Thursday, November 17, 2011

okay that was the worst thing I've ever seen...

5 minutes until "Twilight: Breaking Dawn" is released to the general public of my state. I saw it at 7pm. It was for PartyLand's big pre-premier party that they do with a lot of popular movies that come out. Corporate gave me and the rest of the PartyLand employees free tickets to go and we were all "highly encouraged" to attend. Encouraged being more like guilted into it. So I went, and I got my cute little Twilight grab bag full of candy and coupons and a really fun pretend diamond ring that I couldn't stop playing with. And I watched the movie.

You know what? I hated it.

Seriously, I'm being generous if I give it a 3 out of 10. It was that bad. Sorry all of you Twilight fans out there...I honestly don't care if you liked it or not. If you did, great! You didn't waste your time and I'm happy you had an enjoyable evening. If you're like me, you're sitting there thinking why, when there was the potential for SO MANY other uplifting activities, did I sit through THAT?

The acting? Terrible. Stiff. Definitely ACTED, not portrayed. There is a difference. Yes, Taylor Lautner was decent. And as always, I love the actor who plays Charlie Swan. I don't know his name, but he's the only one I believe every time he's onscreen. Everyone else is just so stiff and dry and clearly repeating lines they memorized. Especially the wolves. And the Cullens. And the two leads., everyone. Terrible, terrible.

The music? Only part of the movie that actually held my interest, honestly. I was bored ten minutes into the movie, so I found myself focusing on the soundtrack and playing with the ring from my goodie bag. Also scoping out the nearest exit signs in case I decided to make a mad dash out of the theater to escape the disaster that was happening onscreen.

The content? Um...yikes. I was actually ashamed of myself for going to that movie. Article of Faith #13: "We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men...If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report, or praiseworthy, we seek after these things."

First off, what I actually watched didn't fit the bill. I probably missed half of the movie; I closed my eyes a lot of the time, mentally wondering why the heck I was sitting in that theater and wishing I had the courage to leave while at the same time rationalizing why it was okay for me to stay (no car [although a ride was offered], sitting on the opposite side of the theater from the exit so it would be super awkward [then seeing the one behind me about ten minutes later], worrying I'd trip over my friend sitting next to me [he's probably used to that by now]). It wasn't just the immoral content of the movie. Yes, I KNOW they were married, but honestly that argument is invalid. It was the other gruesome, disgusting, ugly content that has left me five hours later still feeling unsettled and awful.

Overall, it was terrible. I feel terrible. The only really good parts of the night were riding with my cute coworker to the theater in his big red Jeep, sitting next to said cute coworker, making jokes and laughing with the same cute coworker, and the ride to my house with my cute coworker after he offered to take me home.

We spend so much time laughing together that it actually amazes me, especially when I make him laugh really hard. He's a funny guy, always coming up with something witty or sarcastic or clever, so to make him laugh so hard that he almost wrecks the car is a big deal. I really like being friends with him! He's so fun to be with! Not to mention he is flawless in his performance as a gentleman. No awkwardness or hesitation there. He just goes for it and makes it happen. Makes a girl feel special, you know? So thanks, Tracy, for asking him to drive me instead of forcing me to do it myself. You're a gem. :)

PS Funny stories. I'm Coworker 2, he's Coworker 1.

"The Tale of the Ring"
Coworker 1: "Ooo! A diamond ring! Wait...what?! Cubic zirconium?! I feel ripped off!"
Coworker 2: "Cubic zirconium...I thought these rings were just made out of plastic."
Coworker 1: *shakes his head and smirks*
Coworker 2: " that what cubic zirconium is? Plastic?"
Coworker 1: "Yup."
Coworker 2: "Oh. I didn't know that. Well. I guess I learned something today. Thanks."
Coworker 1: *busts up laughing*

"Remember That One Time You Almost Wrecked Your Jeep?"
Coworker 1: "That was a terrible movie."
Coworker 2: "No kidding. I feel like I have a really bad taste in my mouth that I can't get rid of."
Coworker 1: *laughs so hard Coworker 2 is surprised*

PPS His Jeep is named Sheila. My Saturn is named Sheila. What the heck?


Q said...

Cubic zirconium is not plastic.

It's more like glass, I think. But it's MUCH harder than glass. So perhaps more like quartz (which admittedly is made of the same stuff as most glass) or topaz (not sure on this one). But it definitely isn't plastic. It's actually a pretty decent diamond substitute in terms of looks and hardness (because diamonds set an extremely high standard).

But again. Not plastic. Tell your coworker.

Georgie K. Buttons said...

Ah HA! So I really DO know something! Thank you, Q, for this. :D

spider said...

I just got back from seeing it, and I regret not listening to your warning. It... eugh. I can't even... I can't stop picturing it. I feel gross.

Georgie K. Buttons said...

Oh, I totally agree. It really does leave you feeling dirty. Listen to some uplifting music, eat some yummy fruit, look at pictures of puppies and other small fluffy animals, and you'll be good. It does help get rid of it. :)