amazing...

I've been thinking about the meanings of words. Words, written or spoken, are how we communicate. But do we really know what the words we say mean? I think that sometimes the things that we say are exaggerated or even overused. Take the word love. How often do you hear that every day? And, in all of those times it's used, how often is it used correctly? The frequent and inaccurate use of the word love, in a way, cheapens it.

The word "amaze" is another that comes to mind. The dictionary defines it as

to overwhelm with surprise or sudden wonder; astonish greatly
I use this word too much. I use it to describe foods, performances, movies, events, even people -- and sometimes those things aren't very amazing. I exaggerate the description of the whatever I've experienced or seen to fit the definition of amaze; I use it for the wrong things. They're still great things, and far from average, but they don't astonish or overwhelm me.

Some things, though, really do amaze me. Some people amaze me (for bad and for good reasons). For example, I was amazed by the amount of dishes that were in the sink when I got home, so amazed that I stopped dead in the doorway and almost cried. It sounds like a stupid thing to cry over, but because the other person in the family who helps me try to keep up with the house gone for the week, it now has all fallen to me. I truly was overwhelmed and shocked.

If you're wondering if I did the dishes, no. I haven't yet. Bad person. :P
So that's an example of a bad thing that amazed me. Here's a good example:

Last night at a friend's bridal shower, I stayed after most people had left to help clean up (and to make a general nuisance of myself because I'm pretty sure I ended up more in the way than being productive). Everything was close to finished, and the hostess's husband brought pizza home for his family. I was the only one left there who wasn't related to someone in the room, so I felt awkward about taking any food. When my friend offered some to me, I said no because I wasn't family.

What she said has stuck with me all day long. She looked at me and said, "Well, you're my family."

That really and truly amazed me. It still does. I was so suprised, and it made me feel so...just good inside.

Words are important. The casual use of words seems almost cheap to me. If we only ever use words to express what they really mean, we will have more meaning -- so much more.

frustrated in a happy sort of way...

Why are you such a sweetheart?

Why are you so much fun?

Why do you take good care of me?

Why are you such a wonderful listener?

Why do you always know exactly what questions to ask and what answers to give?

Why are you so smart?

Why are you such a great friend?

What on earth am I going to do without you?


.

awkward, funny, what?

From college:

Guy in my Humanities class: "You just like the Sherlock series because of his curly dark hair. All the girls love that."
Reply: "No. I just like the way he holds his gun."

Stats professor: "I should never ask questions on Monday mornings."

Humanities professor: "You can't disagree with a General Authority. That's starting an argument with God!"

From family:

Amanda: "So we were talking about Afrighanistan in class yesterday..."
Interuption: "Afrighanistan? Do you mean Afghanistan?"
Amanda: "What, you mean I've been saying it wrong my entire life?!"

Amanda: "Whenever I squish a Skittle it turns into a shape like an FUO...wait...no! I meant UFO!"

And last but not least...

From Primary:

Little girl talking about how excited her little brother is that her mom is going to have another little boy...finally: "Now he won't be the lone man in the garden of estrogen."

6-year-old boy: "I don't want to get married."
Another 6-year-old boy: "Yeah. It looks stupid. All that work for dumb kids like us. Adults are crazy."

more...

...goals for my life...
...talk less, listen more
...think less, do more
...social media less, face to face more
...plan to be less, be the plan more
...laze less, study more
...fear less, hope more
...change less for others, change more for me and the Lord
...worry less, act more
...fight less, accept more
...complain less, rejoice more
...cry less for sadness, cry more for joy
...walk less, dance more
...silence less, sing more
...forget less, remember more
...frown less, smile more
...dress down less, dress up more
...get less, give more
...spend less, save more
...waste less, use more
...watch less, read more
...ignore less, observe more
...doubt less, believe more
...make from box less, make from scratch more
...copy less, create more
...surf less, write more

Ready...go. :)

*giggle...*

Why giggle, you ask?

Can't tell you. Yet. But I will. Soon! Promise.

*GIGGLE!!!*

nothing but the best...

