Self 1: "Why are you stressing out about this so much? It's just a paper. There could be an earthquake tomorrow and you spent your whole week stressing about a paper that won't even matter."
Self 2: "Well. The odds of an earthquake happening tomorrow are so slim that I'm going to keep stressing, thank you. Now be quiet so I can type this up."
Self 1: "You're boring."
Self 2: "You're impractical."
Self 1: "Touche."