not cool enough...

I got invited to a party today. It was mostly terrible, partly good. It was good because the friend who invited me was genuinely glad to see me. He yelled hello, sprinted over, gave me a hug, and said "Thank goodness you're here! I didn't think you'd come." Aw. It's nice to be loved.

Left early though. It's hard enough when you don't know most of the 200+ people there, but it gets worse when the fifty or so you do know turn their backs when they see you walking to join them. The seniors who have told me that they are glad I'm their friend seemed to have changed their minds; they'd look at me and turn around, closing the little circles. Friend when help is needed, nerd when cooler friends are around. Just proves what I've always known. I'm not cool enough. Never will be, because I'm too shy and too afraid to be anything but what I am.

All right. Friday of the trip, May 15 2009 follows:

Woke up five minutes before the rest of the people in camp (excluding most of the chaperons and Mr. Clark), so I didn't have to wait in line for the bathroom. I then packed all of my stuff and waited for Meri to put her stuff away so that we could collapse the tent. It was pretty hard for me to roll it up one-handed and Meri didn't really know how, so Mr. Brown came to the rescue. He flopped down on top of the tent that was folded in thirds and squished all of the air out. It was pretty impressive.

Loading the bus took all of about ten minutes, with everyone helping. I tried to help, honest, but when I picked up a cooler of water Mr. Clark firmly told me to put it down and not to pick anything else up for the remainder of the trip. I hate feeling useless, and it was quite an achievement to pick it up with one arm and not spill anything. Ha.

We made lunches before we left. You had your basic paper bag options: lunch meat, cheese, mayonnaise, mustard, peanut butter, jelly, bread, chips, apples, granola bars. I struggled getting my sandwich into the small plastic bag. I had the bag in my teeth and the sandwich in my hand. I got frustrated and kind of growled. Ish. Mr. Clark looked at me and said, "She's just trying to get sympathy. But she won't find any of it here!" I shook the bag out again and said through a mouthful of plastic "I'm not asking for sympathy. I don't want any sympathy. People just give it to me anyways." I have never seen the man laugh harder. I still don't understand why it was so funny, but he seemed to enjoy my response immensely.

Departure from the goblin land passed without my notice. I was asleep for a lot of the drive. We stopped at a place called Comb Ridge, which is basically a giant monocline thing. Don't ask me to explain that; I can't remember what it is. We also stopped at the Lake Powell Overlook where it's mostly river. I've never been to Lake Powell. Well, I have now, I mean, but before that....never mind.

I think that up top was out of order. I can't remember. I do remember that we stopped at the Natural Bridges (State? National? Monument?) Park. Pam, my new friend, stayed with me while everyone else hiked to the bridges. They're formed when rivers hit meander bends. It's hard to explain without a visual. Check out the link above if you're curious.

Anyway, Pam and I spent two hours watching the visitors' movie twice, feeding the ants, watching lizards, coloring, writing, eating lunch, and talking about nothing very important. We colored a giant squid together. Quite fun. I used the red crayon and she outlined it in red ink. Team work. Awesome.

When everyone got back, they all ate lunch. I learned that two sisters on the trip had 11 other siblings, of which only two were adopted and two were twins. 13 kids! The parents were there too as chaperons. I was really shocked. They have over 150 cousins, too. Talk about a family reunion. That'd be so cool. The sisters have also been home schooled for a lot of their lives, like me. They live on a farm in the city. How cool is that? They're super nice. I like them.

More driving. I think we went to Comb Ridge after Natural Bridges. Can't remember for sure. Ah, well. It's still written down. So, sometime later we reached Moab. I absolutely adore Moab. It's one of my favorite places in the world. Not that I've seen much of the world, but of the places I've been, it's amazing. I saw all of the little shops and restaurants, the bookstores, the "adventure stops." It was so great to be back. Not so great was the drive up the mountain to Dead Horse Point, our last stop for the day (except for the Dead Horse Point Visitor Center for a potty break, which a lot of kids wanted) and then to the camp site. I did feel a little car sick on the drive up. Too many switchbacks and fast change in altitude. Yuck.

In short, I was feeling really awful by the time we reached the Dead Horse Point Overlook. I half-heartedly took notes and looked over the edge of the rock wall to the steep drop on the other side. I sort of felt like flinging myself off the edge and just ending everything there. Yes, I was depressed, too. It just sort of snuck up on me. Soon everyone started taking pictures, and I went to stand next to the wall near where Tony was. We didn't talk for awhile, and then he broke the silence by asking me what I was doing the next Saturday (aka tomorrow).

Yep. He asked me on a date. And it's tomorrow. Do you have any idea how absolutely excited and nervous I am? Probably not. :) It was so cute (possibly romantic. he once told me that if he tried to be romantic i'd never take him seriously. i don't think he was trying-but it still was). I'm so excited!

The next couple of hours were spent in desperate attempts to find cell phone service. Not me, I don't have a cellular device, but someone else's. I wanted to call my mom and ask her if I could go! I finally got a connection on Pam's phone, and I called my mom. She said it was fine, and then I talked to her for about five minutes.

The girls totally beat the boys in setting up the tents. In unison we linked arms and shouted over at them "GIRL POWER!!!" to which they replied "Shut up!" Baha. Dorks. :)

Spencer picked up a prickly pear cactus, not realizing that they are covered in tiny needles as well as the larger ones. I helped him pull the tiny ones out of his fingers. Then Cami showed me the blister on her foot. No joke, it was the size of a quarter. I was so grateful that I'd followed the "hunch" to pack moleskin in my first aid kit, along with tweezers and antiseptic.

Dinner was an event. There were hard and soft tacos, and it was quite entertaining to watch everyone try and eat them. I had my share of droppage onto the plate, but it was still fun. After dinner, Mr. Clark led an expedition down to the cliff a little ways from the campsite. Pam, Mel (her sister), and I stayed behind and used the time to wash our hair. So nice. Pam French-braided my hair while I watched my first ever sunset. I know, I know. I'd never watched the sun set before. Sure, I've seen snatches of them, but I've never actually taken the time to see the whole thing. It was, to me, amazing. There was a cloud on top of the sun, with the mountain beneath. The cloud on top looked like a city made of gold. It was amazing, even though a couple of boys said it was not very impressive. *cough*

The majority of the evening was spent in Ultimate Frisbee, and when it got dark the kids in my class duct taped glowsticks to the Frisbee so that they could keep playing. The two sisters (Sarah and Becca) and I talked with Tony. He can play the guitar. I didn't know that before. He can also sing, even though he says he can't. Once it got pitch black, most everyone went to play Mafia in the pavilion. My parents have asked me not to play that game, so I sat on a rock with my flashlight and sang softly, everything from Les Miserables to Prince of Egypt to hymns. It was a relief to go to sleep, and an even greater relief that the ground under me was sandy and soft.

Meri and I spent about half an hour talking before we fell asleep, mostly about boys and camping. Tee hee. :)

It was so cold that night. My sleeping bag was not as warm as it used to be. :P

I'm going to bed now. Ta!