It's been 3 months since I last spoke to Aries. It's been even more since I've seen him. This has been a strange time, with some days flying by so quickly I never had time to think about him, and other days the reminders were so prevalent that the days seemed to stop, flooded with memories and the insufferable "what ifs".

Before going to my sister's ballroom concert, I realized that he would most likely be there. It made total sense: he was ballroom captain in high school, his uncle is the team coach, he has friends on the team, he is friends with people who are friends with people on the team, his uncle and aunt were performing in the concert, he loves to watch ballroom. Adding it up, it definitely makes sense to conclude that he would be there, especially since he wasn't there last night (I asked my parents when they got home from the concert yesterday evening).

And so, I carefully applied mascara and lipstick, fixed my bright blue ribbon, found a comfortable pair of shoes, and made sure I had cash in my wallet. It wasn't going to matter at all. We'd see it each other, we'd ignore each other, and we'd be done with each other again. Staring at my reflection, squaring my shoulders, giving the mirror a firm look -- ready to go.

3 months of not speaking, 6 months of not seeing later -- it was fine, right?

Wrong. Deader than a three-day-old dead man wrong. But the strange thing is, I don't know why.

I really don't know why. I kept catching myself glancing over my shoulder to see if he was coming. Stop it, I said, You're acting like you actually want to see him. Then other self, Well...maybe you do. Maybe you still... to which first self firmly stepped in with a resounding Shut up and look at the stage.

See him I did -- and it was awful. I heard someone say my name behind me, so I turned around. It was a friend's parents, and as I shifted to face the front again, there he was. That second of eye contact was one of the most drawn out seconds of my life. He looked at me in a way I can't even describe. I don't know how to describe what I felt either. It was like...like an allergic reaction. Shaking head to foot, heart pounding, unable to talk, and so very cold.

I don't know why I reacted that way. What was even stranger was how I felt after the concert. I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to hear his voice, I wanted him to hold me like he used to, I wanted to be friends again. The only things that kept me back were fear of what friends and family would say if I did that and fear of Aries himself. I haven't felt that afraid in so long. Neither have I felt such longing for someone.

What the heck, right? I don't get it. WHAT. The heck. Why on earth do I want to go back to him? Why do I wish with all of my heart that he'd given me some clue that he wanted to talk to me? Why does it feel so hard to breath?

I made it home in one piece (probably because I wasn't driving) and made it to my room before I broke down. I desperately wanted to talk to someone, but I couldn't think of anyone to call. And all of the sudden I was hitting the dial button on my phone, not even sure of who I was calling...and Brady answered the phone.

Brady is another person I haven't talked to in almost three months, but that hasn't been the result of a falling out (or a safety precaution). He and I both had to leave the choir at the same time. Of all the people to call, right? However, I am so, so glad that I did. He's one of the people who is already familiar with the situation, so I didn't have to explain. He is also one of those people who has been given the gift of knowing exactly what to say in exactly the way it needs to be said at exactly the right time. If you ever have a problem, talk to Brady. You can be sobbing so hard you can't talk and he doesn't care. He just waits and listens, and not just to you. He listens to the Holy Ghost and shares what he feels and hears. I am so grateful for Brady.

I am so, so grateful for the friends in my life who help me. I'm so grateful for my family's support, and even for the dagger eyes that my little sister shot Aries (she's not one you want to mess with). I am also so grateful for a Heavenly Father who cares about me enough to inspire the still working subconscious parts of my brain to select Brady's number and press the dial button.

Right now, I don't understand why this hurts so much. I don't understand why I would give almost anything I possess to be a part of Aries's life again, and to have him back in mine. I don't know why I literally ache with missing him. I don't know why I feel this way, but it's how I feel.

Another thing I'm grateful for: this is from Sister Teddy Wright's letter that she sent this week. As always, letters from missionaries come at exactly the time I need them. I'll share what she wrote with you:

"A week ago I was looking outside at the rain and the storm that was coming in. The rain here is intense and it passes as quickly as it comes. As I was looking and pondering I realized that Heavenly Father gives us personal storms. And although it seems hard, the whole reason for storms is to make the earth more beautiful. That is the reason for our personal storms. The Lord is making us more beautiful and letting us grow. And with the rain always comes the promise of a rainbow."

