Sunday, April 1, 2012

lately...

...thinking...

...I think I'm a little too honest sometimes. There are more things I should keep to myself, particularly opinions. Either that or I should say them in a different way.
...knowing what you should do and wanting to do it are not the same thing at all.
...it is very hard for me to imagine being married...no parents (because you're the parent), no friends (not all the time), just you and your spouse making all of the decisions, all of the purchases, all of the plans, all of the actions that are necessary for a successful family. I can imagine me doing those things by myself, but throw in a man and my brain can't handle it.
...I really hope there is a point to all of the things I'm doing.



...doing...

...went on a date last night, and it was so much fun. John is one of my best friend's older brothers. He took me to Trafalga and we played laser tag, mini golf (amid the presidential monuments of the United States, which is ironic because we played without any rules), skeeball, and air hockey. For our prizes, John got a mustache and a miniature pin wheel. I got a butterfly temporary tattoo because it was just too pretty to pass up. Even if I don't wear it, I might put it on a piece of paper. Very fun date, very nice guy, very good time.
...two bridal showers this week for darling Brianna! She is so adorable, I can't get over it. 27 days till the wedding!
...homework. Who does that? Oh...I should be doing that.
...Love's Labors Lost at BYU. Good show, but the girls in the production bothered me. Every time they were onstage I felt like I was watching junior high school students giggling and shrieking over something. There wasn't a lot of depth in the female character portrayals -- it was all surface flirtation with little visible thought behind the actions. Other than that, it was a fun show.
...I have a plan. 6 credits this Spring, 6.5 credits this Summer, 17.5 credits this Fall. Put in mission papers, and if I still feel like I should go I'll go. If not, I'll keep going to school and graduate in August 2013. Ready, go.


...feeling...

...don't want to be touched. At all. Period. No hugs, no high fives, no brushing hands, no linking arms, no nothing. Why? No idea. None.
...blessed because the grant money I received for school will carry over into the Spring/Summer terms, the car is still working just fine, I have a good job, my school schedule will allow me to keep working and study as well, and I don't have to pay rent.
...life is not meant to be spent in comfort. We're moved from old places and friends into new places with new people. Start over every few months. Change is certain, yet brings such uncertainty.
...what do you do when you realize your heart is breaking but you don't know why? It shouldn't be breaking at all, but it is, and it doesn't make sense. No matter how much you think about it and work at being "unbroken" -- you're broken. The feeling doesn't go away.

No comments: