missing...

I remember the day
you told me you always associated me
with the color brown.
You were so flustered by my reaction
(which I recall was one of confused laughter)
that you reminded me of the dress I wore
on our first date (to Homecoming). It was brown,
"like your hair."
We were almost the same height then.

How things change.

I remember the night
that you took me to a concert at the college.
We got bored after awhile,
so we found stairs up to the roof and danced
around and around.
No music but our laughter.
You were wearing green that night.
It brought out your eyes.

I remember the day
you were three hours late picking me up
for the dance.
You were always late -- it's the only thing
we ever fought about. But fighting with you
wasn't really fighting.
It was more like I would pretend I wasn't mad,
and you would guess that I was pretending. Then,
we talked about it.
You were never more than five minutes late again,
and I learned to be patient.

But I remember one other time when we fought.
It was backstage during the dance concert.
You found out a secret -- my only big secret.
It was a quiet fight,
each of us standing our ground without saying a word.
You left. I thought our friendship was over.
And then, you came back.
You found me crying because of the secret,
and because I was afraid I'd lost my best friend,
and because of that other boy.
That was the first time you held me,
and when you said that you loved me, I believed you.

I remember running through sprinklers,
dragging you shopping with me,
riding roller coasters and sharing curly fries,
harmonizing to Journey while you played with my hair,
sitting on the porch that night two summers ago,
watching Old Spice commercials on YouTube,
hearing you ask from the back seat of my car if I was happy.

I remember battling in water fights and Nerf gun wars,
forcing you to do your homework,
listening to you read to me when I was struggling,
watching you spin the ring you always wore,
eating the "mandillas" you were obsessed with,
repairing those silly moccasins you loved,
dancing and spinning while you sang the words to "Faithfully."

I remember how your little sisters adored you,
how your little brothers copied everything you did,
how you looked up to your older brother,
how well you treated your mother and respected your father,
how everyone loved you -- everyone.

I remember having you on my side through it all.
The good, the bad, the everything.
You never let me down -- I don't know how to repay that.

I remember you -- I never want to lose those memories.
In my heart I hope that someday, more will be made.