Friday, October 30, 2009

new friends...

So, Zach has a sister who is not really his sister but is at the same time (huh?). I've heard a lot about her, and from the stories she seems pretty amazing. That turned out to be true tonight.

We actually couldn't go to the concert. Zach's performance group was only on for three numbers, and the tickets were a little too much for me right now. All of my paycheck went to choir tour for this week, so I couldn't do it. I felt really bad; I'd promised I'd go and then things just happened. *sigh* He wasn't mad, though. Just kind of sad that we didn't get to see it. I was too.

Anyway, I got to meet this amazing sister to my best friend. Her name is Noelle and she really is freaking amazing. Want to hear how I met her? Okay. :) I was kind of hesitant to go up to see Zach because I wasn't sure if he was totally finished with the performance, so I waited. Then he gave me his "look", the one he gives me when I'm hanging back or being shy. I finally went over and he gave me a HUGE hug, and I turned around and all of the sudden BAM! I hear this high pitched SCREAM of delight and then I was like "I'm being hugged?"

And it was Noelle. I recognized her from her Facebook profile, and then I screamed and hugged her back. It was more like a friend reunion than a first meeting. Zach was so excited, and kind of shocked at how well the two of us got on right away. I asked him if he'd mind being replaced, so I could have a new best friend. I was teasing, of course, and he totally got all "sad" and started to walk away. I had to go catch him, and it wasn't until I threw my arms around him from behind that he stopped and looked over his shoulder at me. It felt so nice, and so natural for about 5 seconds while we just looked at each other. Then he smiled and we both stepped apart at the same time. For another 5 seconds it was awkward. Thank heavens for Noelle; she saved it by coming over and asking me to "dance" and then falling on the ground.

Noelle is amazing. And I got to see Geyerman, Zach's other best friend, for a few minutes. And Jason, from Oz. I forgot how much I missed Jason.

I love friends. They're amazing.

Oh, and I wore my Oz costume to school today for Halloween. I was surprised-people loved it. I was afraid to wear it, but I ended up being glad that I did. I got to spend time with Zach tonight at his house (my sisters were there too) and that was grand. And Noelle. Lovely, random, crazy, adorable Noelle. Another best friend forever, I think. I feel like I've known her forever. It's not like sisters, exactly, but like two school girls who've known each other since the first day of kindergarten. Even preschool. It's awesome. Kindred spirits, perhaps.

I'm so excited!!!

Thursday, October 29, 2009


All right. Whoever said learning music was easy lied to me. Italian is hard. Spanish is hard. Nigerian is hard. Latin is hard. German is hard. Let's just throw in some Mandarin Chinese to top it off. Oh, AND get all of the notes right. And sing with the "chuh and the buh and the kuh" *punch* *punch* *punch* (diaphragm) instead of the "laaaaaaaah" *tilt head* (throat). No pop sounds for me; classical! Classical! It's harder than it looks. *sigh*

I'm actually having a great time in all of these new classes. Still, I find myself panicking about all of the different pronunciations and styles of music. Take, for example, the aria I have to sing for Solo Ensembles. All by myself, mind you (I found out today that you have to do that for Ariosa). It's in Italian. The pronunciation isn't too difficult-I just have to remember the silent "g" in "voglio" and "che" is something like "key". Then there's the listening practice (Mrs. Mathews suggested Kathleen Battle or someone like that first, because I have "a light voice") and the 20 minutes a day vocal practice. Then there's the A Cappella music for Christmas and the ACDA Tour to Arizona. Then there's Concert Choir Christmas music, which isn't difficult at all but takes memorizing.

I'll be honest-I am really nervous and frustrated with all of this because it's brand new. After all, I just finished a whole term in school and got used to the schedule. Now it's all mixed up again. BUT despite this, I am freaking LOVING it at the same time. So it's all good, really. Yay.

Speaking of learning things, my sister Meg had an orchestra concert tonight. Let's say that it wasn't completely torturous. The junior high has a new teacher this year, and she's all right, I guess. She teaches at a much, much, MUCH slower pace than the previous two teachers have (i swear the job is cursed; it's like the Defense Against the Dark Arts post in Harry Potter-no teacher lasts more than a year [this is the fourth in four years]), and they're not terrible but not great. She seems to be a good teacher for technique, but doesn't spend a lot of time on performance pieces. Oh, well. I hope Meg's getting something out of it.

Blasted tired. EMR tomorrow morning. Dog is fed, so am I, and my costume is ready in the living room. Homework is all done (i hope) and a choir concert tomorrow for my friend. Pay day tomorrow, too. Dad comes home from his work trip, and I get to talk to the school administration about sitting in on a Collaboration Meeting (teacher stuff) for a Communications assignment. Life is good.

Peace out.


Tuesday, October 27, 2009

what i did today...

I hardly even remember. Let's see...a list perhaps.

  • First time ever getting anything less than an "A" in Seminary. I should probably actually GO this term, instead of sleeping in. I hate not being able to sleep. It messes up my whole schedule.
  • I've been adopted as an unofficial assistant choir librarian for A Cappella. I like to help; it's fun.
  • I have to sing alto on "Worship the King" with Concert Choir instead of 1st Soprano with A Cappella. Rats. No high notes for me.
  • IQ test results from Jackman's class-161. I'm told that's good?
  • Almost talked to Jason, but kind of sort of ran away without running. I'm so bad at this whole thing.
  • Sadie's group is getting HUGE beyond all reason. I really need to learn to say no to people. I can't though. :P
  • After school NHS activity was way fun, even though the only thing I did was paint people's faces/hands and have my face painted. Blue swirlies and glitter! Woot!
  • Bought gas for the car today because I figured it was time to stop ignoring the "Empty" light.
  • Made some new friends at the bank. The tellers there are really nice; I see them about every two weeks. I can't remember their names. There are three of them, two blonde and one dark. One guy doesn't talk very much, but has a nice smile. Another talks a lot about everything and has a great laugh, and the last guy always talks to me about school and what I want to do when I get older. I like them. None of the girl tellers talk to me though. It's kind of weird.
  • Bought a birthday present for Zach. I know it's late, but I had to wait for my pay check. It's from me and my sisters. I think it's pretty much amazing, and it's something he mentioned wanting to get someday. Can you say fedora? :D
  • Talked to above person for awhile. I get to see him perform on Friday night with BYU's Young Ambassadors. I'm so excited for him!
  • Started filling out BYU application. Ugh.
  • Watched Field of Dreams with my family. Weird movie.
That's all. Nothing super eventful, but the day as it was.

get outta my chair...

