Wednesday, January 28, 2009

so hurtful...

I was stretching out in my bed, getting ready to post a blog thing, and I bent my toe in a weird way. Now it's throbbing and hurting all the way to my ankle. How dumb is that?

I drove around by myself today for awhile. My friend Coty was sick, so I took her home instead of working out at the Rec Center. I was driving back to pick up my mom and sister (they were still at the center) and I saw so many people that I knew. I also almost hit a dog that ran out in the street in front of me (and the owners started screaming at me, which made me cry). I don't know why, but nearly every time I go driving without a parent with me, I nearly hit a dog. Anyway, I saw Maren and Brittan, and I think Kathryn was in the backseat, but the windows were tinted so I couldn't tell. Then I saw Mrs. Drakulich, and Taylor. They all said hello, or waved hello at least.

C grades hurt. I study and study and I almost always fail. I hate it. Frustration leads to discouragement leads to anxiety leads to fear leads to despair. All in a matter of hours, or even minutes.

I went to my ward mutual for the first time in a few months (I go on Thursdays to Special Needs). I shouldn't have gone. I should have stayed home and done my homework, which I'm just going to have to turn in late. Shoulda, coulda, woulda. Rules my life, it seems.

It snowed tonight, a little bit. I find myself liking snow, even if it isn't rain. Snow melts on your cheeks, and it hides tears almost as well as rain.

Misty hates it when I cry. It makes her sad, and she will always kiss the tears away. Buddy comes and sits next to me. He rests his head in my lap and sometimes licks my hand. Dogs are amazing.

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