don't feel like it...

I don't feel like writing anymore. Sometimes the though of pulling out my laptop, turning it on, and posting makes me feel sick. Like going places that Buddy loved without him for the first time.

I'll be honest-I'm not completely sad all of the time. I laugh and talk and smile. And then I feel guilty. I feel like I'm forgetting. And then I catch myself looking around for him, or calling his name, and I know I haven't forgotten him. I've just forgotten that he's gone.

Misty is having a terrible time. I took her to the pet store today, one of her favorite places to go. My mistake; I felt empty and hollow, and she kept looking around for her lost friend. Then we ran into a couple with a beagle puppy. Misty, who has always been friendly to other dogs, gave a horrible growl and tried to attack it. She's like that with a lot of dogs now, and people too.

I don't want to do anything.