Getting stuck in the director's chair on the first day of class might be something like this:
  1. Be told to get to work
  2. Feel completely confused as to what to do
  3. Stand around looking confused
  4. Start warm-ups on the outside of the circle, not sure what to do
  5. Be invited to stand in the circle by Brad, and then introduced by Mrs. Mathews to the rest of the kids
  6. Stand around looking lost as the other 12 students fall into line, wearing costumes and getting ready to rehearse their traveling Halloween program
  7. Ask what to do
  8. Given a stool, a pencil, a sheet of paper, and a music stand
  9. Told to watch, take notes, and be ready to "give direction, comments, and suggestions"
  10. Get nervous and then excited as the talent of the choir is displayed
  11. Feel very inadequate and slightly nervous about giving direction, comments, and suggestions on the first day of enrollment in class
  12. Notice that 11 of the 12 respond to the direction and get excited about it
  13. Notice that 1 of the 12 does not like anything you say and gives you dirty looks
  14. Decide to ignore 1/12th
  15. Worry about overstepping and look to Mrs. Mathews for cues, only to find that she wants you to keep doing what you're doing
  16. Take a deep breath, watch more numbers, and give more direction such as:
"More energy! You're performing! You're having fun! You guys sound great, you blend well, you're got awesome costumes, and you know that you're having fun, but you're not showing it. Have fun! Show me the fun!"
"Mark, I can tell from your performance that you are a gentleman. You probably hold doors open for girls and help your mom bring in the groceries, don't you? *yes, i was right* Well, this is not a girl. This is not even a person. To Gaston, Belle is the next trophy he wants to hang up on his wall. You're the predator, and she's the piece of meat! You're hungry to get your hands on this prize! Don't let her get so far away from you-for every one step she takes further away you take two towards her. And Deb! Belle cannot stand Gaston. He's a brute-ignorant, arrogant, completely repellent. I want disgust. Like, 'are you kidding me? ew...ew...EW!' Show me."

Then "Asha, John Smith has completely insulted you. There's got to be some anger there, until you realize that he has absolutely no idea. Show me the transition from disbelief and hurt at his generalizations to the understanding that he says those things in ignorance. Sing this as teaching him about your world. Teach all of us."
Number 17-Have an amazing first day in Ariosa, and feel so good about it because you've got friends. And number 18, not worrying about making Mrs. Mathews upset because of your "directing" because she pulled you aside and said that it was fabulous and so helpful. Teehee.

First EMR (early morning rehearsal) with A Cappella this morning. I thoroughly enjoyed it, especially since I got to sit next to "that girl". Haha, love you, friend!

40/50 on my stupid Communications midterm. I studied and studied and STUDIED and still did terribly. Ugh. I hate it.

Completely lost in math. Again.

Pretty much failed a Meteorology quiz because I didn't understand the chapter at all.

Compliments from Tyler like crazy as he tossed candy at me in class, saying (each bolded word emphasizes when he threw it at me and how he said it) "You're such a SMARTIEs, and such a SWEET HEART instead of TART, and you're such a NERDs which is good because you pass your classes and can help me pass too, but not an Air Head so I get to eat this one." Then he said that he thinks I'd be way fun to go to a dance with because I'm such an awesome person and he likes to make me laugh. I like Tyler. He's a good friend.

Enjoyable time at work-it wasn't too bad today and I got some paperwork done for Paul. Plus Andrea and I have too much fun with pretzels, talking about boys, and being dumb in general. It's great fun.

First snow of the year today. I don't know whether to be excited or to be not excited. I just hope Halloween isn't too cold. I remember the last time it snowed this early that on Halloween night I had 4 inches of snow around the brim of my witch hat. It was so cold that year. But we got TONS of candy because everyone else had all ready stopped trick-or-treating. People pretty much just dumped their bowls into our sacks. Great fun.

Cold, cold, cold.

This has been a freaking random post. I've even stopped trying to follow my trainless (say what?) thoughts.

Tomorrow is Wednesday. One day closer to Friday! AND I'm calling my friend tomorrow night! Woot, woot! *hearts*

Monday, October 26, 2009

depressing myself...but some good news...


Today is the birthday of my amazing, wonderful, adorable BFF. I love you, Zach! You're the best!


Today was my first day in A Cappella. Talk about amazing! I was absolutely terrified at the beginning. Mrs. Mathews took my hand when she was talking to me and started to laugh because she could feel me shaking so much. I all ready have a lot of support in this class, though. I had no idea how many friends I have until she "introduced" me as her new soprano (or something like that) and several people clapped/cheered/et cetera. It was frightening but reassuring at the same time.

I need to stop listening to the "West Side Story" music. We're going to be learning it in A Cappella, and I'm not sure of the words and tune of some of the songs so I'm practicing on my own. I was all ready depressed and tired before, but now I alternate from being somewhat composed to breaking down in tears in front of my computer. I can't figure out what's wrong with me.

