going to California several times this year for business, and guess where the office locations are? Can you say "Two hours away from Seaworld?" YES!!! YOU CAN!!! Because that's where they are. So, my family is going to be going with him a couple of times so that we can visit Seaworld, Scrip's (spelling?) Ranch (I ADORE sea hares, they're seriously one of my favorite animals) where you get to pet live sea creatures, and go to the beach. Dad's thinking about taking us the weekend after next so that I can go somewhere warm. Mom's starting to get sick, too. So's my dog, Misty, but it's something else. Dogs don't get people strains of sickness. Wouldn't it be good though, to go somewhere warm?

Poor Misty. It's so sad to listen to her "cough." Her barking is really husky, too. Instead of the sort of "grrrryip!" she does, it's "hrrrrrrup." It really sounds funny, but it's sad, too. This was funny, though; this morning when I was in bed, I had been dreaming about shopping for clothes when I became aware of someone else in my room. I felt like I was being watched. I opened my eyes, and there was Misty, standing next to me and staring into my face. She looked worried, so I guess I'd been coughing again. She's a sweet thing. Every time I'd start coughing, she'd cock her head to one side and whine.

Now that I've thought of things to write, I think I'll be done now. I like having a blog. It's my journal that I allow other people to read. Woot. I ramble a lot though. Ah, well.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

doctor's visit....

I went to the doctor's today. Turns out I've got a secondary infection of something in my face (sinuses?). Luckily Dr. Knochel had an antibiotic that can help, so hopefully I'll be better in a few days. If it gets worse, yay, I most likely have pneumonia. That would be dumb.

BUT-I had fun at the doctor's office. I colored with crayons and played with a Mr. Potato Head set. It had a potato man, a carrot man, and a corn man. I made the corn a girl, because the only set of arms left had a ring on the finger and puffy sleeves on the shoulder. I played that the corn man was the foreman, the potato man was the truck driver, and the corn woman was the owner of a farm. It was interesting. And yes, I was speaking out loud. My mom was laughing and told me she can't wait to see what I'm like when I play with my own kids.

Since we were all ready out, mom took me and my sisters to Panda Express for lunch. It's amazing how quickly congestion clears up after having a serving of orange chicken. That stuff is always sort of spicy (in my opinion, anyway), but today it packed a serious punch. I was so happy! I always forget how nice it is to breath until I can't. Makes me appreciate oxygen and clear air passages. :)

I just have to say, I adore Les Miserables. No, I don't love miserable people, even though I feel sorry for them and I'd like to help out. ;) Lol, my mom always says "You love miserables?" whenever I say I love that show. While we were in the car, we found the CD that my dad pretty much stole (he sings in the car a lot) so he could listen to it on the way to and from work. I put it in and blasted it, especially on "Who Am I?" and "Look Down," "Empty Chairs at Empty Tables," and "The Barricade." Yes, that music and story are fabulous. I tried to sing along, and failed rather miserably (haha). Funny, funny.

Off to bed now.

Friday, February 6, 2009

cough, cough...

I cannot stop coughing. Seriously. I don't know what this is, but it's stupid and I want it to go away. NOW!!!

Last night was fun. I went to SNM and saw my buddy, Sheleena. During the group activity, we made "iPods." I put quotations around that because, well, this is how it works. The only songs that they play are sappy Valentunes such as "Call Me, I'm Yours, Hot Stuff," and "Chill Out, Be Mine, Luv U." The earbuds are shaped like candy kisses. Get it yet? Yep. We MADE them out of conversation heart boxes, paper, stickers, yarn, and Hershey's kisses. What you do is this:

1. Tape two pieces of white or black yarn to the back of the candy heart box.
2. Fold the paper around the box and tape it closed.
3. Stick one large round sticker on the lower side of the box for the dial, and a rectangular one on the top for the display.
4. Tape two Hershey's kisses to the end of the yarn.

There you have it. Your iPod Valentune is ready to go! It was really fun. The special needs girls were lining up hearts, and us buddies would read them out loud for their "song." One girl was all excited to share her song with the group, but another Downs girl sitting next to the girl reached over to the line of hearts, scooped them into her hand, and popped them into her mouth. The girl with the song screamed out, "She just ATE my SONG!!!" The culprit chewed slowly and hung her head. She took her own iPod out of her coat pocked and handed it to the singer. "You can have mine," she whispered. The singer looked at it and said, "That's okay. I don't even like this candy." It was really cute.

