Monday, May 9, 2011

another second chance...

Soooo...I kind of sort of just maybe might have broken my agreement with Brianna and Shelby to ignore Aries. But how could I possibly ignore him when he left flowers on my doorstep with an apology and then contacted me to, again, apologize? That'd be unkind.

I was on choir non-tour (meaning we stayed within an hour of the Institute building at all times) all last week, and it was a blast. Friday we went to Salt Lake to go to the temple, do service projects, and spend some time relaxing on the grounds of the temple. It. Is. Gorgeous. I'd have a hard time imagining a place so beautiful. I don't think I've been there in the spring since I was little. I would have remembered.

As I was sitting with some friends looking at the flowers, I got a call from my mom. She told me that there was a bouquet of a dozen roses on the porch for me, with a note simply saying, "I'm Sorry." It wasn't signed, but I could only think of one person who would find it necessary to apologize to me for something.

Mom asked me what I wanted her to do with the flowers. Conversation as follows:

Me: "Well, are they pretty?"
Mom: "Yes. They're really beautiful, actually."
Me: "Okay then. Keep them."
Mom: "Really?"
Me: "Yes. I don't care who they're from if they're pretty. I love flowers. So keep 'em."

That made mom laugh really hard. I told some of my friends about the flowers and who I guessed they were from. I got several different reactions. Shelby was indifferent and told me to just let it go. Brad was disgusted. Brady was cautious and told me to be cautious. Teddy and Emilyann were jealous because someone sent me flowers. Lauren asked why they were sent and went from jealous to suspicious of the intention behind the gift.

I'll be honest. I'm suspicious, too. Is this just another form of manipulation? Or is he sincere? I mean, look at it:

1. He spent money on me.
2. He thought of it in the first place.
3. He took the time to go get the flowers.
4. He braved my parents to drop them off at my house. And my sisters.
5. He actually wrote the words "I'm Sorry."

So is all of this meant to guilt trip me? Because it's been starting to work. Or is this a sincere attempt to fix things? Because I don't know if it can be fixed. I don't want to burn any bridges. I'd prefer to think of it as building a gate with a sturdy lock, and the two of us can talk across the fence. However, he knows me so well. It'd be easy for him to find a way over the gate when I wasn't paying close enough attention.

I'm probably an idiot for doing this, but I agreed to talk to him. He asked me if I would. It didn't feel wrong to say yes. And if it is, then I guess I'll just learn something from whatever happens.

You know something? I find it odd that the first day Aries contacted me was the day that Brianna left on her mission to Nauvoo. Brianna has been the one most against this whole thing. Now she's gone. I kind of feel like I'm going behind her back. I'm not. I was just stupid and read the text message before I even remembered that I'd promised not to. As I pressed send I remembered, and my first thought was that I am going to be in serious trouble when she gets home.

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