Oh, wait. If I think about it hard enough, I believe I can put a finger on part of the problem. Before 7:00 it had been over a week since I'd seen or spoken to my friend. Dear, dear friend. I miss him so much. It's kind of terrifying that being away from someone does this to me. It happens with my family sometimes, too. It's never been like this with a friend though. Gah.

Anyways, it's his birthday today. I finally got up the courage to call him to wish him a happy day. My sisters, mom, and I sang to him through the phone, and he seemed to enjoy it. It made him laugh, at least, and when I teased him about how he laughed because it was so horrible he said, "No! Not horrible! Completely unexpected! I hear 'Is this Zach?' and I'm just about to say how happy I am to hear from you and then 'Hold on a sec...' and then BAM! I'm being serenaded through the phone! Awesome!"

See why I miss him? He's really fantastic. I told him about choir, and he seems really excited. His concert is this Friday, and my family is going. Yay!

"West Side Story" was depressing before I met my friend. Now it's even worse, because I *spoiler alert for this who have not seen this play/movie* imagine him playing Tony like he did last school year, and the character dies! Human hose pipe. :P

I'm putting on Linkin Park. 'Night.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

about to become a murderess...

I am going to kill Facebook. Seriously. I am so freaking mad at whoever decided to change the website, because guess what? Ever since they did my account has been acting completely screwy. Half of the time I can't even log in. The other half as follows: deleted friends list, no search engine, complete inability to post on anything, no chats, nothing. I am so mad. It's not a virus on my computer, either. I've tried it on five different PCs and laptops, and nothing is working. I just changed my password so it's not a hack (I hope). Ugh!

And in general I'm just mad. I don't know why. It's like, "I have decided to hate the world with a fiery passion because it just exists and there is no good reason!!! I freaking hate everything!" I am just upset!

What is my problem? And when I try and think of what the problem is, I just get more angry. I freaking want to kill something!

Like Facebook. UGH!!!

Saturday, October 24, 2009

stealing a word from spider, i dub this post "awardage"...

Yes, I stole your word, spider. Because I find it pretty much amazing. Kinda like you. :)

spider over at Spider spins a web has given me an award! Here it is:

The Rules:

Follow them carefully, peoples! It's important! :)

  1. Copy the Kreativ Blogger picture and post it on your page
  2. Thank the person who gave it to you and link back to their blog
  3. Write seven things about you that we don’t know
  4. Choose seven other bloggers that you would like to give the award to
  5. Link to the bloggers that you choose
  6. Let the winners know that they have the lovely award.
Seven Things About Me That You Don't Know...
  1. Are there 7 things about me that you don't know? I'm kind of an open book. I guess that's the first one. But did you all ready know that?
  2. I get really attached to people, but I am often terrified to contact them to say hello.
  3. You can often find me singing in the car with the windows rolled down and the radio turned up. It's rather embarrassing for my friends, but not my sisters. They join right in.
  4. I get way, way, way bored during movies. Even when it's a movie I love or a movie I chose to watch with the family, I usually end up leaving an hour into it. It's not because of the quality or because I don't like it; I just have other things I'd rather be doing.
  5. Often times I will imagine myself in situations or doing things with people and won't realize that I'm actually talking out loud to myself and those people. Awkward.
  6. I play Farmville. Yes. I confess.
  7. I have only ever been asked on one non-dance date in my life. Usually when I go on a date that isn't to a school dance, I'm the one who has asked the boy out. Really, I'm a fun person. I'm just shy. But! If I like him enough or find him funny/nice/smart/interesting/a good friend, I will eventually ask him on a date. I don't want to wait forever to have fun. And dating is so fun!
That's my seven. You probably all ready knew all of those, though. *reads list again* Oh, boy. I am soooo lazy that I don't want to do the links. Lol. I will anyway. Let's the ama-za-sing:
  1. Coleman at ~Wizard~
  2. Margaret at Finnegan Begin Again
  3. Fringe Girl at the domestic fringe
  5. Jewel at Pink Ink
  6. The Solitary Writer at The Solitary Writer
  7. Tova Darling at Secret Life of Tova Darling
Woot, woot! There ya have it, peoples!


I actually felt really good about the ACT. Last time I had to guess on the final 10-15 questions on the Math and Science portions, and I was really not comprehending what I was reading. I got a 31 on that section, but I still felt like I could and should have done better.

This time I finished ALL of the sections early, and I felt good about most of them, even the math. I did guess on maybe 1/3 of the math, because some of it I've never seen before (i'm mathematically incompetent and want to throw my algebra ii book out the window most days-i refrain and chuck it at the wall instead. seriously, i've done it probably three times this year). I was really surprised about the Science section; for some reason I was understanding things I'd never even heard of before.

The essay question (i took the writing portion this time) was freaking easy-argue whether or not a financial literacy class of some sort should be required for high school graduation. Well, duh it should be required. It's something that we can actually USE, unlike this imaginary number crap. I will never use it. I mean, heck, I'm not planning on an engineering career and very few people in the US are. I'm never going to build a bridge (unless it's a wooden one to cross a stream, aka a piece of plank that's long enough to go across and thick enough to hold someone's weight, which is easy enough with a test subject who can swim) so what's the use of this freaking Trigonometry and Calculus and Algebra? To pay math geniuses salaries, I guess. Stop handing me useless junk and give me the tools I need to build my future. Anyway, tangent over. Sorry. I hate math. Can you tell? :)

So back to the point. For some reason, I really did understand the questions and the reading. I was able to easily understand the material and answer questions, and it took me half the time. I think it was because I asked my Heavenly Father for help last night. Call me crazy or call me a Mormon, it really helped me. Some of the things I was promised really struck a chord in my heart and mind. It was like I knew I was going to do well because I was told specifically that I would have special help "because of your faith". You don't have to believe it. You can call it mumbo jumbo if you want to, but I know it's true. I'm so glad that I do.