Blargh, I'm coughing again. I hate this crap, whatever it is. I missed most of History today because Mr. Carpenter was tired of me interrupting his lecture with my incessant coughing. I spent most of the class period in the bathroom coughing. I did get to a phone and mom was able to bring some cough syrup (not Niquil, but just as bad if not worse). That helped.

I really, really, really want to get better.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009


That stuff makes me do crazy things. Well, not do crazy things. But dream them. Remember how I was all upset about Mr. Clark and my essays? Last night I dreamt that I sent Mr. Clark all of these mean messages and drew on his walls and stuff. Some of the stuff was pretty funny, but most of it was really mean. Honestly, I would never do that in real life. But it was funny to think about.

NyQuil seriously has hangover effects (not that I'd know, but I've heard the same from those who do). I've felt sort of dopey and slow all day. Woot. The worst part about NyQuil, though, is the taste. I hate the taste of black licorice. Always have, and probably always will. Well, Wal-Mart doesn't sell the cherry flavored cough syrup anymore (which didn't taste that great either), and the only stuff they have now is black licorice flavored. Yeeeeuck. The color is pretty cool. It's a dark, cool green, sort of how I imagine the under wing scales of a dragon might be (yes, I'm thinking about dragons). You'd think it would taste good, but no. Uh, uh. Double nada. It's gross!!!

Hm. I think I'll go have some more.

Just kidding.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

sick squared...

I should have stayed home today. Then again, I would have been miserable at home, so it was kind of a good thing that I went to school. At least I was miserable and caught up, instead of miserable and behind.

Everyone in my house says that the temperature is perfect. I think it's too cold. So mom stuck a thermometer in my mouth. Guess what? 103.5 degrees. Woot. Life is so great.

And I'm sick at heart, too. In science class, we graded our first test of the semester. I all ready knew that I pretty much failed it, but one of the girls had a question on the essay parts of my test that she was grading. I knew it was mine, because I looked over and saw the handwriting, plus I remembered my answers. Mr. Clark shredded them to bits. He said, "It's obvious that whoever wrote this likes to write and should have stayed out of the science field," and "This person isn't smart enough to remember what we talked about in class, so it's a no-brainer that they deserve zero points. Duh," and "Who is this? Did they even know they were in AP Environmental Science?" Et cetera, et cetera.

I only didn't begin to cry because everyone would know it was me. Even though a lot of people did know it was me. I bet they could tell because my cheeks were seriously on fire, and one of my friends in the front row turned around and smiled at me sympathetically.

I knew I was a loser. This just proves it.

Monday, February 2, 2009


I have no idea what it is, but I cannot get better. I'm seriously sick every other day or so. Today has been really bad. I hate being sick.

And sorry if my next posts have horrible spelling/errors. My own laptop won't recognize the charger I have, so it's completely dead. The monitor on the family computer won't turn on (I did check the cables), and the family laptop only has half of the screen visible because one half of the pixels "shattered" when it got dropped a few years ago. So yeah.

I'm sick and my computers are sick. Joy. At least school starts late tomorrow. That makes life better.

Sunday, February 1, 2009


I'm thinking about moving in with my gradparents for the summer. I don't know for sure. Just an idea.

In my Ceramics class, we're watching the movie "The Power of One." I like it, except for the really violent parts. I close my eyes when they happen, otherwise I'll probably be sick. I do like this part. It's an exchange between Doc, the German professor, and P.K., the main character. He's about seven years old at the time of this scene. P.K. is very sad, because his mother died, and mean boys (Afrikaners) killed his chicken, Masibindi, because P.K. is English. P.K. is living with his grandfather, who knows "absolutely nothing about children," and decides to send his friend, Doc, to see P.K.

Here's the scene:

Doc: You know, my donkey, Beethoven, once told me a remedy of curing sadness in little boys. Would you like to try it?

[P.K nods]

Doc: Okay, stand up, on this brick wall, stand on one leg, good, now close your eyes, say three times "absoloodle".

P.K. Age 7: Absoloodle, absoloodle, absoloodle.

Doc: Feel better?

[P.K shakes his head]

Doc: No? I guess it proves one thing then.

P.K. Age 7: What's that?

Doc: Never take advice from a donkey.