Tuesday, April 19, 2011

an attempt...

Parts of today were really discouraging and sad. I am almost 99% positive that I failed my math test. I don't understand how I can get perfect or near perfect scores on the homework but do terribly on the actual test. I wasn't the only one in the class who was frustrated and confused. That thing was rough. Seriously, it was like I didn't know anything at all.

Another sad thing about today was the memory of something a friend said yesterday. I've been trying not to think about it, but it was kind of awkward to talk to him. He gave an honest but rather brutal opinion about something. He has no idea that I'm part of the group that he was speaking against. I wonder what would happen if he did. Of course it doesn't really matter much, but I just wonder, you know?

Third sad thing: Aries texted me and asked me what I want him to do. I told him I don't know, because really and truly I have no idea. His answer was that this is good-bye for now because it's apparent that I don't want him around so he won't stay. Now, I know I should be relieved by that. He made the decision to leave, and I didn't tell him to get out of my life or leave me the heck alone. However, it's strange that I feel sad. I guess that's what happens with friendships: the affection doesn't go away even when you're angry or feel like you can't trust a person. Yes, I am kind of relieved, but at the same time I feel really sad about the whole thing. Moving on is the next step, I suppose.

Now I will make an attempt at smiling, because there are always things to smile about (whether I actually do or not is another matter...I need to work on that). Here are some good things that happened during the day:
  1. Last History class of the semester AND I don't have to take the final! No more 8:30am class! Haha, that makes me sound like such a lazy person! I really liked that class. My professor was very good and very kind.

  2. No more math homework. Granted there is the final coming up so I have to study somehow, but nothing else is due.

  3. My Institute teacher (for Book of Mormon class) is hilarious. He never fails to make me laugh.

  4. LDC is recording this week!! We've been working on getting several of our songs ready for a CD. Our men section is incredible. Really. They're fantastic. I don't really know how the women sound, because I'm always singing with them (obviously), but my mom said we sound like angels. I'm guessing that's a good thing. I love singing with this choir. Honestly, it is one of my favorite things in life, and it's one of the best parts of the day.

  5. Another four hour nap.

  6. I got to talk to Sister Raddatz on the phone for awhile today. Talking to her really helps me so much. I don't know what it is about her, but she just knows exactly what to say. She also listens, really listens.

  7. Tomorrow morning I can sleep in because I don't have philosophy or math!! That is so awesome. I'm excited.

  8. Cheesecake. Smile much? Mhmmmm.

Everything will work out. Yeah, things are hard. Really hard sometimes. However, that's the way life is meant to be. If you didn't have the hard things, you'd never get stronger. You'd never learn if you didn't have weaknesses. Strength is great, but perhaps it's a little overrated sometimes. Only the strongest will admit that they are weak. It's part of humility. I really need more of that. I will learn. :)

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