My friend Arielle and I studied for our Communications final on Tuesday today at her house. We both had fried brains-hers because of her English research paper and mine because of the test. At least it was fun. I'm glad I've had a chance to get to know her. I only knew that she drove me crazy in Environmental Science last year because she was always talking and goofing off. She's actually a really cool person; she's changed a lot during the summer. Arielle told me that last year she thought I was too shy and too smart. She said I've changed over the summer. Oh, I know it. I think we could be really good friends. That makes me happy; I need some close friends who I actually have classes with. Thank goodness for these new choir classes. Answer to prayer, for reals.

I think I'm going to go sleep now. Maybe. I don't know. I always say that and then it never happens. Oh! Movie recommendation: "Confessions of a Shopaholic". Oh, gosh, FUNNY!!! It's totally illogical, but hey, it's a movie so they can get away with it. Try it out. It is so great.


Friday, October 23, 2009

haaaaaaaalelujuah....haaaaaaaaleluujah... :D

I am now OFFICIALLY a member of Ariosa at my high school. YAY!!! I transferred in today and start on Tuesday morning. I got my schedule all fixed up with my other teachers. Once again things have been shuffled, tossed out, added in, and in generally screwed up so much that my counselors can't figure out how I can remember my skadeewompas schedule.

Karmel and Jackman (Mrs. Clay and Mr. Jackman, or Rod, or Toad [he teaches Health Science {which i love} and she is the Distance Education facilitator, aka Jackman's brain]) were totally fine with me staying enrolled in 2nd period but showing up when I can. I remember what Karmel told me. "I've been watching you for the past two and a half years, Georgie, and I tell you what it's time you had some fun for once. No more being a grown-up before you're 18. Join the high school!" Then Jackman, "You're my best student. I'll cut you all the slack you need."

Shhhh! Don't tell, especially those of you who go to my school. I wasn't supposed to tell anyone, but it made me feel so amazing and trusted and loved that I wanted to share. I'm just about to burst with happiness; I gotta get it out somewhere!

Speaking of which...

Here's the news that I was DYING to share with you last night but didn't, just in case it fell through. I. Am. A.

*drum roll please*

Member of A Cappella Choir!!!

(imagine a chorus of 'hallelujahs' in the background as i scream and jump up and down in sheer giddiness and joy)

just as a side note, how many of you when you read the beginning of the announcement thought of something along the lines of, i dunno. some horrible or strange revelation about myself or something. lol. maybe it's just my twisted mind. now i've made you ALL think of something awful. haha!!! :D

Oh, gosh. I am so, so, so, so, so, so, cetera, EXCITED!!! I can hardly stand it! One of the girls in my class (oh, gosh, it's MY class now, too!!!) sent me the homework assignment for a new song we're learning. I was so relieved when I found out they haven't started it yet; it's way difficult but so beautiful it's worth it. I can't wait until Monday morning so I can start singing with them! And, you know who you are fellow choir student. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for all of your support, help, patience, and tough love when I was afraid or ready to give up. I wouldn't be doing this without you. YOU ROCK!!!

It seems that the majority of my posts have been about choir and music of late. Maybe I should rename this blog "The Music Stand". We shall see.

Now off to bed. On a low note (baha), I have the ACT test aGAIN tomorrow. I hate that thing. But on a high note (tis the music stand now), or the + side as they say, I know I'm going to do well on it. Another good thing-Health Science final today. Score = 98/100. Sweet. I'm so happy. This term has been fantastic. 1 down, 3 to go!!!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

show girl...

I have discovered how very much I love singing and performing. I used to hate performing. Even when I was in "The Wizard of Oz" I dreaded the actual performances. Now I cannot wait for the next performance opportunity! And...I'll be having several more.

Mrs. Mathews has invited me to participate and learn with her show choir, Ariosa. I'm not really sure exactly what they're about, but I know that they go to schools and put on performances for kids. I also know that they sounded fabulous at the concert last night, and that there are only 12 of them currently-4 boys and 8 girls. I make them unlucky, if you think about it that way. But I don't. I want to perform with them, because they're very good and it gives me another opportunity to learn.

I can't figure out what has changed my mind about performing and singing. I hated to sing only a few weeks ago. Interesting how quickly things change.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

20 ?s x 2...

I missed the 6th of this month for 20 questions. So...I'm doing the both tonight at the same time. Tee hee.

1. Name one song that reminds you of an ex?
Mine? I don't have any of those. Not even one. So I'll just make something up. I guess I'd say "Picture to Burn" by Taylor Swift. That's about an ex. Haha.

2. Where was your default picture taken?
I didn't take the default picture. Blogspot made it.

3. What's your middle name?
Buttons. :D

4. Honestly, does your crush like you back? I'm pretty sure he does not.

5. What is your current mood?

6. What color underwear are you wearing?

7. Who can always make you smile?
Zach, Shelby, and Tony. And Misty.

8. What makes you happy?
Long phone conversations, emails that actually mean something, doing my best and knowing it was good enough, singing, Taylor Swift songs, sleeping in. Definitely sleeping in.

9. If you could go back in time, and change something what would you change?
A lot of things, I think. Especially concerning choir.

10. If you MUST be an animal for ONE day, what would you be?
A bear. Then I could sleep all day.

11. Ever had a near death experience?
I think so. I don't really remember it.

12. Something you do a lot?
Facebook, blog, homework, sit around thinking, singing.

13. What's the name of the song stuck in your head right now?
"Cold As You" by Taylor Swift. I found my CD today. :D

14. What was the last thing you ate?
Dinner: chicken noodle soup, PB and J sandwich, and cantaloupe. Strange combo, now that I think about it.

15. Name someone with the same b-day as you?
I have no idea. I know that Sarah is right before and Tony is right after, and Clark is right after too. But on the same day? *shrug*

16. When was the last time you cried?
At the stop light in the car today.

17. Have you ever sung in front of a large audience?
Several times. The most recent? Today. It was the MVHS Fall Choir Concert. Woot. Pretty much amazing.

18. If you could have one super power what would it be?
Invisibility or being able to heal people.

19. First thing you notice about the opposite/same sex?
Opposite? Eyes, and the way it feels being around them. Same? This is going to sound way superficial, but probably hair and outfit, and whether or not they look lonely. I'm horrible, aren't I? :P

20. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
A cookie.

21. What's your biggest secret?
I'm not telling you! Duh.

22. Favorite color?
Light blue, light pink, green, and yellow. I know, whatever happened to black and red? Well, they got old 'n busted, that's what happened. Lol. Actually, I just added the other four to the black and red.

23. When was the last time you lied? Someone asked me how I was doing.

24. Do you still watch kiddy movies or TV shows?
Heck yes!

25. What are you eating or drinking at the moment?

26. Do you speak any other language?
Baha! No! I'm horrible at it.

27. What's your favorite smell?
Tee hee. Books and coffee. Basically Barnes & Noble. :)

28. If you could describe your life in one word what would it be?

29. When was the last time you gave/received a hug?
Today. By Jason. He's been doing that a lot lately. Pretty much every time he sees me.

30. Have you ever been kissed in the rain?
No. Sounds nice though. But not now! Lol.

31. What are you thinking about right now?
What a kiss is like. Sorry, question 30 on the brain.

32. What should you be doing?
Worksheet 3.4 for my math class. But I'm not because I hate it.

33. What was the last thing that made you upset/angry?
I don't really know. It wasn't anything to get angry over. I just did.

34. Do you like working in the yard?
Only when it's not too hot and not too cold. So pretty much never. Lol.

35. If you could have any last name in the world, what would you want?
I ain't telling.

36. Do you act differently around your crush?
No, not really. I think I'm more, well, I dunno. Shy but happy at the same time.

37. Are you currently mad at someone?
I'm mad at the idea of someone, but I've never actually met the person.

38. Which family member has the worst temper?
My mom.

39. Have you ever thrown something at anyone's face?
Haha. Yeah.

40. Does your face turn red when you're angry?
I don't know. I can't see it.

41. When you're mad, do you prefer to keep to it yourself?
Depends on who I am mad at.

42. Has anyone ever thrown a surprise party for you?
Yes! Suzzy, Roshini, Channing, Riley, and Mariah. I think it was in 9th grade.

43. If you won a million $'s what would be your first thought?
College! Yes! Tithing, of course. Then, presents for my friends and family. Yay! Then fix up the house, fix the car, and crap, taxes. Then deposit what's left into the bank, except for a check for a friend who I want to come visit me. And another check for a friend to go on a trip to Europe. See? Covered all my bases. School, church, government, family, and friends. Sweet.

44. If you could have anything right now, what would it be?
Anything? Graduation, aka out of high school.


The choir concert was pretty much amazing. A Cappella was FABULOUS, Chamber Choir was AWESOME, Men's Choir was GRAND, Ladies' Symphonic Voices was TERRIFIC, Ariosa was WONDERFUL. Concert Choir-I dunnno. That's the choir I'm in so I can't actually hear what we sound like because I'm on the stage. In a way I'm glad it's over, but sad at the same time.

I feel awful. Just really down. Stupid-so many good things going on. And though I try to focus on that, it DOES NOT WORK.

I think I'm going to go to bed now.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

sing, sing, sing...

I sang for over 3 hours today. Wowza. That's a lot of singing. I woke up and went to Communications (which is absolutely ridiculous-loathe that class pretty much) and sat for over an hour itching to get to choir. The teacher FINALLY dismissed us and *zoom* off I went.

I'm starting to get nervous about the concert tomorrow. What if I screw up? What if I forget that I have a solo part? What if the mic isn't turned on? What if the mic IS turned on? What if my voice cracks? What if...what if...what if...

Anyway, we rehearsed on the stage during our class today, and then I went home and sang for another hour to keep warm for the after school rehearsal. I had to go in my Scout uniform, because I would be leaving the rehearsal and going straight to work. I got a few interesting comments about it, such as, "Oh, goodness! You are the only girl I've ever seen who looks fantastic in a Scout uniform!" and "Oh, PRECIOUS!!! Are you a Den Mother?" and "I want those pants." Those were all from girls. The guys were like, "Um...are you a Boy Scout?" No, stupid, I'm not a BOY scout. Duh. Haha.

Work was actually not so bad today. Andrea, the newest girl, is really nice. She's become one of my good friends. I wish we actually went to school together. I don't know what the deal is with me making good friends and not going to school with any of them. They all live 20 minutes from my house in some direction or another. Ugh. I feel so lonely.

Some good things:
  • Saw and actually spoke with Jason. I have a date with him in a few weeks, and ever since I asked him I've been terrified to talk to him again. He complimented me on my performance yesterday morning and said he was so excited because, "I was like, dude! That girl singing? That's my date! Not yours, MINE! Ha!" *blush*
  • Mr. Fieldstead, our school Student Council adviser, said that I was the best soloist for "The National Anthem" that he's heard in 10 years. He is extremely critical of singers and has been asking the principal to stop allowing students to sing it for the past three years. *blush* My friend Arielle told me to be watching for Mr. Fieldstead. Good thing, bad thing, I dunno.
  • Sarah, my Algebra 2 buddy (soon to be ex-Algebra 2 buddy; turns out she didn't need the credit so she's ditching me. *sniff* I have no friends in that class now. And really, I've tried to make some.), said she's pretty sure the drama teacher is kicking himself for not casting me and she's going to help me prepare for the "Nunsense" auditions in December. Sarah is really good at monologue selections, which I am not. Huge relief right there.
  • I seriously got compliments on yesterday ALL day today. It was weird, and so embarrassing. But it was good, too, because at least it didn't suck.
  • Yummy dinner that mom made.
  • Being told I look good in a Scout uniform was a good thing. I've seriously been paranoid about it for the longest time. Yay.
Finally got up the courage to go to Jason's house (my November Sadie Hawkins date, which is in three weeks) and deliver the brownies my mom and I made yesterday. I only did it because I knew he wasn't going to be home. Ha. Coward. Meghan went with me, and we also went to the library. Both of us found some good books. Well, she found one. I found about ten. When I'm going to read them, I have no idea. Sundays are pretty boring, so maybe then. We'll see. :)

