ELIZA...

Stole this from Q. It's a program where you type a response and it generates a basic question/answer. My sentences have >> before them.

>> Hello.
How do you do. Please state your problem.
>> I don't have any problems
Don't you really have any problems ?
>> Well, it could be possible that I do.
You say it could be possible that you do ?
>> Yes.
You seem to be quite positive.
>> Actually, I'm not.
Is it because you are not that you came to me ?
>> No. My friend told me about you.
Are you saying no just to be negative?
>> No.
You are being a bit negative.
>> Nope.
I'm not sure I understand you fully.
>> I don't understand you, either.
Why don't you understand I ?
>> You mean, why don't I understand you?
We were discussing you -- not me.
>> No, we're discussing you.
Why not ?
>> What?
Why do you ask ?
>> Oh my goodness.
Your goodness ?
>> You are completely inept, you know that?
What makes you think I am completely inept ?
>> Your answers and questions.
Why are you concerned over my answers and questions ?
>> They're completely incoherent.
Lets discuss further why your goodness .
>> It's an idiomatic expression.
Please go on.
>> It expresses frustration.
What does that suggest to you ?
>> That I'm frustrated.
How long have you been frustrated ?
>> Since I began speaking with you.
Perhaps in your fantasies we began speaking with each other.
>> I'm sure we didn't not.
Do you believe it is normal to be sure we didn't not ?
>> Oh, completely.
Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
>> Not at the moment.
I'm not sure I understand you fully.
>> Here we go again.
Please go on.
>> No!
Why 'no' ?
>> Because you're bugging me!
Is that the real reason ?
>> No.
Are you saying no just to be negative?
>> Why not, sure.
Does that question interest you ?
>> Not in the slightest.
What does that suggest to you ?
>> That you're stupid.
Does it please you to believe I am stupid ?
>> YES, very much.
You are sure.
>> I've never been more sure in my life.
Why do you say your life ?
>> Because it's the only one I've had.
Don't any other reasons come to mind ?
>> Not really.
But your life .
>> What?
What is it you really wanted to know ?
>> If this program worked or not.
Do you think its likely that this program worked or not ?
>> It works. But I don't like it. It's frustrating.
Do you wish to be able to like it ?
>> I do not.
Can you elaborate on that ?
>> I could, but I don't want to.
Do you say you could for some special reason ?
>> You asked.
Oh, I asked ?
>> Duh.
Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
>> No.
You are being a bit negative.
>> Fine.
I'm not sure I understand you fully.
>> Good bye
Please go on.
>> No!
Why not ?
>> I get the last word, fool!
That's quite interesting.
>> ARG!