Aries, I wish you nothing but the best in your life. I'm sorry for the mistakes I made. I wish that we could have fixed things. Because we couldn't, well...good luck to you.

lost tonight...

...wishing under these deep city lights...



...to be stronger than I am
...to be able to keep things to myself
...to not be a burden
...to be able to smile for real
...to be able to sing again
...to know how to meet expectations
...to pick the right path
...to love fully
...to be alone without being lonely
...to find motivation within myself
...to change
...to understand
...to have the holes inside me filled
...to accept what I cannot control and to let it go
...to have faith instead of fear
...to go one day without crying
...to grasp what is true and what is not
...to think less and do more
...to care more about the people and less about the people's actions
...to forgive
...to forget
...to let go of the past
...to walk without looking at the ground
...to sleep, and then to sleep without dreams
...to be enough

...fading away in wishes...fading away in the work of making them come true...

...keep going...

...

image found on Pinterest

church and state...

I had some pretty good laughs in Sharing Time today. I swear, kids say the cutest things. It makes me glad that I get to be a Primary teacher.

Teacher displaying a picture of an apostle on the board: "Who is this a picture of?"
Little girl: "Abraham Lincoln."

Actually...it was Boyd K. Packer. Good try, hon!

Teacher: "Who is the president?"
Little boy: "Obama is, but we better get Romney this time."

She meant the president of the church, but considering the little guy's parents, it's an easy mistake to make. Chip off the old block, he is, haha!

Music leader: "Do you have a question?"
Little girl: "No, I just wanted to point out that I noticed that in the first two lines of this song, the last two words, well...they're homophones. 'Hear' and 'here.' See it?"

Yay for grammar lessons!

meltdown...

It's very frustrating how upset I get over such weird, unimportant things. There's usually a combination of these three things: 1) blow up, 2) clam up, or 3) sob uncontrollably.

Generally speaking it's two out of those three things, in any order and any combination. And it'll happen almost anywhere at any time over anything, be it at school or at home or during a game of laser tag.......what?

Yes. While laser tagging tonight with Jason, Ruthie, Morgan, Amanda, Meghan, Kyle, Mandy, Makay, and some other amigos (who I met tonight and their names escape me), I was suddenly struck with how horrible the game was. There we were, running around in the dark with music blaring and lasers flashing, sneaking around corners and diving for cover, while on the other side of the world people do the same thing -- but if they get shot, that's it. No flashing vest, no blinking gun belt, no little voice grating "Energize" over and over again in your ear. You're shot, you're shot -- you're dead or dying.

That sounds so dramatic, but that's what went through my head. And I lost it. My legs literally buckled under me and I fell into the wall, sobbing. I just slumped there and cried for about five minutes, hating myself and all of us for treating something so serious as a game. It felt so wrong, like a mockery of what people are going through in other countries -- some of them fighting for us.

For the last half of the game I felt cold and removed. I hardly ever got hit. I hit a lot of people. I counted down the time until the game was over and was the first to leave the game room. It was a strange feeling, one of guilt and shame and absolute exhaustion. Talking took too much effort and too much energy. It was the same when I got home with my sisters -- until I exploded a little bit because my sister ate my piece of pie (just how stupid is that) and then ran to my room, crying uncontrollably again.

It was only a game. It doesn't matter. My reaction was (and still is) ridiculous.

I don't understand why I keep doing this.

lately...

...thinking...
...it's unfortunate that someone so talented as you are can be so unkind. Just because you're one of the big names in the BYU music department doesn't give you a right to treat your students in such a truly rude fashion. That isn't teaching -- teaching is building, not breaking. Build trust, build talent, build excellence -- build people.
...people who are cruel to animals, even mice, make me sick. So sick that yes, I did start to cry during my Stats class today.
...what is it to love someone? Really. What is it?
...I'm not sure why I don't want to talk to people anymore, or go anywhere. It just doesn't appeal to me right now. At all.