I don't think anything else interesting happened today. I just am really, really, really missing my friends. I mean, I have friends at school, but I never see them and I don't have classes with them. It makes it really hard to go to classes where you feel completely alone. The only one where I don't is Concert Choir. And every other week I feel welcome in Psychology because my best 4th year Spanish buddy Brookie is in there. Other than that, I just feel lost. But today was a pretty good day. So I'm glad.

Man, it's good to be blogging again. I can't believe I stopped doing it for so long.

Monday, October 19, 2009

worry wart...

Okay, okay. So it wasn't THAT bad. I was terrified to be true, and I could feel my voice shaking (not to mention the rest of me). I think it would have been easier if two rather accomplished singers hadn't been in the office with me. Principal Clark was there, too, so that was very scary. I've never been in the principal's office during my three years at Mountain View. Two new experiences at the same time.

I think it was all right. One of my friends told me that it was fabulous and gorgeous. The band kids loved it. A good friend of mine said it was very good, and she was glad because I stayed in the same key the whole time. Apparently I'm the first soloist to do that this school year. Haha. I actually tried to sing it in two different keys this evening. Um...I found it impossible. I just cannot do it.

I was really glad that I had an EMR today. It really helped; I was warmed up enough to hit the notes clearly. Not to mention the rehearsal was fun. Only 12 of the 30 kids showed up. I think we should kick the rest of them out because we sounded a LOT better with only the 12 there. Adding the other 18 really makes know. We don't sound as good.

I'm kind of excited for our choir concert on Wednesday, though. Because we're singing a medley of songs from the movie Nightmare Before Christmas, we're allowed to wear a hat/scarf/gloves or some other thing to dress up for Halloween. Mrs. Mathews said that since I have a solo (it's like, 4 measures and pretty much a speaking line [but I get to act like a freaky hiding-under-your-bed thing! woot!]) I can wear my black costume that I wore to the Halloween dance with Zach and Meghan on Saturday night, because it is black, and the purple will be a cool accent. Woot! I don't have to be boring! Haha.

The rest of the day was pretty lame. I was exhausted all day from the EMR and from staying up most of the night being afraid. Oh, but funny moment. This morning when I was driving to school, in the dark, by myself, I was sitting at a stop light and praying for it to turn green faster so that I wouldn't have to keep sitting in the empty street. Suddenly, out of nowhere, came a HUGE white flash and then a GIGANTIC, DRAWN OUT, ROARING thunder clap.

Pretty much the highest scream I've ever given since age 5. Holy cow, I was so freaked out! Then it happened again at a second stop light, and I was about ready to fall to pieces. Can you tell I don't like thunderstorms much? I don't know why they scare me so badly. They just do. So that was the funny/embarrassing moment that I share with you today. :)

I ate a hurried breakfast in Seminary, because I know I'm not supposed to eat in there but I was starving and could feel myself fading. Then I fell asleep in Psychology. I got thoroughly frustrated with the Algebra 2 concept we were supposed to be learning today and threw my book on the floor. A friend of mine told me I should carry a hair brush because mine is so unmanageable, which was not what I needed to hear today. I tripped going out to the car, and almost got hit twice going to Wal-Mart. It wasn't until I was looking for a shorter line that the day brightened a little bit. I only had two items, and it seemed like every person had a cart full to the brim with stuff, and there were only eight checkers open.

I was starting to get frustrated and near tears (stupid) because I needed to get home to let my dog outside and take her on the walk I'd promised, there was a huge laundry job waiting for me that I wanted to get done for my mom, my room was a mess, I hadn't finished the Algebra 2 homework in class because it's freaking retarded, I was plain exhausted, and I kept accidentally thinking about someone and how much I miss him. Withdrawals! (see? stupid!) Then a man asked me if I only had the two items. He was in line with a cart full of stuff, and two men behind him with the same. All three of them let me go ahead of them. Gosh, I was so grateful. It was amazing.

When I got home, Misty and I headed outside for some Vitamin D time and exercise. Then the laundry. I didn't get to the homework-I fell asleep on the couch while I was waiting for my mom to come downstairs for FHE (Family Home Evening). Oops. The thing is, I'm still exhausted. *sigh*

I think that's all I have to say today. Thanks to Margaret for her goddess that she researched for me. You can read about it here at Finnegan Begin Again.

aw, crap...

It's 1:09 in the morning. I just remembered something that's happening in 6 hours. *sobs*

So I'm in choir this year. Concert Choir. Yes, I know, it's not the best choir our school's got, but hey, at least Mrs. Mathews let me in last minute. I was so, so, so afraid to audition for A Capella or Chamber Choir, so I just signed up for the one that didn't require any real talent, aka one without auditions. I was too afraid to fail.

Anywho...I really need to stop saying "Yes" to my teacher when she asks me to sing things. Like "The National Anthem". Which I'm In 6 hours and about 45 minutes. For announcements at the start of school. I signed up BEFORE I found out that there really are 1,400 students/faculty aka PEOPLE in the building during school hours. And I'll be in the office, singing into the microphone over the intercom while everyone HAS to listen.


