Saturday, October 16, 2010

she's not perfect...

I can think of nothing to say. There has been so much in my mind and in my heart these past couple of days, but the feelings won't turn into words. Or they will. Simple, single words and phrases.

These are my words:

guilt.
fear.
pain.
want to belong.
want to trust.
want to be held.
want to be okay.


These are his words:

She loves her mama's lemonade,
hates the sound that good-byes make.
She prays one day she'll find someone to need her.
She swears that there's no difference
between the lies and compliments.
It's all the same if everybody leaves her.

And every magazine tells her she's not good enough.
The pictures that she sees make her cry.

And she would change everything. Everything-just ask her.
Caught in the in-between, a beautiful disaster.
And she just needs someone to take her home.

She's giving [people*] what they want;
tries to act so nonchalant,
afraid they'll see that she's lost her direction.
She never stays the same for long,
assuming that she'll get it wrong.
Perfect only in her imperfections.

She's not a drama queen. She doesn't want to feel this way.
Only seventeen but tired.

She would change everything for happy ever after.
Caught in the in-between, a beautiful disaster.
But she just needs someone to take her home.

She's just the way she is, but no one's told her
that's okay.

And she would change everything. Everything-just ask her.
Caught in the in-between, a beautiful disaster.
She would change everything for happy ever after.
Caught in the in-between, a beautiful disaster.

She just needs someone to take her home.


(song credit Jon McLaughlin; *edited lyrics for personal use: [people])

I know that this is my fault, for feeling this way. I know I need to rely on myself and God, and not on others. I'm trying to let it all go, to be happy. To try-the human past time. I'm trying.

6 comments:

SandyCarlson said...

You are beautiful. Believe it. You can begin from anywhere. Believe it. It's all so very good. Believe it.

Your words are gorgeous. You have a beautiful heart.

Georgie K. Buttons said...

Thank you, Sandy.

Shadow said...

I like that song. Letting things go and being happy is hard. I know it is. But Im glad your trying, Georgie. It makes me want to try. Keep your chin up!
SHADOW

Georgie K. Buttons said...

Thanks, Shadow.

Woman in a Window said...

Here's something I didn't know when I was growing up (and I mean even through my 30's) and something my children don't know, but boy would I like them to know. Life is not easy and it's not even supposed to be. It is during exactly those tough times that we are granted the gift of growth. But even knowing this, I think with one side of my brain while I'm in it, that it sucks, but with the other I am watching myself to see how I might grow.

Sandy is right, you are beautiful. You really are. You are a soft, thoughtful, empathetic and poetic girl. Imagine how that is such thick soil to grow the woman that you are becoming. It's ok for one side of your brain to struggle that bit, if you allow the other side of your brain to marvel at what you are growing into.

xo
erin

Georgie K. Buttons said...

Growing hurts. But I'll remember that growing things are beautiful, like flowers. They grow out of the dirt. They stand in the heat, the wind, the rain, sometimes the snow. But they're still beautiful. Always. You are all my flowers, you know that? Thanks.