Thursday, June 23, 2011

wrong with this picture...

I have several friends who have been to or are currently in other countries around the world. Most of them are there as LDS missionaries or members of humanitarian groups. Two of these friends, young women I look up to very much, have been sharing stories that are really sticking with me tonight. One is in Fiji. One just got back from Kenya. Here is what is going through my mind:

I look at the pictures these girls post of their adventures. They show people living in the dirt. They have almost nothing. It's something I have only ever imagined, and I've done a poor job of it.

Here I sit, in this cozy house at a kitchen table, typing on my computer with a high speed Internet connection while I wait for the dinner that's cooking in the microwave. I've been thinking about the things that I'm trying to fix in my life, and feeling sad because of some of the hard things.

These things aren't hard. I'm ashamed of myself for being so concerned about whether or not some young man notices me, and worried about my job, and school coming up this fall. I've felt sad and scared over things that are so...just...lame.

Something is wrong with this picture. I'm amazed at the guilt that I feel, which is saying a lot coming from me because I usually feel guilty for something.

It needs to change. I need to change myself, and see the good things that I have, like the fact that I actually HAVE a job. Stop worrying about it and work. Stop thinking about what can go wrong and just do. Stop being afraid and just be.

1 comment:

Sierra said...

Being one of the friends puts me in a difficult position! Haha. I am home, dealing with these things, and still having to live in reality. But if africa taught me one thing (and believe me, it taught me many) it is simply this: we (I) are truly truly blessed. And that doesn't mean we won't have down days.
It just means that I know have hope when things look bleak. I love you!