Any chance of sleep is pretty much gone now. BUT!!! On the plus side, I have an EMR (Early Morning Rehearsal) at 6:45, an hour before I sing. So.............

at least I'll be warmed up.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

that made my head spin...

I was just given what I think is the highest compliment a girl today can receive. It wasn't "You're beautiful" or "You're so smart." It was more along the lines of being who I am no matter what.

Do you all remember my good friend Tony? I was talking to him tonight, and he mentioned that there were some girls at his school who are, well, not very nice in the moral respect and rather materialistic. After he said this, he thanked me for not being that way. He then said that I am one of the most sincere people that he knows.

For some reason, that has made me the happiest girl in the world. No one has ever thanked me for being sincere. No one has ever told me that they're glad that I stay true to who I am, regardless of what others say. Basically, it meant the world to me.

Thanks, friend. You have no idea how much that helped me out. You're awesome.

our friendly neighborhood undead cemetery tour guide...

Remember Zach? My Ozian best buddy? My sisters and I were finally able to schedule a time where we could hang out. The perfect setting for four Thespians-at-heart: a Halloween Dance!!! Actually it was three of us; Amanda missed the age cut-off by three months. Next year, little sister!

Getting ready started out as a complete and utter nightmare. Meghan and I had planned on wearing our Ozian dresses to the dance. We tried them on last week and they fit fine. As we put them on, we found that it was not going to work. At all. Meghan has grown about two inches-her dress no longer fits because her torso is too long for it. I, by some miracle, have dropped two dress sizes(from an 18 to a 14 [I'll tell you about that later-squee!!! Excited!!!]), and looked like I was wearing a rather sparkly gunnysack. So! Meghan decided to wear one of my dresses from two Halloweens ago, when I was a dark Medieval princess/Morgan le Fay type character (sorry, I can't spell her name, I just know she's from Camelot). She would be Bellatrix Black, teen-aged and still at Hogwarts before meeting Lestrange. That left me wondering what to do. If Zach was planning on being an Ozian, I could wear the dress with some safety pins in the shoulders. But if he wasn'

Phone call! Any idea how difficult that was? I was BAWLING because I was afraid he'd be mad at me. Which is stupid; he's Zach! It turns out he wasn't going as an Ozian, and would not tell me what he was coming as. Now it was time to panic-no Oz costume, Bellatrix is taken, the Queen Hermione costume from "A Winter's Tale" would look terrible over black tights, GAH!!! Frantic pawing though the closet! THIS looks fantastic.

Meet Narcissa Black, soon to become Narcissa Malfoy, sister to Bellatrix and future mother of Draco Malfoy. I found a dress that we'd used in the play "Singin' in the Rain" a long time ago for one of the silent actress characters, and it fit me perfectly (which is saying something-it's skinny). Put on some eye liner, some shadow, and dark red lipstick and presto chango! Narcissa stands before you! Except I don't have a large blonde streak in my hair. We decided that Bellatrix hadn't pulled that prank yet (which didn't actually happen in the book, but we'll go with it anyway). So, without being skanky or anything else, Meghan and I transformed into the two eldest Black sisters, dark and, if I do say so, rather terrifying. *smirk*

Amanda, as I said before, couldn't go to the dance. Still, she wanted to dress up. So she put on some blue jeans, a black top, a black sweater, pulled her hair up slightly, and put a sign on her stomach that said "MUGGLE". Perfect.

It wasn't until we got to the Payson Main Street exit that I started to get nervous. I hadn't seen Zach in, oh, two or three weeks, and I was just full of butterflies from head to toe. My best friend! Yay! Oh, no! No, this is a good thing. Yay! No! Arg!

We got to his house and didn't really know where to go. Last time I was there I was with Kaila (oh, goodness, I haven't told you all about Sadie's yet! Horrors! I will do that soon, promise!) when we picked Brenden (Zach's older brother) and Zach up to go to Sadie Hawkins. We went to the back door, but I wasn't sure if that was because we were supposed to or because Kaila is Brenden's best friend. Luckily Aaron, Zach's oldest brother, was outside, and he sent us to the back door. Carlton, Zach's other older brother, answered the door, looking sort of confused. I would have been too, if there'd been two girls in lacy dresses with heavy make-up and one girl dressed normally showed up at my door in the evening. Lol. We must have looked horrible!

Two words: fabulous beyond all reason. Okay, that was four, but it took that many to tell about his costume! He was dressed up as some sort of 3 Musketeer looking thing, but not at the same time. Probably due to the fact that he'd sprayed his hair white and had painted his face like a skeleton. All in all, he looked awesome! I'm so glad my sisters and I actually went all out, otherwise we would have been totally shown up. Lol. Theatre guys rock. I was so happy to see him! He's handsome even when undead. Haha.

So I don't know if I've told you, but Zach lives across the street from the Payson City Cemetery, which is third on the list of Most Haunted Sites in Utah. I remember walking out to the car with Zach, and then noticing that we were going in the complete opposite direction from where I'd parked. Instead, we were heading to the cemetery gate, which stays open pretty much all night. Zach wanted to show us "where I grew up". My first thought, yeah right. No, seriously. He told us all about playing there with his friends during the day and the night, pulling pranks on the ghost hunters who came out with their contraptions to find "things", and scaring off the drug dealers who frequented the area for awhile. It's true-I asked his mom.

When I mentioned that my grandpa was buried in the cemetery, Zach wanted to try and find it. We spent a few minutes searching the map, but couldn't figure out how to read it. Amanda took the opportunity while my back was turned to scare me silly. The funny thing was, though, that as Zach took us deeper into the cemetery and farther from the light, I got braver and Amanda got more freaked out. She kept stopping, and I kept walking until I was far ahead of them. I think it unnerved Zach that I was so determined to keep going. He knows I get scared easily, and he thought I'd be the one to want to leave.

