...when you least expect it...
No, seriously. Today was a good day. Parts of it were hard (understatement-REALLY hard), but not too bad. Music helps. Concert Choir was great-I've made some really good friends in there and some of them have a heck of a lot harder things to deal with than I do. And some of them have the same struggles, so we can all help each other. We never actually say out loud what they are, but it's like you sometimes just know. Just being there for a hug or a smile or a "shame on you" with a twinkle in your eye can make a world of difference. Not to mention Mrs. Mathews is a real support. So is that girl. And Noelle. Only one knows about the whole annoying mess, but the other two care as well and I really appreciate it.
I even had the courage to talk to Jason today (gah! horrors! lol). I have no idea why it is so hard for me to talk to boys. I've noticed that it's hard for me to talk to most people, actually, but boys and adults are the worst-especially adults who I respect and who I don't want to disappoint.
I think another great thing was talking to my dad. He's gone a lot for work, so I called him up just because I was lonely, mom was in a bad mood, and I couldn't talk to my sisters about what was bugging me. I didn't really tell him what's been up, but it was really nice to tell him about school and the family here at home.
The weather was amazing today. It was bright and happy and cheerful and warm! That was so amazing. And Jason told me that I have amazing eyes. When I was talking to him in the hall, he kept staring at me. Finally he asked me what I did differently today. I was honest; I put on mascara and a little bit of eye shadow just for fun. He said it looked amazing-"not that you don't always have amazing eyes, but the make-up really brings them out. And you don't need the make-up, you just look...gah. I'm really awful at this, aren't I?" I found it cute and funny. I guess I'm not the only one who struggles talking to some people. Baha.
"Sing Noel" choir practice tonight was pretty good. There are a couple of sopranos who really get on my nerves because they think they're SO good but really, well, aren't. It's really annoying to me that I'll be doing the right notes and the right tempo and the right page but I get blamed for the mistakes because I'm the youngest. One of the ladies tonight was like, "Oh, I think our little first is struggling." Um, no. I doubt I'm the one struggling.
But enough about that. I don't want to be upset right now. Other than that it was amazing. Our director, who is a long time friend of my family (i've been singing with her since i was 7) told me that she loves my voice and to keep singing high, because "you have one of the most beautiful true soprano voices I've ever had the opportunity to hear." From her, that is a HUGE compliment. I told her about my new Ariosa solo ensemble assignments. "Sebben crudele" isn't the one I'm doing anymore. I've been assigned two solos and one duet. And I'm freaking terrified. I'll tell you what they are tomorrow, as soon as I'm sure that Mrs. Mathews is serious. Starla, our director, said that it's because my teacher has confidence in me and because she wants to push me to progress. I sure hope so. Though I do doubt that my teacher would set me up for failure on purpose.
All in all today has been better. Hooray for that. :)