...doing...
...why, yes, I did write an 8-page paper on the day that it was due. Happiness for first drafts. Time to revise it.
...wore flip flops to school today. Almost barefoot on a beautiful spring day.
...my dad told me that Pinterest was a waste of time. Then I made German pancakes. He asked me what I'd pinned this week, and if I needed him to go to the grocery store to get anything for a new recipe. #heartDaddy
...despite feeling (dare I say being) very against any social contact with people, I did text Parker last night, and he and I went to a movie. We Bought a Zoo. So cute. Little girl -- beagle -- Spar -- happy soundtrack -- good movie. Best part? Spending time with Parker. Love that guy. Best buds.
...too many bad dreams. Waking up to sunshine is a nice change.

...feeling...
...my Humanities professor said this: "Now, Georgie here really shows her purity and dearness with her comment about how people are all hypocrites but all doing their best despite that. You can tell she's a really sweet, dear girl." Turned a bad day around and I was all glowy inside. Still a little glowy.
...often near tears...not sure why...just the way it goes sometimes.
...back to We Bought a Zoo, let me say that I haven't smiled during a movie so much as I did last night. I've thought about it sometimes today and I just grin.
...tired. Very, very tired.
...empty?



PS Happy Pi Day

odd bits...

Sometimes I have conversations with myself. I had one earlier this afternoon. It went something like this.

Self 1: "Why are you stressing out about this so much? It's just a paper. There could be an earthquake tomorrow and you spent your whole week stressing about a paper that won't even matter."

Self 2: "Well. The odds of an earthquake happening tomorrow are so slim that I'm going to keep stressing, thank you. Now be quiet so I can type this up."

Self 1: "You're boring."

Self 2: "You're impractical."
*pause*
Self 1: "Touche."

beagle boy...

I've been missing my Buddy dog lately. Misty and Molly are great girls, and I love them. Right now, though, I wish that I could hear Buddy clickety click across the kitchen, trot thuddle trot down the stairs, skippity HEAVE up onto my bed, then feel him put his head on my lap, see him look up at me, and with those eyes of his ask, "Hey, friend. Whatcha doin'?"




I wish I'd spent more time with him. I wish I'd taken more pictures. I wish I could have him back, and hear his booming bray; see him grin after treeing a cat or mastering a trick; feel his silky soft ears between my fingers; hold him tight when I'm sad or afraid.

Oh, I miss my Buddy.

too cute...

HOW are they so CUTE?!




I mean, come on. How can you resist this face?






"Hey! I like you!"


"The cat made me do it."


BABY BEAGLE!!


All images found through Google Images

kid stuff...

Another great Primary lesson today. We talked about how children can be missionaries through keeping the commandments and being good examples for their friends, families, and neighbors. Sophie made an interesting point. I'm paraphrasing, but here's the gist of it:

"There's a difference between knowing you should do something and acting what you know you should do. Like, if you tell somebody to read their scriptures but you're not reading your scriptures, it isn't as good. So being a good example means you don't just say stuff that's good, you do the stuff that's good. If you don't, then you're not a good example. You're just sort of faking it and people think you're awesome but you're not. It's a big difference."

Moments like that make me happy. She gets it. And it also makes me think, remind me how old...oh, right. You're seven. As of about a month ago. *pleasantly surprised head shake*

One of the things we talked about doing was supporting the Elders out in the mission field by writing them letters and giving them encouragement. Each child wrote a letter or drew a picture for some of the missionaries from our ward.

Putting the letters into envelopes and applying stamps was interesting. Most of the kids had never seen a stamp, which in retrospect isn't that big of a surprise. They were very intrigued by them.

Primary boy: "That's not a stamp, it's a sticker!"
Me: "No, it's not a sticker. It's called a stamp, and it's used to pay the post office to mail your letter."
Primary boy: "They get paid in stickers?! Not fair!!"

Who'da thunk, huh?

Sharing Time was also quite fun. The Primary president had a matching game for part of her lesson. There were pictures of prophets and apostles mounted on orange paper on one side of the board and pieces of paper with their names on the other side. The kids had to help each other match the pictures to the name tags. One little girl, Ella, was selected to turn over a picture to see whose face was on the other side. She got up to the board and just stood there, frowning. The Primary president asked her to turn over a picture and Ella said no. When asked why, she responded "I don't like any of those colors."

Orange is Ella's least favorite color. It's "Ew."