Finally he caught my arm and made me wait for them to catch up. I had a reason for wanting to walk away. I've been having nightmares about that cemetery for two weeks. I wanted to figure out why. I found that I actually wasn't scared until Zach made me stop and said very firmly that we were leaving. What frightened me was that he'd been so calm and seemed so at home there (no pun on his undead costume), reassuring us that he'd never take us anywhere where we could get hurt and that there was nothing to be afraid of. Then all of the sudden he's got a hold of me and looks in my eyes, telling me that we have to go right now. That's when I got scared. So, I made it easy for him. I left without a fight, which also surprised him. Haha. We're always throwing each other off guard. It's fun. You know, I think I might have actually scared him by my interest in the cemetery. He knows I hate scary things, and the dark, but I kept on going farther and farther in. Maybe that's why he wanted out of there. Hm. I'll have to ask him.

Zach is amazing. We didn't dance much, because Zach always seems uncomfortable. He says he doesn't know how to move to music that isn't ballroom or ballet or anything. He can break dance a little bit, but "that's different". Whatever, I'm totally fine playing shadow tag out in the grass. Which is what we did. It was awful! I kept losing because I couldn't figure out how to keep my six shadows away from him and Meghan! There were three streetlights and a light from the church where the dance was, and somehow I'd stand just where they could all hit me. He of course found the one spot where no lights hit him, and shared with Meghan. Ugh. I lose at games.

We talked about a lot of interesting things. Some of my past came out without meaning to, because he's had similar experiences. I didn't want him to know those things. At all. Too late now. He still doesn't know all of what you know, though. Hope he never reads this. Lol. That would be awkward!

And, he finally poked me. When we drove him home, Amanda came with us, and she wanted to see if he was "pokeish". While saying good-bye, she, being the flirt she is (lol, long story), sneaked up behind him and poked him. He retaliated, and also got Meghan. I was outta there, but he wasn't going to give up easily. He chased me! I got out into the street and turned around, and Zach just kept running after me. He missed the first four times. Then he just started to talk to my sisters, and being the "innocent thing" that I am, I fell for it. I came back towards them and he got me. Embarrassing moment-I totally screamed because it surprised me and tickled. Gosh.

Zach is amazing. He's probably the most amazing guy I've ever met. Which scares me, in some ways. I might get too attached. And that would be bad.

I think that was the most fun I've had in a very long time. The cemetery was my favorite part; Amanda was so funny! She keeps saying that the reason she was scared was because she kept waiting for Zach's friends to jump out from behind headstones and trees. She thought he'd been planning it the whole time. He'd never do that. At least, not with me around. He knows I'd never speak to him again. Haha. Nah. I'd just fall apart and then not speak to him for a very long time. He knows I trust him. And, funnily enough, he trusts me. See? Best friends. I told you so. :) Or did I? I might've forgotten. Gah, there's so much I have to tell you all! And so I won't forget later on.

I think you're going to be hearing more about Zach. Shall I post a disclaimer on posts about him so you can skip if you don't want to read it? Lol.

Best night ever. I hope there are more of them down the road.

Friday, October 16, 2009

adoption day...

Today is the we adopted Misty three years ago. It feels like she's been in our family for a lot longer than that, but at the same time I can't believe how quickly time has flown. She's adorable, and I love my little Misty dog. <3

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

good gravy...

I made up a list of what I needed to write about.

'''''''' ''''''''

Jaw dropping two pages long. See? I am SUCH a slacker!!! So I'm going to write about something else today and do the updates gradually. Mostly for me so I can remember them later, but you can read them too if you want. I don't mind. And, I made a face for you. Can you see it? It's up there. ^^^. :)

Today was meh. I've been having a really hard time with fighting depression. Which is weird, because I've got great friends, an amazing guy to dream about who is also my best friend, great grades and pretty easy classes, a supportive family, a job, a car and a license, and people who care about me. I try to focus on these, but the harder I try the more and more down I get. I look around at all of the amazing things going on in my life, and try to figure out why I could possibly be sad. Why?

And then I look out the window. It's cloudy. And dark. And cold. And dark. And dark, dark, dark. And just...dark. That's when I remember...Oh, yeah!!! It's October! It's DARK. It's as simple as 2 + 2.

Yep. S.A.D. is at it again. Seasonal Affective Disorder, when coupled with cycles of chemical, or clinical, depression, don't make for easy happiness. All I feel is tired, sad, sad, and frustrated because I feel like I have no energy and can't be happy. Which is a lie-some days are good. But it's discouraging to look out the window and know that things are going to be hard just because it's raining. There are no pills to make the weather change. Just Vitamin D supplements, exercise, good friends, and a heck of a lot of faith that things are going to turn out. And that's hard. Way hard.

And so I've made a decision. When I get done with school...

I'm moving to Arizona.

At least, I think I'm moving to Arizona. In my mind I am. :)

Monday, October 12, 2009

i am a great big slacking loser...forgive me?

It has been over a month and a half since I put something on here. O.o Shall we paste a huge "L" on my forehead and call it good?

Really, though. I want to apologize for not writing. I mean, I've totally neglected you guys, who are my friends and like my family. Not to mention I've had so many amazing things happen that should have been written down IMMEDIATELY and didn't 'cause I'm dumb. :P I will be working on my slackerness. I promise.

Right now I am off to compile a list of things that happened in the past few months, along with finding pictures to narrate the stories. SOOOOOOO much has happened. I'll just post the big things. And a few of the little things that were important to me.

Also I want to apologize for not reading your stuff. Sometimes I get online and see the 100+ posts that I need to read and panic. It takes me over an hour to read all of your guys' lives. I feel like a jerk if I only pick the "interesting" headings, so I just decided to avoid the situation altogether (sorry, cuileann, this is repetitive for you). Once again...forgive me?

I'll be back in a little bit! <3 and *hugs*,