Thursday, November 10, 2011


Now that I've written out all of the fears and worries, I've been able to think more clearly. That helps sometimes, to talk or write out all of the things going on inside. Then they're trapped on paper so I can examine them. You can take a step back from the problem and pray about the things you wrote down, and answers come.

It took me awhile to get this answer. It was given to me yesterday, but I guess I was too afraid to take it at face-value. Who, though, needs to fear when the answer you've received is from the LORD? Of all people to believe and trust, who better than he?

As I've been pondering this problem, I remembered what happened yesterday. I have an Institute class on Mondays and Wednesdays every week; it's Dating and Courtship. Something my teacher, Sister Terry, said in class yesterday really stood out to me. We were talking about how we naturally filter out potential marriage companions. She compared a marital relationship to a team of oxen pulling weighted sleds. In order to pull well, the teams had to hit the yoke at the exact same time with equal amounts of force. If one or both oxen hit at different times or with unequal force, the teams would veer off to one side and the sleds wouldn't move at all.

Sister Terry told us that she talks to a lot of young women who have found themselves in relationships where the two people didn't pull together. Often times, the young women was pulling the young man along with her, and it was painful for the girl to put so much effort and receive so little in return. She said that for a woman, there can be several red flags that will save a lot of time and heartache: "If you find yourself thinking, 'I can help him', then it's probably not going to be a good relationship. Both people have to have the same values, to be 'equally yoked', to take on a problem at the same time with the same force and determination. Otherwise if you hit that yoke at different times with different degrees of force, it's going to hurt."

Sister Terry acknowledged that many girls want to help young men, and sometimes we really can make a difference. However, we are NOT to be their saviors. Referring to a man who is struggling, she said "He already has a savior. That person is not you."

What an incredible thought. I barely had time to think about the complete truth behind this and apply it to my own life before she hit me with her next statements about how it is absolutely unnecessary for a woman to risk her safety, happiness, and well-being to help a man who cannot or will not help himself.

Then, after flipping through memories in my mind fast enough to turn a 4G network connection into dial-up, she said this:

"The Lord will never sacrifice his daughters to save his sons."

Deep breath. Sincere prayer. Remember blessings. Apply lessons. Do this.

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