Quite an enjoyable Sunday meeting block.

squirrel...

A lot of things are driving me nuts lately. I should get over it.

However, I'm not over it yet. So I'm going to write it down to at least get it out of my head (haha) and be able to sleep for a couple of hours tonight instead of being awake thinking until my alarm clock goes off. Actually a minute before it goes off, because I always wake up at least one minute before the beeper starts. I hate waking up to that sound...it's a subconscious mechanism to avoid the grating ME-MEEP-MEEP-MEEP every a.m.

1. Sometimes I do really stupid things, and because they were so stupid I keep replaying them in my head and feeling my face turn red for a long time afterward. Like tonight at work. Tracy, my manager, had just gone to grab something, so I was at the front counter by myself. I was playing with a pen that we have. It's got a Santa on the top (yes, I know it's March...but the Christmas stuff is still on clearance [75% off, mind you] so the pen is there too) hooked to an elastic string, and a trigger that you push and it shoots Santa out until he hits the end of his rope. Then he bounces back and you do it again. And again. And in my case, again, for whole minutes of a shift.

Anyway, Santa tangent aside, there I was playing with the Santa Shooter, by myself. All of the sudden I whipped the pen around and did this weird ninja kick thing. At the same time I pulled the trigger on the pen and let loose a loud "HeeeeeeYAH!" while punching outward with the pen. And then I realized...I was at WORK, with customers IN the store, so I really WASN'T by myself. I spun back around feeling absolutely mortified, making sure nobody had seen it.

Thankfully, they hadn't. Phew. That could have been as awkward as I felt.

2. English paper. Oh, and the oral presentation that has to go with it. Ima go find a cliff and drive off of it in my car, k? Buh.

3. My Pinterest pin boards have stupid names. When I go to change them, though, I just can't make myself write something like "Valentine's Day" or "My Style". Every body (most-body) does that. I just can't do it.

4. I overgeneralize a lot. It's bad.

5. While I was upstairs in the kitchen studying for the exam I have to take tomorrow (number 6 on the "What's Bothering Georgie" list), I couldn't help but hear what my mom was watching in the other room. Henry V, with the guy who plays Gilderoy Lockhart (I can spell that, but not the actor's name) in the Harry Potter movies. All I did was hear what was going on, and I had to leave. Not wanted to leave, had to leave. And then I cried and felt like throwing up for half an hour. It was awful. It's still bothering me. Hence number 5 on the list.

We've already done number 6.

7. I can't sleep anymore. Even when I'm asleep I'm not sleeping. That doesn't make sense, but it does at the same time.

8. I complain a lot.

Something that isn't bothering me is the SUNSHINE(!!!) we've had all week and it's AWESOME.

the 7 habits of highly effective people...

A friend told me to read this book. He said it was life changing for him, and that he thoroughly enjoyed it.

Want to hear a secret?
I hate it a little bit.
Okay, so maybe hate is a strong word, but I don't like it very much. And the fact that I don't like it points to the problems that I have. So it's this circle dealio that goes from me reading a section ----> seeing myself in a section ----> I don't like what the section says about people like me ----> trying to change is really difficult ----> I feel like a total failure ----> those feelings are further evidence that I am "reactive, dependent, and immature" ----> I feel like a terrible person ----> stupid book ----> REACTIVE, DEPENDENT, IMMATURE ----> tears. For hours. Like, really.

I don't think I'm supposed to take this book personally...it's kind of a bad thing. But it's more like I'm seeing so many things that I do and already knew I needed to fix about myself, so the book reinforces how awful I felt about my "progress" in the first place.

Meh. This post doesn't make any sense. I'm just spewing.

Hm. That word always makes me think of house elves.

Whutevah.

happy making...

First order of business: yesterday was a bad day and I'm sorry for being a whiny baby. Thank you to all of the people who helped me through it.

Second order of business: today was a pretty darn good day overall. There have been some hard moments (or hours) but it's been good.

