forgot to mention...

I forgot!! Last week I had a job interview at the public library, where I volunteered this summer (and hope to start doing again as soon as the concert and choir tour are over). It went...fine. Not as well as I'd hoped, because there were four majorly important adults interviewing me (a couple of whom [who? of who? of whom? whom?] I know and have known me for years, or I found out have known me for years and I didn't know that they did...) and I was terrified. Then some of the questions one of them asked me really threw me off. Not to mention the face she made after I answered. Ugh...it was frightening and really dinged my all ready nonexistent self-confidence. I am just not confident enough to get a job. It's really frustrating.

Anyways, Louise (the one I found out has been watching me for several years) called me today to tell me that they'd chosen a different applicant for the position, BUT...she "was very impressed by your interview and thought you did very well, so I wanted to let you know that several library page positions will be opening up later this week and they'll be posted online. Just in case you're interested."

Um...how can I not be excited about that? Louise is the director of the Human Relations department, the Publicity department, and the Public Events department. She's kind of important, and she liked me!! So that was a definite plus to the day, and kind of to my life.

I have some things to remember when times get tough again. I'm still badgered with depressing thoughts (if depression had innings I'd be at the bottom of the ninth with bases loaded and two outs, coming up to bat with a sledgehammer and a cannon for the pitcher...it's been really bad) but now I have some things to combat them with that are fresh in my mind. I'm crossing my fingers that it will get better. Not to mention I'm somehow having words float around in my head like mad and all I have to do is reach out, grab them, and place them in the correct order on paper.

I'm very confused by all of this. Three weeks of utter darkness and there's suddenly all this light. It's so weird.