Monday, December 26, 2011


I am surprised how quickly I can drink a bottle of water.
...that I have cried during every single movie I have watched over the past 4 days.
...because at almost 20 years old I still worry about hurting a stuffed animal's feelings. realize that I go back to school at BYU, of all places, in one day over a week.
...when I get a paycheck from work because I always forget I get paid to have so much fun.
...that John, Ruthie's older brother, gave me such a nice Christmas present (a necklace with my first initial on the chain). how much I miss Jordan. how very awkward I feel around my sisters' friends.
...that sometimes I know more than I think I do.
...when I can eat a huge meal and not feel full, comfortably or uncomfortably, at all. realize that I have only tripped twice in the past five days.
...that it is so comforting to hold a stuffed toy, like my giant, pink, fluffy unicorn (named Agnes). how many of my friends are suddenly pairing off and getting together. find myself wondering if I truly understand what it is to feel love for someone and to feel loved in return. the number of times in the recent past that I have found myself lost for words.
...because despite all of the wonderful, marvelous, joyous things in my life, I'm still lonely.


1 comment:

spider said...

I know what you mean about the stuffed animals. I still apologize profusely whenever I wake up and find I've thrown them off of the bed in the middle of the night, and when I leave for a long time, I make sure none of them are sitting alone somewhere because I don't want them to be lonely.