I have been electrified by a smile so many times today that I should be dead. I'm a walking miracle. "Teenage Girl Survives Lightning Strikes-18 in One Day!" could be a great headline.
I do know how it feels to get electrocuted. It goes like this: you make contact with the energy, and it courses through your body like hot light, shaking you and making you break the contact as soon as possible for fear of losing your sanity. But the temptation to not let go is strong, too, because the feeling is incredible, even though the continued touch with stop your heart. That time it was a vacuum. Now it's not quite so abiotic.
Mhmmm. Yes, there's a boy. Even though I'm trying not to like him, because I don't want to ruin a friendship with twitterpation. That'd be stupid. There's times when I see him, and my entire being tingles from my head to my toes. He looks back at me, or I look up at him in class, and my stomach does a triple back-hand spring with a round off double loop the loop with a somersault finish. Call it physically impossible, but my internal organs will disagree with you.
Then there's the times when we actually touch. When he pats me on the head after teasing me, or rests his hand on my shoulder when he looks at my computer screen to read something I've written, or lightly brushes my back when he walks past me to his seat. I actually gasped out loud last time, the surge was so strong.
Wow. I have never felt like this before, never in all of the little crushes I've had. There's never been this reaction, with my whole soul, body, and mind jumping for joy. I don't understand this.
It's definitely an exercise in self-control. I get these sudden urges to catch him in a hug, or tell him he's amazing, or kiss him on the cheek (Ew! What is wrong with me?!?!). I have to keep on my side of the line though. We're connected through friendship, and that's enough now.