Here's why...
...cute boy (Kyle) from my English class sitting down next to me and talking to me before the lecture started (that never happens so it was momentous)
...97% on my 16 hour monstrosity of a literary review
...+3 extra credit points on aforementioned assignment for my "excellent notations" (the word excellent was triple underlined) so...
...100%(!!!) on literary review

[insert much rejoicing]

...ANYWAY...
...96% on my resume portfolio
...watching a video in my religion class that starred my super gorgeous cool cousin Paul (it's only awkward because we're related...if you saw a picture of him, you'd understand)
...15/15 on my stats quiz for the day...I get ridiculously giddy when I get 100% on a stats quiz
...getting to religion class late = bad, but getting there late to find a seat reserved for you by classmates = good...yay FRIENDS!!! Yay Nia, Derek, and Autumn!!!
...lunch with dad
...Coke...three glasses of it...OH DEAR, maybe that's why I'm feeling so great today...*smirk*
...religion professor turning his head really quickly to answer a question and his glasses flying off his face: "Whoa! Maybe we should just have the closing prayer now and call it good, because that was weird."
...Costco adventure with dad to get dinner (spinach artichoke dip and crackers which dad called a genius idea)
..."Safe and Sound" by Taylor Swift...OBSESSED with this song
...getting a hug and a hello from beautiful Allie Morgan(!!!) at Costco
...BLASTING songs on the radio with the car windows rolled down
...multiple favorite songs right in a row on the radio..."Set Fire to the Rain," "Part of Me," "Make You Glad You Came," "We Found Love", and more...all in a ROW
...found my wedding dress last night (so what if it was actually found yesterday, I'm still excited)...do I need it yet? nooo...do I love it anyway? pretty much...YES
...English professor on Twilight movies: "I'm always distracted by Edward's strange looking chest--why is ANYONE attracted to that?!"
...along the lines of pectorals: "See, now you all know how to get me distracted and frazzled. You just have to mention pecs and I'll get all...like this. And I was so excited for a great lecture today."

Oh, it was a great lecture, Liz. Hilarious.

PS The pectoral conversation was my fault...she asked for a good movie for an example of anthamemes (spelling...she never actually wrote it out on the board) and I shouted out "CAPTAIN AMERICA!" Ready, GO! Cue the comments about buff super heroes, naked torsos, rippling pectorals, et cetera. However, that is not why I like the movie. In fact...the scenes where Steve's musculos grandes (quoting from Jordan's most recent letter to me) are emphasized? Those are the ones where I feel really uncomfortable. Sup awk, guys. SUP awk.

I guess I just have issues with nudity.

alone...

This is going to sound really, really ridiculous but...

I feel forgotten.
Not by everyone. But by a lot of friends who I care deeply about and who told me they'd be there for me and they haven't been. Which is stupid because I should just be grateful for the people who are consistently there. All the same, I feel somewhat abandoned.

It's very, very hard to keep in touch with people who never reply.

It's very, very hard to be the one who makes the attempt to say hello or plan something, especially when that attempt is rejected, seen as insincere, or blown off because someone didn't think I was serious. Or when someone said they would come and then forgot or scheduled something else.

It's very hard to realize that people might not care about you as much as you care about them.

It's very hard to wake up every day knowing that somewhere your friends are together and you're alone.

It's very hard to be shut down every time you try to do something nice for someone, be it a family member, a friend, or even a stranger.

It's very hard to be the one people tell all of their struggles to when you personally have no one to go to. Why no one to go to? Because they already told you the hard things going on in their lives. You can't add to it -- that would be unkind.

It's very hard to put on a happy face in front of your best friends and your family so that they don't worry about you. After all, it's easier to smile than explain why you feel the way that you do. Especially when the way that you feel stems from selfishness.

All of this is selfishness. And I don't know how to change it. I'm reading books, I'm taking classes, I'm doing the best I know how to become a better person. I'm praying and begging God to help me change, to expect less or even nothing from others, to rely on myself and His guidance for happiness.

It's just really hard to be happy when you feel so very alone. And it's really hard to be happy when you know you have a problem that you don't know how to change.

February top 10 + 1...

If you're sensing a Valentine's Day and/or break up song theme...it was an accident.

1. Unapologize -- Carrie Underwood
2. Ships in the Night -- Mat Kearney
3.1 I Won't Give Up -- Jason Mraz
3.2 Just the Way You Are -- Jon Schimdt (Bruno Mars cover)
4. A Thousand Years -- Christina Perri
5. Bittersweet -- Spencer Schimdt
6. Let Me In -- Preston Powis
7. Set Fire to the Rain -- Adele
8. Kiss Me Slowly -- Parachute
9. Near to You -- A Fine Frenzy
10. Begin Again -- Colbie Callait

for you...

sweet kids...

Sometimes I don't like teaching primary. Those are the days when I feel super exhausted from being busy all week, and I can barely get out of bed let alone handle the energy of four very intelligent six-year-olds. Those days when I feel inadequate and worry that no matter how I present a lesson I'm not making a difference for the kids at all. Those are the days when I cannot for the life of me get the kids to sit in their chairs, let alone be quiet and reverent.

Other days I love teaching primary. Those are the days when I still feel all of the things I feel on not so good days, but they are also the days when the lesson goes well. The days when the kids remember what we talked about, and each of them raised their hands multiple times to participate, and each one of them behaved for the most part.

Those are also the days when they say really funny/cute things that make me burst into laughter on the inside while at the same time marveling at how smart they are. For example:

Primary boy one: "I want to draw a picture of people kicking and punching each other!"
Primary boy two: "No. Jesus would get mad at us."

Hilariously precious, right?

Primary teacher (me) showing a picture: "Who can tell me who this is?"
Primary boy: "IT'S JESUS!"
Primary girl: "Preston, you're not even looking at the picture. It's not Jesus, it's a kid with a horse." *looking at me and rolling her eyes* "Boys are so weird."
I agree, Sophie.

Primary teacher (me): "What do you think we're going to talk about today?"
Primary boy: "Choose the right. Because we always talk about choose the right every single lesson every year. It's like they think we haven't figured it out yet or something."

Oh, snap.

And just so you know, Preston: I felt exactly the same way when I was a six-year-old.

lately...

In the past week I have
...purchased and tested five different shades of lipstick
...hit 5,500 pins (and counting)
...not tripped once
...de-occupied Facebook
...cleaned started cleaning the bedroom
...written an 11 page paper in two days
...worn boots four days out of five
...almost cut my hair
...mopped the entire PartyLand floor -- twice
...eaten too much
...felt nothing and everything

I'm very much looking forward to finals. St. George trip, baby. I'm out of here.

let it go...

I know I've been posting a lot of videos and music lately, but sometimes it's enough.

DONE...

8 minutes after midnight and my assignment is DONE.

Good night.

your null hypothesis is no good...

My English teacher gave us an assignment to create an annotated bibliography and literary review of our sources for our research papers that are due near the end of March. We were (are) to
1. find 15 sources, 5 background and 10 contemporary
2. perfectly cite all sources in MLA format
3. add an annotation to each source explaining why it provides evidence for our thesis statement/argument
4. write a literary review explaining how our sources "talk to each other" in the scholarly conversation that we are entering with our topic

Estimated time of completion: 6-8 hours, to be handed in one week from the date assignment was given

15 hours of studying later, I'm thinking that my professor's hypothesis of 6-8 hours of work on this assignment is, in fact, off.

Yes, I did put it off until the last three days (I have good reasons...they're just kind of personal and stupid). However, it's taking me a lot longer than I feel like it should.

Based on what I've learned this semester, my professor's Ho, or null hypothesis of Ho: mu = 8hrs can be countered with an alternative hypothesis, Ha: mu > 8hrs.

Do I want to talk to all of my classmates and find out the mean of our research and preparation time? Yes, in fact, I do. Do I actually have time to do it? H-freakin' no. I still have to write the literary review and read for Stats and read for Humanities and write in the solfege on my music for choir (I'm still the only one in that class who can't sight read solfege and it makes me feel ridiculously stupid awesome. Personally I think solfege is ridiculous. There are words for a reason. All I ever needed to know about "do, re, mi" I learned from The Sound of Music).

Oh, b the dub: hazelnut hot chocolate is good. Really good. I already knew that, but after today, it's been reaffirmed. That's a null hypothesis I can believe! Not that the equation actually applies here but...whatever.